May you never leave your marriage alive. My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them. What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat
guy in the third row exists?
-- Woody Allen Thomas Jefferson--still surv...
-- John Adams, dying words Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because
we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, Events Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte Honorable, adj. Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary
to mention all members as honorable; as, ``the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.'
-- Bierce, A "Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Events
Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde "I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real senten "Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) "The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." (George Bernar I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
-- Fran Lebowitz Events "Like as the waves make towards the pebbl'd shore, so do our minutes, hasten to their end." (William Shakespeare) "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
-- Will Rogers Events
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman
is one who can find such a man.
-- Lana Turner "A true friend stabs you in the front." (Oscar Wilde) Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
-- B.F. Skinner "The evil that is in the world almost always comes of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding." (Albert Camus) I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
- Francois-Auguste Rodin (1840-1917), when asked how he managed to make his remarkable
statues Events A weed is no more than a flower in disguise.
-- James Lowell Man and wife make one fool. The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the
betterment of life.
-- Henry Ford Events
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." (Groucho Marx) A great deal of talent is lost to the world for want of a little courage. Every day sends to their
graves obscure men whom timidity prevented from making a first effort.
-- Sydney Smith Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
-- Helen Keller "All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." (Edger Allen Poe) Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings Events We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.
-- Wehrner von Braun I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
- Frederick (II) the Great ... it is certain that the real function of art is to increase our self-consciousness; to make us more
aware of what we are, and therefore of what the universe in which we live really is. And since
Events
You are educated when you have the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your
temper or self-confidence.
-- Robert Frost Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
- Will Durant Work is the curse of the drinking class.
-- Oscar Wilde Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd "Courageous, untroubled, mocking and violent--that is what Wisdom wants us to be. Wisdom is a woman, and loves only a warrior." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Events Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
- Benjamin Franklin If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the
faculty of laughter.
-- Joseph Addison The more we do, the more we can do; the more busy we are the more leisure we have.
-- William Hazlitt Events
He who hesitates is a damned fool.
- Mae West We look forward to the time when the power to love of will replace the love of power. Then will our
world know the blessings of peace.
-- William Gladstone Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window.
You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.
-- Jean Ke "Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
-- Milton Friedman Events I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) Events
"If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut." (Albert Einstein) As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
-- Proverbs 23:7 Give the people not hell, but hope and courage.
-- John Murray Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The
gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.
-- Thomas Arnold Bennet That government is best which governs least.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience, 1849 Events Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
-- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.
-- Lord Dewar When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life
of another.
-- Helen Keller Events
When Baby's cries grew hard to bear I popped him in the Frigidaire. I never would have done so if
I'd known that he'd be frozen stiff. My wife said, "George, I'm so unhappy! Our darling's now
comple "The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) "We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly." (Bill Mahe Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the
really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
-- Mark Twain These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
-- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995 Events Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.
-- George Bernard Shaw If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the
bureaucracy won't.
-- Hyman Rickover However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my usual manner...sulking and nausea.
-- Tom K. Ryan Events
Love me or hate me, but spare me your indifference.
-- Libbie Fudim With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.
-- Abraham Lincoln Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner "Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise." (Alice Walker) That's the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how obvious they've been
all along.
-- Madeleine L'Engle Events This book fills a much-needed gap.
- Moses Hadas in a review He didn't say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech.
-- Richard Darman, director of OMB, explaining why President Bush wasn't following up on his
campaign pledge that there would be When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
-- Anatole France Events
He who laughs last didn't get it.
-- Helen Giangregorio "Ninety percent of my salary I spent on booze and women ... and the other ten percent I wasted." (Tug McGraw, Major League Baseball pitcher) Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good
questions.
-- Woody Allen Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.
-- Mark Twain If a man is considered guilty for what goes on in his mind, give me the electric chair for all my
future crimes.
-- Prince Events Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "Education must have an end in view, for it is not an end in itself." (Sybil Marshall) "Do something for the joy of doing it and pray you won't be punished." (Sammy Cahn) Events
"I think all great innovations are built on rejections." (Louis-Ferdinand Céline) "Today was good. / Today was fun. / Tomorrow is another one." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
- H. G. Wells Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
-- Virginia Woolf Time is at once the most valuable and most perishable of all our possessions.
-- John Randolph Events The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pensées, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
-- Milton Friedman Elegance of language may not be in the power of all of us; but simplicity and straight forwardness
are. Write much as you would speak; speak as you think. If with your inferior, speak no coarser
tha Events
