Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry "I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real senten I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in
charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about.
-- Hen Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald A university professor set an examination question in which he asked what is the difference
between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A+ to a student who answered: I
don't know and Maps and Views It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember.
-- Eugene McCarthy Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
-- John Stuart Mill "The perception of beauty is a moral test." (Henry David Thoreau) Maps and Views
Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. "Death is only a launching into the region of the strange Untried; it is but the first salutation to the possibilities of the immense Remote, the Wild, the Watery, the Unshored..." (Herman Melville, If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English.
-- Wilfred Sheed The older one grows, the more one likes indecency.
-- Virginia Woolf In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz Maps and Views Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can
only read the title.
-- Virginia Woolf Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
- Jean-Paul Sartre Whoever is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort Maps and Views
I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
-- Will Rogers My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music.
-- Vladimir Nabokov When he first ran for office, he appealed to the voters: "I never stole anything in my life. All I ask
is a chance."
-- Anon. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
- Ian L. Fleming What we anticipate seldom occurs: but what we least expect generally happens.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Maps and Views People say "I want peace." If you remove I {ego}, and your want {desire}, you are left with peace.
-- Satya Sai Baba We must become the change we want to see.
-- Gandhi To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being.
-- Tom Robbins Maps and Views
"As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands... but English women only
hope to find in their butlers.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly.
-- Simeon Strunsky Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.
-- Samuel Butler Maps and Views "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man
will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.
-- Henry Ford The democratic theory is that if you accumulate enough ignorance at the polls, you produce
intelligence.
-- Philo Vance Maps and Views
"If you believe everything you read, you better not read." (Japanese Proverb) "It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it.
-- Shirley MacLaine "Fake is as old as the Eden tree." (George Orson Welles) Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
-- Albert Einstein Maps and Views Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
-- Albert Einstein When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
-- Helen Rowland Maps and Views
"Boredom is a vital problem for the moralist, since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) "God's creatures, great and small ... eat them one, eat them all." (John A. Simone Sr.) A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude.
-- Oscar Wilde It makes no difference who you vote for - the two parties are really one party representing four
percent of the people.
-- Gore Vidal "One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Maps and Views It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember.
-- Eugene McCarthy I believe that mink are raised for being turned into fur coats and if we didn't wear fur coats those
little animals would never have been born. So is it better not to have been born or to have lived We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
-- Decca Recording Company, rejecting the Beatles, 1962 Maps and Views
"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) He who laughs last didn't get it.
-- Helen Giangregorio Give me a museum and I'll fill it.
-- Pablo Picasso Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.
-- Alphonse Allais I would have made a good Pope.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President Maps and Views Do you not know, my son, with what little understanding the world is ruled?
-- Pope Julius III The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this
is true.
-- James Branch Cabell, The Silver Stallion "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) Maps and Views
"When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck." (George Sanders, suicide note) "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're
the boss."
-- Anonymous Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard Maps and Views Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-- George Saunders - last words Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau We think caged birds sing, when indeed they cry.
-- John Webster Maps and Views
I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think.
-- Socrates When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are
legislators.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
- Auric Goldfinger, in Goldfinger by Ian L. Fleming Age does not protect you from love but love to some extent protects you from age.
-- Jeanne Moreau "If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive." (Samuel Goldwyn) Maps and Views "I have no special gift; I am only passionately curious." (Albert Einstein) Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting someone else to do the work.
-- John G. Pollard A great deal of talent is lost to the world for want of a little courage. Every day sends to their
graves obscure men whom timidity prevented from making a first effort.
-- Sydney Smith Maps and Views
Luck is the residue of design.
- Branch Rickey - former owner of the Brooklyn Dodger Baseball Team "Every great institution is the lengthened shadow of a single man. His character determines the character of the organization." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the
second, "For my best friend."
-- Anonymous It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
-- Oscar Wilde I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
-- Sam Kinison Maps and Views "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." (Ambrose Redmoon) When one find's oneself in a hole of one's own making, it is a good time to examine the quality of
the workmanship.
-- John Renmerde "Politics is my hobby. Smut is my vocation." (Larry Flynt) Maps and Views
He who limps is still walking.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec If all men were brothers, would you let one marry your sister? Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
- Sir Winston Churchill When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his
cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that
Uncl There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to
be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson Maps and Views CAPITAL, n. The seat of misgovernment. That which provides the fire, the pot, the dinner, the
table and the knife and fork for the anarchist; the part of the repast that himself supplies is the
disg "Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same." (George Bernard Shaw) "... and then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." (Anais Nin) Maps and Views
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