Every child is born a genius.
-- R. Buckminster Fuller your daughters marry men of substance: gypsies with two bears. We think caged birds sing, when indeed they cry.
-- John Webster Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the
first half.
Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881) Budget Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie. "Feeding is a very important ritual for me. I don't trust people who don't like to eat." (Gina Gershon) "If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." (Anatole France) Budget
The story of a love is not important - what is important is that one is capable of love. It is perhaps
the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity.
-- Helen Hayes You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald
spot.
-- Elayne Boosler Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
-- Rose Franken "Sometimes I think it's another sign of the sad necessity of our crowded, lonely lives, an urgent hopeless reaching out to touch something real, a deep hunger for something authentic when everything s My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it. Budget A witty saying proves nothing.
- Voltaire Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been
reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Depart Budget
The difference between a man who faces death for the sake of an idea and an imitator who goes
in search of martyrdom is that the former expresses his idea most fully in death while the latter
really Grow old with me! The best is yet to be!
-- Robert Browning "A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.
-- Samuel Butler He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
- H. H. Munro (Saki) Budget It ain't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.
-- Will Rogers Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in
accordance with the dictates of reason.
-- Oscar Wilde "I think all great innovations are built on rejections." (Louis-Ferdinand Céline) Budget
Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains or slavery? Forbid it,
Almighty God! I know not what course others may take but as for me; give me liberty or give me
de Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight.
-- Phyllis Diller "He who speaks of what he knows not only works hard to portray his ignorance." (Joseph Muchemi) "I have the terrible feeling that, because I am wearing a white beard and am sitting in the back of the theatre, you expect me to tell you the truth about something. These are the cheap seats, not Mou "Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously u Budget An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.
-- Robert A. Humphrey Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw Budget
"We always get bored with those whom we bore." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
-- Emiliano Zapata The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
-- Niels Bohr Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
-- Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting
married You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's
arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
-- Jonathan Carroll, Outside Budget For a male and female to live continuously together is...biologically speaking, an extremely
unnatural condition.
-- Robert Briffault Church is only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members.
-- William Temple "I fear we are not getting rid of God because we still believe in grammar." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Budget
The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.
-- Margo Kaufman The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.
-- Robert M. Pirsig May your wife be a witch who takes after her mother, and may you all live together in a one-room house. The whole art of teaching is only the art of awakening the natural curiosity of young minds for the
purpose of satisfying it afterwards.
-- Anatole France Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the
unpalatable.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith Budget Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
-- Marx Groucho, the film "Animal Crackers" After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely
pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous Budget
"Some people must go to extremes to get the world in balance for themselves. Some can't bear bright lights, so wherever they go they search for the dark; they turn the lights down, anything to sustain "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
-- Navaho saying I still believe in liberalism today as much as I ever did, but, oh, there was a happy time when I
believed in liberals...
-- G. K. Chesterton "Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Budget A good marriage is at least 80 percent good luck in finding the right person at the right time. The
rest is trust.
-- Nanette Newman, British actress If it weren't for marriage, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.
-- Anonymous "I run to see who has the most guts." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) Budget
We have drugs to make women speak, but none to keep them silent.
-- Anatole France I drink no more than a sponge.
-- Francis Rabelais, Works. Book i. Chap. v. Good judgement comes from experience, and experience--well, that comes from poor judgement.
-- Cousin Woodman Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
- Saint Augustine Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do.
-- Oscar Wilde Budget Of the seven dwarves, only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell us something about the
custom of shaving.
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
-- Thomas Jefferson Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all
I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going "Quit it."
-- Jerry Seinfeld Budget
The more we do, the more we can do; the more busy we are the more leisure we have.
-- William Hazlitt You can always amend a big plan, but you can never expand a little one. I don't believe in little
plans. I believe in plans big enough to meet a situation which we can't possibly foresee now.
-- Ha I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put
over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. -- James Holt McGavran the social sciences were for all those who had not yet decided what to do with their lives, and for
all those whose premature frustrations led them into the sterile alleys of confrontation.
-- Peter Budget Life - a sexually transmitted terminal condition.
-- Walter Prager Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to
do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.
-- Anonymous Laywers, I suppose, were children once.
-- Charles Lamb Budget
Thomas Jefferson--still surv...
-- John Adams, dying words Experience teaches only the teachable.
-- Aldous Huxley The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband. "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man's observation, not overturning
it.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Budget "The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties." (Oscar Wilde) What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat
guy in the third row exists?
-- Woody Allen The first duty of a lecturer: to hand you after an hour's discourse a nugget of pure truth to wrap up
between the pages of your notebooks, and keep on the mantlepiece forever.
-- Virginia Woolf Budget
Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.
-- Alvin Toffler Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who
can't read.
-- Frank Zappa Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the
unpalatable.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to
know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
- Clarence Darrow, There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From it springs the purest courtesy in the
outward behavior.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Budget Infatuation is when you think that he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger,
as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is
when you r blah bl "The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning, but without understanding." (Louis Brandeis) Whatever women do they must do it twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this
is not difficult.
-- Charlotte Whitton Budget
