Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license. Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been
reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Depart A witty saying proves nothing.
- Voltaire Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any
antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
-- Alfred Hitchcock Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. Employment Each of us has a spark of life inside us, and our highest endeavor ought to be to set off that spark
in one another.
-- Kenny Ausubel Half of the American people never read a newspaper.
Half never voted for President.
One hopes it is the same half.
-- Gore Vidal I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund. Employment
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence. I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
-- Carol Leifer To decide, to be at the level of choice, is to take responsibility for your life and to be in control of
your life.
-- Abbie M. Dale "Failure is not an option!" (Ed Harris, as Gene Kranz, Apollo 13) Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the
moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future
generations Employment The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains.The superior teacher demonstrates. The
great teacher inspires.
-- William Arthur Ward I would have made a good Pope.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President To the ass, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation.
-- Latin Proverb Employment
All over Washington today, the politicians and the power brokers are happy. In fact, if you listen
closely, you can hear the sound of champagne corks popping.
-- Paul Jacob, Term Limits Executive Di "The last Christian died on the cross." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "No one ever owns his youth or the women he loves." (Pedro Almodóvar, Live Flesh) You can not apply mathematics as long as words still becloud reality.
-- Hermann Weyl The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
-- Niels Bohr Employment Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass.
-- French Proverb Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before
marriage, which is never advisable.
-- Oscar Wilde Employment
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
- Frank Zappa 2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time.
-- inside of a Pepsi cap If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
- Mario Andretti Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
-- Carl Friedrich Gauss, when informed that his wife was dying Employment Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.
-- Albert Camus Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.
-- Dr. Benjamin Spock, American pediatrician, address to new parents "The only things worth learning are the things you learn after you know it all." (Harry S. Truman) Employment
"Furious activity is no substitute for understanding." (H. H. Williams) "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can.
-- Danny Kaye "Everywhere one seeks to produce meaning, to make the world signify, to render it visible. We are not, however, in danger of lacking meaning; quite the contrary, we are gorged with meaning and it is k "There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." (Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom) Employment Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
-- George Washington If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard Employment
Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. "Goodwill is the only asset that competition cannot undersell or destroy." (Mrshall Field, businessman and philanthropist) Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
-- Michael Leunig Success is just a matter of attitude.
-- Darcy E. Gibbons Not much meat on her, but what's there is choice.
-- Spencer Tracy, about Katharine Hepburn Employment Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree
to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. you only need a heart full
of grac We can do no great things; only small things with great love.
-- Mother Teresa The worth of the state, in the long run, is the worth of the individuals composing it.
-- John Stuart Mill Employment
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
- Friedrich Nietzsche The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the
betterment of life.
-- Henry Ford Live truth instead of professing it.
-- Elbert Hubbard Washing one's hands of the conflict between the powerful and the powerless means to side with
the powerful, not to be neutral.
-- Paulo Freire "If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) Employment If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings.
-- Lisa Moriyama "The bite of conscience, like the bite of a dog into a stone, is a stupidity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
-- George Bernard Shaw Employment
A narcissist is someone better-looking than you are.
-- Gore Vidal "All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) "Those who feel certainty are stupid and those with any imagination or understanding are filled with doubt and indecision." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) "Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism." (Dave Barry) Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
-- Aldous Huxley Employment "There is no sin except stupidity." (Oscar Wilde) Tear open packet, unfold and use.
-- Directions on moist towelette package Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.
-- Herbert Hoover Employment
More light!
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, dying words Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.
-- King George V The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law.
-- Yiddish Proverb Cliches should be avoided like the plague.
-- Anon. Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
-- Groucho Marx Employment Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.
-- Alphonse Allais A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no
religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear
of In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
-- Albert Einstein Employment
Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
-- Buddha Guys are lucky because they get to grow mustaches. I wish I could. It's like having a little pet for
your face.
-- Anita Wise There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
-- George Santayana In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken Well if this is the wrong number, why did you answer it?
-- James Thurber Employment He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
-- Bertolt Brecht It is absurd to divide people into good or bad. People are either charming or tedious.
-- Oscar Wilde Wind is to fire like distance is to love; it extinguishes the small and enflames the great.
-- Anonymous Employment
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
- John D. Rockefeller All television is children's television.
-- Richard P. Adler Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.
-- Thomas Dekker Whoever is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell Employment This is the fourth?
-- Thomas Jefferson, dying words Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.
-- Salvador Dali MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two
slaves, making in all, two.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Employment
