A hippo does not have a sting in its tail, but a wise man would still rather be sat on by a bee.
-- Polish proverb If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
-- Jenny Weber "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
-- Charles Schultz Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an
inquest.
-- H. L. Mencken Animals "One will rarely err if extreme actions be ascribed to vanity, ordinary actions to habit, and mean actions to fear." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) Animals
The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
-- G. K. Chesterton I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but
all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
- Bill Hirst I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how
to make it interesting.
-- Milton Berle, when called to the microphone at the 2nd Annual Comedians Hal "When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "I know that God won't give me more trouble than I can handle ... but sometimes I wish he wouldn't trust me so much." (Mother Teresa) Animals The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pensées, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to
be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson A person should never be ashamed to own that he is wrong, which is but saying in other words
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
-- Alexander Pope Animals
"Is man merely a mistake of God's? Or God merely a mistake of man's?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester If all these sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised.
-- Dorothy Parker As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
-- Proverbs 23:7 "I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we've been voting for boobs
long enough."
-- Arizona senatorial candidate Claire Sargent, on women candidates Animals Do not assume that she who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and
quiet words that sometimes do you good. Her life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that
remains fa This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold
of a hammer.
-- Will Rogers For I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me.
-- Winnie the Pooh, character from author A. A. Milne Animals
Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things!
-- Tom Lehrer Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been.
-- Wayne Gretzky Ridicule is generally made use of to laugh men out of virtue and good sense, by attacking
everything praiseworthy in human life.
-- Joseph Addison Most people are more comfortable with old problems than with new solutions.
-- Anonymous Animals "Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something." (Plato, 427 BC-348) "The monster a child knows best and is most concerned with [is] the monster he feels or fears himself to be. " (Bruno Bettelheim, child psychologist) My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music.
-- Vladimir Nabokov Animals
No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.
-- Channing Pollack Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.
-- Anonymous The child is the father of the man.
-- William Wordsworth "I met someone on the street who said wasn't it great that we're going to have a movie star for president, that it was so Pop, and (laughs) when you think about it like that, it is great, it's so Amer blah "Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then be trusted with the government of others? Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him? Animals For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.
-- Clifton Fadiman Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window.
You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.
-- Jean Ke Animals
When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
-- Anatole France "To make a living, craftiness is better than learnedness." (Pierre-Augustin de Beaumarchais) "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." (Paul Boese) God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if
he finds her.
-- Benjamin Tillett "Wise men learn more from fools, than fools from the wise." (Anonymous) Animals A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age.
-- Meat Loaf, from the song "Wasted Youth" on the album Bat Out of Hell II He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
-- Anonymous Everywhere I go, I'm asked if the universities stifle writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle
enough of them.
-- Flannery O'Connor Animals
Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of
opportunity.
-- George Bernard Shaw "How is it that we never have time to do a job right, but we always have time to do it over?" (Anonymous) If the government wants people to respect the law, it should set a better example.
-- Anon. Choose a wife by your ear than your eye.
-- Thomas Fuller, 1732 Tauzin backs term limits -- But he thinks it's a bad idea.
-- Headline, story in the New Orleans Times-Picayune, Feb 20, 1995 Animals "When thou art at Rome, do as they do at Rome." (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, 1547-1616) Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
-- Virginia Woolf, Bernard, in The Waves, 1931; repr. 1943, p. 189 Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of
our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.
-- John Adams Animals
We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind
her stands his wife.
-- Groucho Marx Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
-- Abraham Lincoln The more I know about people, the better I like my dog.
-- Mark Twain Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Wellman died unmarried four years ago The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
- Von Clausewitz Animals "The biggest argument against democracy is a five minute discussion with the average voter." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit." (Aristotle) It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.
-- Pierre Augustin de Beaumarchais Animals
It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.
-- Jane Austen Property may be destroyed and money may lose its purchasing power; but, character, health,
knowledge and good judgement will always be in demand under all conditions.
-- Roger Babson Men have become the tools of their tools.
-- Henry David Thoreau "Have love for your friend up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your enemy some day; and hate your enemy up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your friend some day." (Ali bin Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright Animals All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
- Ambrose Bierce "You believe that flag burning shows disrespect towards those who have fought to preserve our freedoms. Punishing protestors shows an even more profound disrespect for the ideals that these people die Art and science have their meeting point in method.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Animals
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to
know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
- Clarence Darrow, Always behave like a duck--keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil
underneath.
-- Jacob Braude "God is dead: but considering the state Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Joyful Wisdom) Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-
proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe
is Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from
history.
-- George Bernard Shaw Animals You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room
enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
-- Fred Allen Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
-- M. C. Reed Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
-- Colin Greene Animals
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
-- Lucille S. Harper Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
- the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life All you need is love.
-- The Beatles, song title Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue.
-- Hermione Gingold Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber Animals You can not apply mathematics as long as words still becloud reality.
-- Hermann Weyl Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
- Ambrose Bierce Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever. Animals
