The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort Such is life.
-- Ned Kelly, Last words, before being hung at Old Melbourne Gaol I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.... This is an ex-parrot.
-- John Cleese, Monty Python, British comedy television show The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and only
way that the mediocre and vile can be transformed, and (c) doing that makes it that. We waste
time "Man is a strange animal. He generally cannot read the handwriting on the wall until his back is up against it." (Adlai Stevenson) Carron Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
-- Helen Keller "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom." (William Blake) An understanding heart is everything is a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One
looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our
human Carron
The Churches must learn humility as well as teach it.
-- George Bernard Shaw, St. Joan When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
-- Hunter S. Thompson Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing
matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.
-- Amy Bloom Teaching is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a losttradition.
-- Jacques Barzun Carron I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for
half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live.
-- Joan Borysenko I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? -- Phyllis Diller Carron
We have only one person to blame, and that's each other.
-- Barry Beck, New York Ranger, on who started a fight furing a hockey game The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book. I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!
-- Woody Allen MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two
slaves, making in all, two.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Every major horror of history was committed in the name of an altruistic motive.
-- Ayn Rand Carron Grove giveth and Gates taketh away.
- Bob Metcalfe (inventor of Ethernet) on the trend of hardware speedups not being able to keep
up with software demands You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every
morning and say, "How's the President?"
-- Will Rogers Carron
Love is friendship set on fire.
- Jeremy Taylor As for the virtuous poor, one can pity them, of course, but one cannot possibly admire them.
-- Oscar Wilde "Bread feeds the body, indeed, but flowers feed also the soul." (The Prophet Mohammad) Teach a parrot the terms "supply and demand" and you've got an economist.
-- Thomas Carlyle If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavours to live the life which
one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
-- Henry David Thoreau Carron "I think people resist freedom because they're afraid of the unknown. But it's ironic....That unknown was once very well known. It's where are souls belong....The only solution is to confront them--co If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.
-- Chekhov Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Carron
Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose.
-- F. M. Knowles When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws. "Death is always and under all circumstances a tragedy, for if it is not, then it means that life itself has become one." (Theodore Roosevelt) Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Live truth instead of professing it.
-- Elbert Hubbard Carron "A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car." (Kenneth Tynan) "I met someone on the street who said wasn't it great that we're going to have a movie star for president, that it was so Pop, and (laughs) when you think about it like that, it is great, it's so Amer You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres Carron
Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW The coziness between church and state is good for the state and bad for the church.
-- G. K. Chesterton America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
-- Bobcat Goldthwait The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but you still have to mow it.
-- Anonymous "Everywhere one seeks to produce meaning, to make the world signify, to render it visible. We are not, however, in danger of lacking meaning; quite the contrary, we are gorged with meaning and it is k Carron "I couldn't find the sports car of my dreams, so I built it myself." (Dr. Ferdinand Porsche) Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus "Of all mankind the great poet is the equable man." (Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, 1855) Carron
I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund. We need the iron qualities that go with true manhood. We need the positive virtues of resolution,
of courage, of indomitable will, of power to do without shrinking the rough work that must always
be When women go wrong, men go right after them.
-- Mae West Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein If a thing is worth doing at all, it is worth doing badly.
-- Gustav Holst, on amateur music-making Carron Always do right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
-- Mark Twain A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland You can always amend a big plan, but you can never expand a little one. I don't believe in little
plans. I believe in plans big enough to meet a situation which we can't possibly foresee now.
-- Ha Carron
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. "The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none." (Thomas Carlyle, 1795-1881) To decide, to be at the level of choice, is to take responsibility for your life and to be in control of
your life.
-- Abbie M. Dale The great advantage of being in a rut is that when one is in a rut, one knows exactly where one
is.
-- Arnold Bennett Carron Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
-- Robert Frost Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards.
-- Benjamin Franklin "There is no such thing as a person that nothing has happened to, and each person's story is as different as his fingertips." (Elsa Lanchester) Carron
"Think where mans glory most begins and ends, and say my glory was I had such friends." (William Butler Yeats) Each of us has a spark of life inside us, and our highest endeavor ought to be to set off that spark
in one another.
-- Kenny Ausubel Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes Carron "Any existence deprived of freedom is a kind of death." (General Michel Aoun) We love because it's the only true adventure.
-- Nikki Giovanni Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
-- Anonymous Carron
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
- Mark Twain The multitude is always in the wrong.
-- Wentworth Dillon, Earl of Roscommon, 1684 "Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily." (Napoleon Bonaparte) The person who is slowest in making a promise is most faithful in its performance.
-- Jean-Jacques Rousseau Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when
people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw Carron Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter.
-- N. D. Stice Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
- Edward George Bulwer-Lytton This is the fourth?
-- Thomas Jefferson, dying words Carron
Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
- General George Patton "What is the difference between exploring and being lost?" (Dan Eldon, photojournalist) By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you
will become a philosopher.
-- Socrates "Marriage excuses no one the freak's roll-call." (Joe Orton, What the Butler Saw) Carron Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
-- Oscar Wilde Now is the time for all good men to come to.
-- Walt Kelly Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through
self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
-- Helen Keller Carron
