The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the
false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.
-- Salvador Dali It is a known fact that men are practical, hardheaded realists, in contrast to women, who are
romantic dreamers and actually believe that estrogenic skin cream must do something or they
couldn't cha "I think all great innovations are built on rejections." (Louis-Ferdinand Céline) Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet
not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?
-- François de La Rouch UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Plumbing He who awaits much can expect little.
-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez To realize that you do not understand is a virtue;
Not to realize that you do not understand is a defect.
--Lao-Tzu, "Tao Teh Ching" Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken Plumbing
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
-- Buckminster Why did Nature create man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it
pure ignorance?
-- Holbrook Jackson Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.
-- Vince Lombardi Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars
-- Les Brown The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde Plumbing "That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves." (Thomas Jefferson) Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
-- Abraham Lincoln Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.
-- Emily Dickinson Plumbing
Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any
antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
-- Alfred Hitchcock "Mistakes are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.
-- Alfred A. Knopf Not everything that can be counted counts; and not everything that counts can be counted.
-- Albert Einstein Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde Plumbing "A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized." (Fred Allen) I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
-- Elvis Presley Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower, U.S. President Plumbing
I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the
marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.
-- Bette Davis Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 "Paper should be edible, nutritious. Inks used for printing or writing should have delicious flavors. Magazines or newspapers read at breakfast should be eaten for lunch. Instead of throwing one's mai A human being is a part of the whole, called by us Universe, a part limited in time and space. He
experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest--a kind of
optic If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
-- Lily Tomlin Plumbing I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch.
-- Gilda Radner "To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend." (Jacques Derrida, French 'deconstructionist') I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin Plumbing
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
- Saint Augustine Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche "Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same." (George Bernard Shaw) Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can
only read the title.
-- Virginia Woolf Learn to laugh at your troubles and you'll never run out of things to laugh at.
-- Lyn Karol Plumbing Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte No one finds life worth living; he must make it worth living.
-- Anon. Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
-- Finley Peter Dunne Plumbing
In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes.
-- Elizabeth Ashley Love is an attempt to change a piece of the dream-world into reality.
-- Theodor Reik "Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper." (Larry Flynt) A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.
-- Edward Abbey A good marriage is at least 80 percent good luck in finding the right person at the right time. The
rest is trust.
-- Nanette Newman, British actress Plumbing "He who cannot give anything away cannot feel anything either." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) blah "An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that she may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion." ( Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight.
-- Phyllis Diller Plumbing
Per cubic inch, your current TV set is perhaps the dumbest appliance in your home (and I'm not
even talking about the programs).
-- Nicholas Negroponte A thing is not necessarily true because badly uttered, nor false because spoken magnificently.
-- St. Augustine Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
- Rudyard Kipling When we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already
were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Plumbing To die for an idea is to set a rather high price on conjecture.
-- Anatole France We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from
ourselves.
-- Tom Robbins Our elections are free - it's in the results where eventually we pay.
-- Bill Stern Plumbing
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline
luggage.
-- Mark Russell Children are a poor man's riches.
-- English proverb Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology.
-- John Tudor Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter.
-- N. D. Stice I could prove God statistically.
-- George Gallup Plumbing "In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." (Andy Warhol) "Goodwill is the only asset that competition cannot undersell or destroy." (Mrshall Field, businessman and philanthropist) "A true friend stabs you in the front." (Oscar Wilde) Plumbing
"The happy people are failures because they are on such good terms with themselves they don't give a damn." (Agatha Christie) To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.
-- Lao Tzu "Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." (Edger Allen Poe) Health food makes me sick.
-- Calvin Trillin Genius has somewhat of the infantine; But of the childish not a touch or taint.
-- Robert Browning Plumbing I don't feel good.
-- Luther Burbank, dying words It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are
difficult.
-- Seneca "Avoid providing material for the drama that is always stretched tight between parents and children; it uses up much of the children's strength and wastes the love of the elders, which acts and warms Plumbing
Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man. The telephone company is urging people to *please* not use the telephone unless it is absolutely
necessary in order to keep the lines open for emergency personnel. We'll be right back after this
bre When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you
don't know. He knows now that he doesn't know. Last year, he didn't know that.
-- Bill Parcels, New Engla then the world 's mine oyster
-- William Shakespeare, The Merry Wives of Windsor Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an
inquest.
-- H. L. Mencken Plumbing You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
-- Beverly Sills Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones.
-- Phillip Brooks "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." (Mark Twain) Plumbing
"Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." (Oscar Wilde, his last recorded words) "Life is measured by the rapidity of change, the succession of influences that modify the being." (George Eliot) "I've just had eighteen straight whiskies. I think that's the record." (Dylan Thomas, final words) Truth must necessarily be stranger than fiction, for fiction is the creation of the human mind and
therefore congenial to it.
-- G. K. Chesterton Plumbing "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead, 1901-78) Here's to you and here's to me,
and I hope we never disagree.
But, if that should ever be,
to HELL with you, here's to ME!
-- Anonymous Ridicule is generally made use of to laugh men out of virtue and good sense, by attacking
everything praiseworthy in human life.
-- Joseph Addison Plumbing
