"Crime like death is not confined to the old and withered alone. The youngest and fairest are too often its chosen victims." (Charles Dickens, 1812-70, Oliver Twist) I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
-- Walt Disney If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams "Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck." (George Sanders, suicide note) I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
-- Dorothy Parker News and Media "Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking." (H. Jackson Brown (Jr.) There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats.
-- Albert Schweitzer A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take
her off his hands.
-- Sacha Guitry News and Media
"One can do without people but one has need of a friend." (Chinese Proverb) Women and Cats will do as they please. Men and dogs had better get used to it.
-- Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love, Lazarus Long If it weren't for marriage, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.
-- Anonymous "Every act of violence increases the recruitment of terrorists. Iraq has been turned into a base of terror." (Noam Chomsky, from The Toronto Star, March 23, 2004) The important thing is not to stop questioning.
-- Albert Einstein News and Media "I love to doubt as well as know." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) I would have made a good Pope.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President A straight line is the shortest in morals as in mathematics.
-- Maria Edgeworth News and Media
"If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library." (Frank Zappa) We haven't the money, so we've got to think.
-- Lord Rutherford What's another word for "Thesaurus?"
-- Steven Wright Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the
second, "For my best friend."
-- Anonymous "To make a living, craftiness is better than learnedness." (Pierre-Augustin de Beaumarchais) News and Media Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with
the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals.
-- Cynthia Heimel "Ugliness is in a way superior to beauty because it lasts." (Serge Gainsbourg) Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology.
-- John Tudor News and Media
To expect defeat is nine-tenths of defeat itself.
-- Francis Crawford When one is trying to do something beyond his known powers it is useless to seek the approval
of friends. Friends are at their best in moments of defeat.
-- Henry Miller Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from
history.
-- George Bernard Shaw Politics have no relation to morals.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli Love is what happens to men and women who don't know each other.
-- W. Somerset Maugham News and Media One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do
what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
-- Red Buttons Beauty as we feel it is something indescribable; what it is or what it means can never be said.
-- George Santayana News and Media
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an
automobile.
-- Billy Sunday A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world.
-- George Santayana Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork
picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.
-- Tom Stoppard He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
- H. H. Munro (Saki) "Courageous, untroubled, mocking and violent--that is what Wisdom wants us to be. Wisdom is a woman, and loves only a warrior." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) News and Media If you are going through hell, keep going.
- Sir Winston Churchill "Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." (Blaise Pascal) Marriage is a rest period between romances. News and Media
You can always amend a big plan, but you can never expand a little one. I don't believe in little
plans. I believe in plans big enough to meet a situation which we can't possibly foresee now.
-- Ha Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the
second, "For my best friend."
-- Anonymous Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.
-- Judith Viorst "Love is always a stranger in the house of avarice." (Andreas Capellanus) I like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign.
-- Mae West News and Media Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. --H.L. Mencken "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." (Oscar Wilde, his last recorded words) When a man takes an oath, Meg, he's holding his ownself in his own hands. Like water. And if he
opens his fingers then- he needn't hope to find himself again.
-- Robert Bolt from A Man For All Seas News and Media
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
-- Lucille S. Harper "Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational." (Charles Schultz) "A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool." (William Shakespeare) We see the brightness of a new page where everything yet can happen.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke, Book of Hours In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
-- Adlai Stevenson News and Media Half of the American people never read a newspaper.
Half never voted for President.
One hopes it is the same half.
-- Gore Vidal There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's
being off the network.
-- Guy Almes The only thing you will ever be able to say in the so-called 'social' sciences is: "some do, some
don't."
-- Ernest Rutherford News and Media
"Babies are necessary to grown-ups. A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities. In a world that is cutting down its trees to build highways, losing its eart We live at a time when man believes himself fabulously capable of creation, but he does not
know what to create.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset Dishonor will not trouble me, once I am dead.
-- Euripides "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker News and Media Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
-- Johnny Carson "Now that we have everything we need, we discover that there is almost nothing that we have that we want." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) News and Media
Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and
hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in
Heaven.
-- P. J I don't feel good.
-- Luther Burbank, dying words "I run to see who has the most guts." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) My religion consists of a humble admiration of the unlimitable superior who reveals Himself in the
slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble minds. That deeply emotional
convi "And on the seventh day, God stepped back and said 'There is my creation, perfect in every way ... oh, damn it, I left pot all over the place. Now they'll think I want them to smoke it. Now I have to News and Media Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise.
-- Samuel Johnson The world has achieved brilliance without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and
ethical infants.
-- General Omar Bradley Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford News and Media
"If you assume that there's no hope, you guarantee that there will be no hope. If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, there are opportunities to change things, there's a chance for you t It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
-- Mark Twain Now comes the mystery.
-- Henry Ward Beecher, dying words, March 8, 1887 I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
- Steven Wright The better part of one's life consists of his friendships.
-- Abraham Lincoln News and Media The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.
-- Paul Valery To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
-- Ghandi Oregon Democratic Senate candidate Tom Bruggere, in describing his support for
comprehensive health care during a candidates' forum, said he supported "erection-to-
resurrection" coverage. He later a News and Media
Art consists of limitation. The most beautiful part of every picture is the frame.
-- G. K. Chesterton Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
-- Josh Billings "He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever." (Chinese Proverb) A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world.
-- George Santayana "Life is a great surprise. I don't see why death should not be an even greater one." (Vladimir Nabokov) News and Media The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with
the wish to teach himself.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton "The happy people are failures because they are on such good terms with themselves they don't give a damn." (Agatha Christie) My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
-- Buddy Hackett News and Media
