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There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
- Frank Zappa Friends need not agree in everything or go always together, or have no comparable other
friendships of the same intimacy. On the contrary, in friendship union is more about ideal things:
and in that "We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police." (Jeff Marder) When women go wrong, men go right after them.
-- Mae West Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.
-- Salvador Dali Firhouse "Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same." (George Bernard Shaw) He who hesitates is a damned fool.
- Mae West Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
-- George Burns Firhouse
Nothing says lovin' like marrying your cousin!
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show "There is no sin except stupidity." (Oscar Wilde) Your every voter, as surely as your chief magistrate, exercises a public trust.
-- Grover Cleveland "All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." (Edger Allen Poe) "Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) Firhouse "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) That's the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how obvious they've been
all along.
-- Madeleine L'Engle The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him.
-- Cher Firhouse
Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson.
-- Vernon Law The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.
-- Ellen Hubbard I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
- Francois-Auguste Rodin (1840-1917), when asked how he managed to make his remarkable
statues Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau Firhouse "Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same." (George Bernard Shaw) Men are strong only so long as they represent a strong idea. They become powerless when they
oppose it.
-- Sigmund Freud Better to die ten thousand deaths than wound my honor.
-- Joseph Addison Firhouse
Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.
-- David Starr Jordan A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
-- John Ciardi What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
-- Robert Schuller Love is the dawn of marriage, and marriage is the sunset of love.
-- French saying "Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) Firhouse A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary.
-- Thomas Carruthers I didn't accept it. I received it.
-- Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to President Reagan, explaining the $1000 in cash and
two watches he was given by two Japanese journalists after he hel This is the fourth?
-- Thomas Jefferson, dying words Firhouse
All science is concerned with the relationship of cause and effect. Each scientific discovery
increases man's ability to predict the consequences of his actions and thus his ability to control
futur All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
- Ambrose Bierce blah "Ability wins us the esteem of the true men; luck that of the people." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
-- Mark Twain The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
-- Josh Billings Firhouse My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
-- Robert Frost All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his.
-- Oscar Wilde Firhouse
Icky icky icky icky fKANG zoop-boing n zowzyin...
-- The Knights who so recently said "Nee!", Monty Python, British comedy television show Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
-- Marx Groucho, the film "Animal Crackers" blah bla "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough." (Albert Einstein) I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.
-- Oscar Wilde I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
-- W. C. Fields Firhouse I worship the quicksand he walks in.
- Art Buchwald For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-
knowing.
- Henry Louis Mencken I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Firhouse
I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence.
-- Doug MacLeod "One may sometimes tell a lie, but the grimace that accompanies it tells the truth." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal consistency of the women who
love me.
-- George Bernard Shaw "What is tolerance? -- it is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly -- that is the first law of nature." (Francois Marie Ar Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein Firhouse To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it more fit for its
prime function of looking forward.
-- Margaret Fairless Barber My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in
bed with her.
-- Lenny Bruce "Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) Firhouse
Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley
Temple could do it at the age of four.
-- Katharine Hepburn "It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what other men say in whole books--what other men do not say in whole books." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols) War is a profession by which a man cannot live honorably; an employment by which the soldier, if
he would reap any profit, is obliged to be false, rapacious, and cruel.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli Health food makes me sick.
-- Calvin Trillin "The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) Firhouse 2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time.
-- inside of a Pepsi cap Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
-- P. J. O'Rourke When women go wrong, men go right after them.
-- Mae West Firhouse
There is only one kind of love, but there are a thousand imitations.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.
-- Walter Savage Landor The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the
first half.
Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881) Seek the lofty by reading, hearing and seeing great work at some moment every day.
-- Thornton Wilder "He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." (Thomas Paine) Firhouse If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.
-- Maya Angelou If other people are going to talk, conversation becomes impossible.
-- James McNeill Whistler A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house.
-- Moliere Firhouse
Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever. "The sickness of our times for me has been just this damn thing that everything has been getting smaller and smaller and less and less important, that the romantic spirit has dried up, that there is n Creativity is the sudden cessation of stupidity.
-- Edward H. Land Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another
hanging on to his coattails.
-- H. L. Mencken The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines
staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you
ask th Firhouse "Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all." (Oscar Wilde) "Drugs have done a lot of good. A lot of good songs have been written. 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. 'Dark Side of the Moon?' 100 dead kids. At least that many were conceived by people listening Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
-- George Jean Nathan Firhouse
The fantasy which serves as a support for the figure of the Stalinist Communist is therefore
exactly the same as the fantasy which is at work in the Tom and Jerry cartoons.
-- Slavoj Zizek Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only
make $500,000.
-- Pete Incaviglia, baseball player, 1990 There are no days in life so memorable as those which vibrated to some stroke of the
imagination.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Never judge a book by its movie.
-- J. W. Eagan Firhouse "I met someone on the street who said wasn't it great that we're going to have a movie star for president, that it was so Pop, and (laughs) when you think about it like that, it is great, it's so Amer "Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil) "The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none." (Thomas Carlyle, 1795-1881) Firhouse
