I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one
more letter she'd have to remember.
-- Shecky Greene "Everyone is a bore to someone. That is unimportant. The thing to avoid is being a bore to oneself." (Gerald Brenan) Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add
up.
-- Anon Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous You can close your eyes to reality, but not to memories.
-- Stanislaw J. Lem Services The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, "Is there a meaning to music?" My
answer would be, "Yes." And "Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?" My answer
to that would be Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. Men have become the tools of their tools.
-- Henry David Thoreau Services
"Any existence deprived of freedom is a kind of death." (General Michel Aoun) Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it.
-- Tom Robbins The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill "Murder is the very bed-rock of our social institutions." (Octave Mirbeau, The Torture Garden) The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same
joke and still feel lonely.
-- T. S. Eliot Services I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think.
-- Socrates Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked
where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration.
-- D. H. Lawrence Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.
-- G. K. Chesterton Services
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
- Aristotle Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from the other animals....except weasels.
-- Homer Simpson, character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavours to live the life which
one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
-- Henry David Thoreau A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader.
Harry S. Truman Services That government is best which governs least.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience, 1849 My father was a minister. I had to make up for the lack of sin.
-- Milwuakee mayor, on why he became a politician "I'll tell you something: Luxury disgusts me." (Giorgio Armani) Services
"Does wisdom perhaps appear on the earth as a raven which is inspired by the smell of carrion?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "All women love the men they fear. All women kiss the hand that rules them." (Lionel Atwill) Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking
campaign When people have no other tyrant, their own public opinion becomes one.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton I would have made a good Pope.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President Services The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism
is the equal sharing of miseries.
-- Winston Churchill "Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." (Native American Proverb) "How is it that we never have time to do a job right, but we always have time to do it over?" (Anonymous) Services
Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie. I am about to--or I am going to--die; either expression is used.
-- Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, dying words Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.
-- Virginia Woolf The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow
extinction from apathy, indifference, and undernourishment.
-- Robert Hutchins, Great Books, 1954 I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.
-- Noel Coward Services "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) "As is our confidence, so is our capacity." (William Hazlitt) In the case of good books, the point is not to see how many of them you can get through, but how
many can get through to you.
-- Mortimer J. Adler Services
To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive, and the true success is to labour.
-- Robert L. Stevenson Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best
to become the best you are capable of becoming.
-- John R. Wooden, Practical Modern Basketball If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don't stand in her way. "A man must dream a long time in order to act with grandeur, and dreaming is nursed in darkness." (Jean Genet) "Hold a true friend with both your hands." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Services "Every now and then say, 'What the fu(c)k.' 'What the fu(c)k' gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future." (Curtis Armstrong, Risky Business, 1983) Once a boy becomes a man, he's a man all his life, but a woman is only sexy until she becomes
your wife.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does
not stop until you get into the office.
-- Robert Frost Services
Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.
-- John Heywood "I love to doubt as well as know." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) "It is neccessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live." (Alexander Dumas) I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how
to make it interesting.
-- Milton Berle, when called to the microphone at the 2nd Annual Comedians Hal "Sometimes I think it's another sign of the sad necessity of our crowded, lonely lives, an urgent hopeless reaching out to touch something real, a deep hunger for something authentic when everything s Services There are some things which cannot be learned quickly, and time, which is all we have, must be
paid heavily for their acquiring. They are the very simplest things and, because it takes a man's
life One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.
-- Virginia Woolf A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
-- Paul Valery Services
The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and
remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't
work and the "There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." (Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom) I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like
toxic waste.
-- David Bissonette You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax--tomorrow you'll be afraid to
cough.
-- Pearl Williams "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead, 1901-78) Services "Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise." (Alice Walker) Whining is not only graceless, but can be dangerous. It can alert a brute that a victim is in the
neighborhood.
-- Maya Angelou Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry Services
Whoever is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen.
-- Samuel Paterson May the road rise to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm
upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields and, until we meet again, may God hold you in
the palm "Friends are those people who know the words to the song in your heart and sing them back to you when you have forgotten the words." (Anonymous) His ignorance is encyclopedic
- Abba Eban Services To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.
-- Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume "How is it that we never have time to do a job right, but we always have time to do it over?" (Anonymous) For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: "It might have been!"
-- John Greenleaf Whittier Services
Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
-- Aldous Huxley It destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being.
-- Benjamin Disraeli "Ugliness is in a way superior to beauty because it lasts." (Serge Gainsbourg) How is it that little children are so intelligent and men so stupid? It must be education that does it.
-- Alexandre Dumas fils Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the majority is blissfully
ignorant.
--John Simon Services "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." (Bible, Proverbs 16:24) "Beauty awakens the soul to act." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve
them.
-- Robert Graves Services
Marriage is a rest period between romances. To write a good love letter, you ought to begin without knowing what you mean to say, and to
finish without knowing what you have written.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau "Where there's a marriage without love there will be love without marriage." (Benjamin Franklin) Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...and the only one that can be mass
produced with unskilled labor.
-- Wernher von Braun A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatever, and generally
stopping before it gets there.
-- Agnes Repplier Services Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of
responsibility at the other.
-- Ronald Reagan, Saturday Evening Post, 1965 Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to
vote for Colonel Sanders.
-- Bob Inglis, 1995 Education is an admirable thing, but nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
-- Oscar Wilde Services
