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"In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I just want what every married woman wants, someone besides her husband to sleep with.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show We do not remember days; we remember moments.
-- Anonymous Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands... but English women only
hope to find in their butlers.
-- W. Somerset Maugham One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture and, if
possible, speak a few reasonable words.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Hardware A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
-- Anonymous There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
-- Oscar Wilde For the memory of love is sweet, though the love itself were in vain. And what I have lost of
pleasure, assuage what I find of pain.
-- Lyster Hardware
We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.
-- Buck Henry "If you light a man a fire, he will be warm for a day; if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life." (Anonymous) "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
- Sir Winston Churchill Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz Hardware I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me
is another matter.
- Sir Winston Churchill Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her
have her own way.
-- Anonymous Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to
do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.
-- Anonymous Hardware
blah "Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together." (Vincent van Gogh) Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken Repentance is not so much remorse for what we have done as the fear of the consequences.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld, Maxims, 1665 People say "I want peace." If you remove I {ego}, and your want {desire}, you are left with peace.
-- Satya Sai Baba The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
-- Albert Einstein Hardware "A conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) I'm not dumb, I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
-- Calvin Hardware
Anyone nit-picking enough to write a letter of correction to an editor doubtless deserves the error
that provoked it.
-- Alvin Toffler Women: If they're not turning down your proposals for marriage, they're accusing you of
suspicious behavior in the women's lingerie changing room.
-- Cliff Clavin, character on "Cheers", U.S. Televi "A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
-- George Bernard Shaw I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and
members of the Senate.
-- Dan Quayle, Former Vice-President Hardware The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does
not stop until you get into the office.
-- Robert Frost "Posterity: you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it." (John Quincy Adams) "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." (Viktor E. Frankl) Hardware
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-- Will Rogers "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet." (Andy Warhol) If it were weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
-- Rodney Dangerfield Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
- George Burns I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
-- Wilson Mizner Hardware "There cannot be a God because, if there were one, I would not believe that I was not He." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
-- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board Hardware
Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the
top.
-- Ed Abbey I hate mankind, for I think myself to be one of them, and I know how bad I am.
-- Samuel Johnson "Shared joys make a friend, not shared sufferings." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.
-- G. K. Chesterton Most convicted felons are just people who were not taken to museums or Broadway musicals as
children.
-- Libby Gelman-Waxner Hardware Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards.
-- Benjamin Franklin Hardware
I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that
M&Ms really do melt in your hand...
-- Peter Oakley Keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.
-- Roger Babson "Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, great minds discuss ideas." (Anonymous) Whatever you are, be a good one.
-- Abraham Lincoln Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes. Hardware In a cat's eyes, all things belong to cats.
-- English Proverb "One of the things about acting is it allows you to live other people's lives without having to pay the price. I've never been one of those actors who has touted myself as a fascinating human being. I The executive exists to make sensible exceptions to general rules.
-- Elting E. Morison Hardware
It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is
the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be
cr "Mothers spend a lifetime excising from their sons the influence of their fathers." (Arthur Lotti) By working faithfully eight hours a day, you might eventually get to be a boss and work twelve
hours a day.
-- ROBERT FROST Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
- Will Durant The paradox is really the pathos of intellectual life and just as only great souls are exposed to
passions it is only the great thinker who is exposed to what I call paradoxes, which are . . .
grand Hardware There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
-- Steven Wright The democratic theory is that if you accumulate enough ignorance at the polls, you produce
intelligence.
-- Philo Vance He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
-- Anonymous Hardware
When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an
inquest.
-- H. L. Mencken "The meeting of two personalites is like the contact of two chemical substances. If there is any reaction, both are transformed." (Carl Gustav Jung) For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: "It might have been!"
-- John Greenleaf Whittier Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing
matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.
-- Amy Bloom Hardware "Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget." (G. Randolf) A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
-- Charles Pierce Hardware
"Who is more foolish? The fool or the fool that follows it?" (Alec Guinness) Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing
popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
-- Dave Barry In the spider-web of facts, many a truth is strangled.
-- Paul Eldridge The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines
staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you
ask th "If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change." (John A. Simone Sr.) Hardware Dogma is the sacrifice of wisdom to consistency.
- Lewis Perelman It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is
the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be
cr However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my usual manner...sulking and nausea.
-- Tom K. Ryan Hardware
Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license. Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through
self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
-- Helen Keller Goodbye, Everybody!
-- Hart Crane, poet, who committed suicide by jumping overboard during a steamship voyage. In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson
articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are
apparently based The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
-- Albert Einstein Hardware What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crow Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
-- Karl Wallenda Hardware
