"If I were still a critic, I would loathe knowing the person I was writing about. There's enough of an incestuous relationship between subject and writer." (Manny Farber, American film theorist) The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
- George Bernard Shaw Once a boy becomes a man, he's a man all his life, but a woman is only sexy until she becomes
your wife.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show You can not apply mathematics as long as words still becloud reality.
-- Hermann Weyl A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
-- Kin Hubbard Tullow The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
-- George Bernard Shaw Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.
-- King George V For the memory of love is sweet, though the love itself were in vain. And what I have lost of
pleasure, assuage what I find of pain.
-- Lyster Tullow
"Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) Stung by the splendour of a sudden thought.
-- Robert Browning The average person thinks he isn't.
- Father Larry Lorenzoni When women go wrong, men go right after them.
-- Mae West Marriage is a rest period between romances. Tullow "One may sometimes tell a lie, but the grimace that accompanies it tells the truth." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.
-- Al Gore, U.S. Vice President For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt Tullow
This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but hurled with great force.
-- Dorothy Parker Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw. A multiple personality is in a certain sense normal.
-- George H. Mead blah "It is a grand mistake to think of being great without goodness and I pronounce it as certain that there was never a truly great man that was not at the same time truly virtuous." (Benjamin Fran All courage is a form of constancy. It is always himself that a coward abandons first. After this all
other betrayals come.
-- Cormac McCarthy Tullow "The things we admire in men, kindness and generosity, openness, honesty, understanding and feeling are the concomitants of failure in our system. And those traits we detest, sharpness, greed, acquisi Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet
not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?
-- François de La Rouch I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
- Francois-Auguste Rodin (1840-1917), when asked how he managed to make his remarkable
statues Tullow
blah "A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything.
-- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.
-- Virginia Woolf I just want what every married woman wants, someone besides her husband to sleep with.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it
is accepted as being self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer Tullow Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.
-- Vince Lombardi Per cubic inch, your current TV set is perhaps the dumbest appliance in your home (and I'm not
even talking about the programs).
-- Nicholas Negroponte May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish wife. Tullow
When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.
-- Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin, 1973 "We're an embarrasment to college graduates across America." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) "If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) "Boredom is a vital problem for the moralist, since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her
have her own way.
-- Anonymous Tullow We love because it's the only true adventure.
-- Nikki Giovanni Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. -- PJ O'Rourke "...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes) Tullow
UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show If a man does his best, what else is there?
- General George S. Patton "In every gathering of thirteen, expect one guest will turn out to be a Judas." (Aleister Crowley) I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy.
-- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board Tullow "The masses are far more likely to believe a big lie than several small ones." (Adolf Hitler) Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
- Albert Giacometti (sculptor) When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are
legislators.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Tullow
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take
her off his hands.
-- Sacha Guitry Such is life.
-- Ned Kelly, Last words, before being hung at Old Melbourne Gaol History repeats itself; that's one of the things that's wrong with history.
-- Clarence Darrow If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?
-- Harry Shearer Tullow After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely
pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent "A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life.
-- Christopher Morley Tullow
The better part of one's life consists of his friendships.
-- Abraham Lincoln The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same
joke and still feel lonely.
-- T. S. Eliot It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed.
They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.
-- John Hogan, Commonwealth The community stagnates without the impulse of the individual. The impulse dies away without
the sympathy of the community.
-- William James Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
-- Steven Wright Tullow I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
-- Will Rogers For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: "It might have been!"
-- John Greenleaf Whittier A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
-- Navaho saying Tullow
"Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give. -- Cass Daley "The brighter you are, the more you have to learn." (Don Herold) "Conform and be dull." (J. Frank Doble) Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
-- Milton Friedman Tullow I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
-- Gore Vidal If a man is considered guilty for what goes on in his mind, give me the electric chair for all my
future crimes.
-- Prince The honest poor can sometimes forget poverty. The honest rich can never forget it.
-- G. K. Chesterton Tullow
"My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." (Oscar Wilde, his last recorded words) Matters of religion should never be matters of controversy. We neither argue with a lover about
his taste, not condemn him, if we are just, for knowing so human a passion.
-- George Santayana Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon
them.
-- Anonymous An understanding heart is everything is a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One
looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our
human "If you want a thing done well, do it yourself." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Tullow Better watch out that you won't become a television set in your next life.
--Loesje I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
-- Gore Vidal Tullow
Art and science have their meeting point in method.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton "The great aim of education is not knowledge but action." (Herbert Spencer) You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
-- Yogi Berra Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson.
-- Vernon Law Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.
-- Mae West Tullow Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
- Benjamin Franklin Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie. The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
-- Ambrose Bierce Tullow
