Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness.
-- Madame de Rieux "If it doesn't matter who wins or loses, then why do they keep score?" (Vince Lombardi) blah "If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves." (Thomas Alva Edison) Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
-- LaRouchefoucauld If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
-- Bob Edwards Organisations When yer in a funk, people in love are a royal pain in the patookus.
-- Portnoy, character in "Outland," comic strip by Berkely Breathed Love is like the measles. The older you get it, the worse the attack.
-- Mary Roberts Rhinehart I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
-- Katherine Cebrian Organisations
Despite the high cost of living it remains a popular item.
-- Anonymous The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.
-- Michael Levine, Lessons at the Halfway Point A person is not given integrity. It results from the relentless pursuit of honesty at all times.
-- Anon. Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
-- Virginia Woolf Organisations Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by
committee meetings.
-- George F. Will, journalist, political commentator, 1994 The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but you still have to mow it.
-- Anonymous The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free. Organisations
"What dies if freedom lives? What lives if freedom dies?" (Lindsay Anderson, British filmmaker, from if.... (1968) A small family is soon provided for.
-- English Proverb Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it;
whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Ogden Nash You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.
-- Dolly Parton Organisations I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-- Michael McShane Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the
truth.
- Sherlock Holmes Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Organisations
If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be any war.
-- Pentagon official, on why US military censored graphic footage from the Gulf War Better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall.
-- David Chambless A theory is something nobody believes, except the person who made it. An experiment is
something everybody believes, except the person who made it.
-- Albert Einstein, attributed Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
-- Alphonse Allais Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.
-- John-Paul Sartre Organisations Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken "Nothing has been purchased more dearly than the little bit of reason and sense of freedom which now constitutes our pride." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) May the road rise to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm
upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields and, until we meet again, may God hold you in
the palm Organisations
If your professor wrote it, it's as near to the truth as you ever need to get.
-- John Watson, University of Canterbury I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and
intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
- Galileo Galilei "I'm basically an optimist in life but this doesn't prevent me from deducing as a scientist that we are probably doomed." (Vladimir Chaloupka, physicist, University of Washington, regarding mankind's I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins A problem is a chance for you to do your best.
-- Buke Ellington Organisations The best defense is a good offense.
-- Anonymous Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-- Groucho Marx If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
-- Kingsley Amis Organisations
"I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough." (M. C. Escher) "Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at." (John Berger) "The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it." (Abbie Hoffman) Art consists of limitation. The most beautiful part of every picture is the frame.
-- G. K. Chesterton You can not apply mathematics as long as words still becloud reality.
-- Hermann Weyl Organisations Do not assume that she who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and
quiet words that sometimes do you good. Her life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that
remains fa Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window.
You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.
-- Jean Ke "Use what talents you possess; The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." (William Blake) Organisations
There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
-- George Santayana "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free." (Emma Lazarus) I must follow the people. Am I not their leader?
-- Benjamin Disraeli Organisations Do or do not. There is no try.
-- Yoda, character in the movie The Empire Strikes Back Realism is a corruption of reality.
-- Wallace Stevens Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp Organisations
No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
-- Honore de Balzac Beware you be not swallowed up in books! An ounce of love is worth a pound of knowledge.
-- John Wesley If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it.
-- H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life's Little Treasure Book, on wisdom "Now that we have everything we need, we discover that there is almost nothing that we have that we want." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) Many a man that could rule a hundherd millyon sthrangers with an ir'n hand is careful to take off
his shoes in the front hallway whin he comes home late at night.
-- Finley Peter Dunne, Mr. Dooley O Organisations Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give. -- Cass Daley No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in
love with him first.
-- Cesare Pavese You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
-- Richard Bach Organisations
Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed.
-- Hoshang N. Akhtar The less their ability, the more their conceit.
Ahad HaAm "These are days you'll remember." If you recall nothing else from your graduation ceremony,
remember you heard the New Jersey Governor quote from 10,000 Maniacs.
-- Christine Todd, NJ Governor, Whea Love is stronger than justice.
-- Sting "I praise loudly. I blame softly." (Catherine the Great) Organisations The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put
over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield Organisations
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that
no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
-- Paul Dirac "Teacher played hooky. Sent message: 'Receiving instruction. Enjoying myself thoroughly. See you next week.'" (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
-- H. L. Mencken Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.
-- Alvin Toffler "Don't let your ego get too close to your position, so that if your position gets shot down, your ego doesn't go with it." (Colin Powell) Organisations "The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize." (Robert Hughes) One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do
what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The
gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.
-- Thomas Arnold Bennet Organisations
"It is a curious thing that God learned Greek when he wished to turn author--and that he did not learn it better." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.
-- Channing Pollack Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright "If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way." (Mark Twain) Organisations All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
- Ambrose Bierce "That's the true sign. If the lover has not yet achieved his prize, his eyes will follow the woman, while she appears indifferent. But once he's gained his goal, it's the woman's eyes that follow him, He who receives an idea from me receives instruction for himself without lessening mine; as he
who lights his taper at mine receives light without darkening me.
-- Thomas Jefferson Organisations
