"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." (Albert Einstein) It's no credit to anyone to work to hard.
-- Ed Howe Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
-- George Jean Nathan your daughters marry men of substance: gypsies with two bears. "No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave." (Calvin Coolidge) Painting "If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there." (Sterling Holloway, voice of Chesire Cat, Alice in Wonderland) Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.
-- Ray Bandy I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but
all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
- Bill Hirst Painting
Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say "Don't trust anyone over 30."
-- Anonymous I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund. It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by
the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off!
-- Douglas Jerold, 1858 Ninety percent of everything is crap.
-- Theodore Sturgeon I am not young enough to know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde Painting "Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." (Edger Allen Poe) Golf is a good walk spoiled.
-- Mark Twain Wind is to fire like distance is to love; it extinguishes the small and enflames the great.
-- Anonymous Painting
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other
is ready.
-- Henry David Thoreau The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
-- Paula Poundstone I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget.
-- Adela Rogers St. John In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is
simply one of those things which happen from time to time.
-- Edward P. Tryon "I am a part of all that I have met." (Alfred Lord Tennyson, 1809-1892, English poet) Painting In the blithe days of honeymoon,
With Kate's allurements smitten,
I lov'd her late, I lov'd her soon,
And call'd her dearest kitten.
But now my kitten's grown a cat,
And cross like other wives.
"I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough." (M. C. Escher) My other wife is beautiful. Painting
A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world.
-- George Santayana These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
-- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995 Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
- Edward George Bulwer-Lytton If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants.
-- Isaac Newton "We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones." (Andrew A. Rooney) Painting By the time (the Leaning Tower of Pisa) was 10% built, everyone knew it would be a total
disaster. But the investment was so big they felt compelled to go on. Since its completion, it cost
a fortune Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.
-- General Douglas MacArthur The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the
betterment of life.
-- Henry Ford Painting
Life is not an easy matter.... You cannot live through it without falling into frustration and cynicism
unless you have before you a great idea which raises you above personal misery, above
weakness Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw. Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes The nourishment is palatable.
-- Millard Fillmore, dying words "It is neccessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live." (Alexander Dumas) Painting The only reward of virtue is virtue.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by
trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by l The more faithfully you listen to the voices within you, the better you will hear what is sounding
outside.
-- Dag Hammarskjold Painting
"When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.
-- The Beatles, The last lyric of their last song "Beauty awakens the soul to act." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.
-- John Cage A university professor set an examination question in which he asked what is the difference
between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A+ to a student who answered: I
don't know and Painting Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
- Will Durant Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
- Napoleon Bonaparte Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks Painting
He who awaits much can expect little.
-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of the dream." (Eleanor Roosevelt) blah "This is the hardest of all: to close the open hand out of love, and keep modest as a giver." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.
-- Virginia Woolf The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley Painting Silence is argument carried out by other means.
- ErnestoCheGuevara When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is
when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.
-- Marcel Achard Every man knows his follies and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
-- Josh Billings Painting
"To live is to dream and to die is to awaken." (Anonymous) May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry. -- Chekhov If your professor wrote it, it's as near to the truth as you ever need to get.
-- John Watson, University of Canterbury Painting "Hold the fort! I am coming!" (General William Tecumseh Sherman) A theory is something nobody believes, except the person who made it. An experiment is
something everybody believes, except the person who made it.
-- Albert Einstein, attributed It is the customary fate of new truths to begin as heresies and to end as superstitions.
-- Aldous Huxley Painting
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat
guy in the third row exists?
-- Woody Allen "Your children are not your children. They are sons and daughters of life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you, they belong not to you. You may gi When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
-- Ernest Hemingway Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it. "I am a part of all that I have met." (Alfred Lord Tennyson, 1809-1892, English poet) Painting "The most beautiful things in the world are the most useless, peacocks and lilies, for instance." (John Ruskin) Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. "In fact, most deaths are not tragic. Few people die because of a flaw in character, which is the essential element of tragedy. They just die." (John Chancellor, The News Business) Painting
"The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how
to make it interesting.
-- Milton Berle, when called to the microphone at the 2nd Annual Comedians Hal Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Cat's Cradle The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy
the waking hours much more.
-- Woody Allen There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called
marriage.
-- James Holt McGavran Painting "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) "We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones." (Andrew A. Rooney) Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?
-- The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Painting
The person who is slowest in making a promise is most faithful in its performance.
-- Jean-Jacques Rousseau The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault.
- Henry Kissinger Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
- Georg Lichtenberg Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. "Twelve magicians and two carnies have been shot dead doing the bullet catch. That's cool enough, but every night when we close our show with that trick and the loaded gun gets pointed in my face, it Painting We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
- Niels Bohr Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
-- Oscar Levant, to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee Guys are lucky because they get to grow mustaches. I wish I could. It's like having a little pet for
your face.
-- Anita Wise Painting
