Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
-- Oscar Levant, to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee "Never frighten a little man. He'll kill you." (Robert A. Heinlein) I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a
woman.
-- Virginia Woolf You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
- Sacha Guitry Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. Regions Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness.
-- Madame de Rieux Life is like a movie--since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the
bathroom in the middle of it.
-- Nick Mirov One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good
reputation.
-- Oscar Wilde Regions
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get
married.
-- Katharine Hepburn "If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." (Anatole France) "Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." (Blaise Pascal) LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the
influences under which he incurred the disorder... It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the
physician Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have
had any experience with them.
-- H. L. Mencken Regions Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to
take away.
- Antoine de Saint Exupery "When you resort to attacking the messenger and not the message, you have lost the debate." (Addison Whithecomb) "The biggest argument against democracy is a five minute discussion with the average voter." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) Regions
Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
-- M. C. Reed When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
-- Clarence Darrow Do or do not. There is no try.
-- Yoda, character in the movie The Empire Strikes Back A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
-- Mark Twain Regions A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. -- Guitry May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish wife. Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden Regions
What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
-- Robert Schuller The Church is an organism that grows best in an alien society.
-- C. Stacey Woods A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash To the ass, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation.
-- Latin Proverb "In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." (Andy Warhol) Regions "Have love for your friend up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your enemy some day; and hate your enemy up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your friend some day." (Ali bin When you are right, you cannot be too radical; When you are wrong, you cannot be too
conservative.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
-- Beverly Sills Regions
One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....
-- Robert Boynton All human actions are equivalent... and... all are on principle doomed...
-- Jean-Paul Sartre, "Being and Nothingness" "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) "I have an unfortunate personality." (George Orson Welles) Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
- Samuel Palmer Regions Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between.
-- David Letterman Art and science have their meeting point in method.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
-- Kin Hubbard Regions
Live out of your imagination, not your history.
-- Stephen Covey He who hesitates is a damned fool.
- Mae West We can never be sure that the opinion we are endeavoring to stifle is a false opinion; and if we
were sure, stifling it would be an evil still.
-- John Stuart Mill "What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does
not change his mind.
-- Leonardo da Vinci, Notebooks Regions Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
-- Lewis Grizzard Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to.
-- Shane Leslie The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too.
When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing
extraordinary Regions
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
- Honore de Balzac In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
-- Albert Einstein "If I were still a critic, I would loathe knowing the person I was writing about. There's enough of an incestuous relationship between subject and writer." (Manny Farber, American film theorist) We never live; we are always in the expectation of living.
-- Voltaire We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from
ourselves.
-- Tom Robbins Regions Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson.
-- Vernon Law The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal consistency of the women who
love me.
-- George Bernard Shaw I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
-- Anonymous Regions
"Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong." (Muhammad Ali) "Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." (George Bernard Shaw) Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add
up.
-- Anon This compact disc is made from analog masters recorded without noise reduction. Half the tracks,
in fact, were recorded in a dismal, cheap basement eight-track studio with puddles of water on
the fl If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.
-- Marcus Aurelius Regions The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
-- Quentin Crisp Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester "Transport of the mails, transport of the human voice, transport of flickering pictures--in this century as in others our highest accomplishments still have the single aim of bringing men together." Regions
"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." (Blaise Pascal) For I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me.
-- Winnie the Pooh, character from author A. A. Milne A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
-- Michel de Montaigne "I've just had eighteen straight whiskies. I think that's the record." (Dylan Thomas, final words) Love is blind -- marriage is the eye-opener.
-- Pauline Thomason Regions "Conforming is only acceptable when you conform with a nonconformist." (John A. Simone Jr.) I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy.
-- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't. -- Borge Regions
I'm not indecisive. Am I indecisive?
-- Jim Scheibel, mayor, St. Paul MN Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
- Benjamin Franklin "The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it." (Abbie Hoffman) Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking
campaign We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we
respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H. L. Mencken Regions "The purpose of Compulsory Education is to deprive the common people of their commonsense." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) "The purpose of Compulsory Education is to deprive the common people of their commonsense." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) The great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are going.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Regions
"People demand freedom only when they have no power." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) They will say you are on the wrong road, if it is your own.
-- Antonio Porchi The course of true love never did run smooth.
-- William Shakespeare "As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it." (Dick Cavett) "For how can one know color in perpetual green, and what good is warmth without cold to give it sweetness?" (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) Regions Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
-- Steven Wright The fate of love is that it always seems too little or too much.
-- Anonymous Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs Regions
