It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
-- Woody Allen Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
-- Abraham Lincoln Is there life before death?
-- Belfast Graffito Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it.
-- Tom Robbins Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.
-- Alphonse Allais Military Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the
time by watching the second hand of a clock.
-- Ben Hecht His ignorance is encyclopedic
- Abba Eban "How wondrous familiar is a fool!" (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Military
"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and
science.
-- Albert Einstein "People who cease to believe in God or goodness altogether still believe in the devil. I don't know why. No, I do indeed know why. Evil is always possible. And goodness is eternally difficult." (Anne "Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) Age does not protect you from love but love to some extent protects you from age.
-- Jeanne Moreau Military Genius is 99 percent perspiration and 1 percent inspiration.
-- Thomas Edison Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
- Albert Giacometti (sculptor) The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines
staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you
ask th Military
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
-- Mark Twain Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte "He who speaks of what he knows not only works hard to portray his ignorance." (Joseph Muchemi) The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
-- Albert Einstein My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
-- Buddy Hackett Military The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!
-- Mark Russell What does not kill me makes me stronger.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Washing one's hands of the conflict between the powerful and the powerless means to side with
the powerful, not to be neutral.
-- Paulo Freire Military
Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the center of the universe. The
premise is wrong, but the navigation works. An incorrect model can be a useful tool.
-- Kelvin Throop I There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good
marriage
-- Martin Luther The less their ability, the more their conceit.
Ahad HaAm I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin "He who speaks of what he knows not only works hard to portray his ignorance." (Joseph Muchemi) Military Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when
people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and
blows up the bonfire.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind
her stands his wife.
-- Groucho Marx Military
"Boredom is a vital problem for the moralist, since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Multimedia? As far as I'm concerned, it's reading with the radio on!
-- Rory Bremner The gods too are fond of a joke.
-- Aristotle A beauty is a woman you notice; A charmer is one who notices you.
-- Adlai Stevenson "Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Military The optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity.
-- Winston Churchill The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
-- Quentin Crisp "One of the things about acting is it allows you to live other people's lives without having to pay the price. I've never been one of those actors who has touted myself as a fascinating human being. I Military
As for the virtuous poor, one can pity them, of course, but one cannot possibly admire them.
-- Oscar Wilde We can say 'Peace on Earth,' we can sing about it, preach about it or pray about it, but if we have
not internalized the mythology to make it happen inside us, then it will not be.
-- Betty Shabazz Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
-- Groucho Marx The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.
-- George Bernard Shaw "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) Military A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can
decide that nothing can be done.
-- Fred Allen Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on
a date.
-- Caroline Rhea But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
- Andrew Marvell Military
"'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!'" (Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass) What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry The last good thing written in C++ was the Pachelbel Canon.
-- Jerry Olson "A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you." (Bert Leston Taylor) My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
-- Christopher Morley Military Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
-- H. L. Mencken You will marry into an Indian tribe and become one big Hopi family. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
-- Albert Einstein Military
Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.
-- General Douglas MacArthur His ignorance is encyclopedic
- Abba Eban I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one
more letter she'd have to remember.
-- Shecky Greene Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
-- Anonymous The great art of life is sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain.
-- Lord Byron Military "Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) "He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." (Thomas Paine) He would make a lovely corpse.
- Charles Dickens Military
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
-- Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting
married A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.
-- Michael Winner Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
-- Pancho Villa, dying words Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd Military You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
-- Yogi Berra I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
- Frederick (II) the Great Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday
afternoon.
-- Susan Ertz Military
"The monster a child knows best and is most concerned with [is] the monster he feels or fears himself to be. " (Bruno Bettelheim, child psychologist) All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
-- Woody Allen Not much meat on her, but what's there is choice.
-- Spencer Tracy, about Katharine Hepburn Military "What is tolerance? -- it is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly -- that is the first law of nature." (Francois Marie Ar Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet
not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?
-- François de La Rouch "I have great faith in fools; My friends call it self-confidence." (Edger Allen Poe) Military
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
-- Michel de Montaigne The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
-- Mark Twain That's the nature of research--you don't know what in hell you're doing.
-- 'Doc' Edgerton Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
- Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat There is more to life than increasing its speed.
-- Gandhi Military If God created us in His image we have certainly returned the compliment.
-- Voltaire A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright Love, I find, is like singing. Everybody can do enough to satisfy themselves, though it may not
impress the neighbors as being very much.
-- Zora Neale Hurston Military
