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"I have an unfortunate personality." (George Orson Welles) Children are a poor man's riches. -- English proverb "Our lives are repetitious shams--every single day a simulacrum of the previous day. So for Man, he is out to pepper his daily activities with different things--he's fighting against boredom." (Matth It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. -- Oscar Wilde Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them tender. -- Mary Buckley Clothing I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge. -- Edward Chilton Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. -- Groucho Marx "To be great is to be misunderstood." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Clothing "Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong." (Muhammad Ali) Change before you have to. -- Jack Welch "The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked. 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'" (Lewi Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate. -- Dave Barry Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. -- Ernest Hemingway Clothing Feminists are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. -- Woody Allen It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching. -- St. Francis of Assisi Clothing A man's wife has more power over him than the state has. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson "It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it. -- David Starr Jordan Never practice two vices at once. -- Tallulah Bankhead We never reflect how pleasant it is to ask for nothing. -- Seneca Clothing Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men. -- Martin Luther King, Jr. "Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him." (Aldous Huxley) This book fills a much-needed gap. - Moses Hadas in a review Clothing Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so. - Bertrand Russell The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx I don't know which is more discouraging, literature or chickens. -- E. B. White I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. -- William Butler Yeats, from "He wishes for the cloths of heaven" A university professor set an examination question in which he asked what is the difference between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A+ to a student who answered: I don't know and Clothing "It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company." (George Washington) The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon. -- Joseph Heller, God Knows The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do. -- B. F. Skinner Clothing Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. -- Oscar Wilde Does anal retentive have a hyphen? -- Seen on a t-shirt The advice your son rejected is now being given by him to your grandson. A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education. -- George Bernard Shaw A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life. -- Christopher Morley Clothing For of all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these: "It might have been!" -- John Greenleaf Whittier You can close your eyes to reality, but not to memories. -- Stanislaw J. Lem "Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) Clothing "The biggest argument against democracy is a five minute discussion with the average voter." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid. -- Dorothy Parker Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going "Quit it." -- Jerry Seinfeld Joy is but the sign that creative emotion is fulfilling its purpose. -- Charles Du Bos Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. -- Woody Allen Clothing The optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity. -- Winston Churchill I read the book of Job last night - I don't think God comes out well in it. -- Virginia Woolf When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims of intact ones. -- Peter DeVries Clothing "To introduce something altogether new would mean to begin all over, to become ignorant again, and to run the old, old risk of failing to learn." (Isaac Asimov) "The face is the soul of the body." (Ludwig Wittgenstein) I hate mankind, for I think myself to be one of them, and I know how bad I am. -- Samuel Johnson The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten. -- Mark Twain The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity. -- Ambrose Bierce Clothing Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them tender. -- Mary Buckley 2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time. -- inside of a Pepsi cap Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy. Clothing "If you assume that there's no hope, you guarantee that there will be no hope. If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, there are opportunities to change things, there's a chance for you t "I am the lizard king. I can do anything." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) I will try to follow the advice that a university president once gave a prospective commencement speaker. "Think of yourself as the body at an Irish wake" he said. "They need you in order to have th However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my usual manner...sulking and nausea. -- Tom K. Ryan An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible. -- Alfred A. Knopf Clothing Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. -- Anonymous Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man. -- Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting married People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Aabye Kierkegaard Clothing One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love. -- Sophocles Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm. -- John F. Kennedy We always believe our first love is our last, and our last love our first. -- Anonymous "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom." (William Blake) "Posterity: you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it." (John Quincy Adams) Clothing When yer in a funk, people in love are a royal pain in the patookus. -- Portnoy, character in "Outland," comic strip by Berkely Breathed "We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones." (Andrew A. Rooney) Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else. -- George Bernard Shaw Clothing Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it. -- Josephus Daniels "Life is measured by the rapidity of change, the succession of influences that modify the being." (George Eliot) "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) Love is what happens to men and women who don't know each other. -- W. Somerset Maugham "The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Clothing It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) The only thing you take with you when you're gone is what you leave behind. -- John Allston Clothing Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right. -- Henry Ford I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house. -- Lewis Grizzard It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. -- Oscar Wilde Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back. -- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show The fantasy which serves as a support for the figure of the Stalinist Communist is therefore exactly the same as the fantasy which is at work in the Tom and Jerry cartoons. -- Slavoj Zizek Clothing Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together. -- Thomas Dekker Why did Nature create man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it pure ignorance? -- Holbrook Jackson Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window. -- Steve Bluestone Clothing
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