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Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Epperson's law:
When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at. I will try to follow the advice that a university president once gave a prospective commencement
speaker. "Think of yourself as the body at an Irish wake" he said. "They need you in order to have
th "Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) Howth "What dies if freedom lives? What lives if freedom dies?" (Lindsay Anderson, British filmmaker, from if.... (1968) The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the
chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
- unknown The paradox is really the pathos of intellectual life and just as only great souls are exposed to
passions it is only the great thinker who is exposed to what I call paradoxes, which are . . .
grand Howth
"Whether it is a black cat or a white cat, as long as it can catch the rat, it is a good cat." (Deng Xiao Ping) You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
- Gilbert Keith Chesterton This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold
of a hammer.
-- Will Rogers Each of us has a spark of life inside us, and our highest endeavor ought to be to set off that spark
in one another.
-- Kenny Ausubel Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins.
-- Sioux Indian Prayer Howth We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
-- Aristotle Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
-- Carl Gustav Jung "Avoid providing material for the drama that is always stretched tight between parents and children; it uses up much of the children's strength and wastes the love of the elders, which acts and warms Howth
"One can do without people but one has need of a friend." (Chinese Proverb) Courage is the price that Love exacts for granting peace.
-- Amelia Earhart Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
-- H. L. Mencken These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
-- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995 I'm not indecisive. Am I indecisive?
-- Jim Scheibel, mayor, St. Paul MN Howth "Of all mankind the great poet is the equable man." (Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, 1855) Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson.
-- Vernon Law It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince Howth
"Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) Experience is the name every one gives his mistakes.
-- Elbert Hubbard Of the seven dwarves, only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell us something about the
custom of shaving.
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
- William Jennings Bryan "The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked. 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'" (Lewi Howth In the case of good books, the point is not to see how many of them you can get through, but how
many can get through to you.
-- Mortimer J. Adler blah "Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure." (Thomas Alva Edison) Thought is action in rehearsal.
-- Sigmund Freud Howth
"Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at." (John Berger) Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.
-- Alvin Toffler "True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost." (Charles Caleb Colton) I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin Howth Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit. Man and wife make one fool. "Plato was a bore." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Howth
It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.
-- Alec Bourne, A Doctor's Creed The worth of the state, in the long run, is the worth of the individuals composing it.
-- John Stuart Mill "What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to a human soul." (Joseph Addison) Age does not protect you from love but love to some extent protects you from age.
-- Jeanne Moreau We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.
-- Wehrner von Braun Howth A White House well filled, a little peanut field well tilled, and a wife who will go to the Bronx are
great riches.
-- Poor Jimmy's Almanac Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
-- Lily Tomlin He who knows nothing, knows nothing. But he who knows he knows nothing knows something. And he who knows someone whose friend's wife's brother knows nothing, he knows something. Or something like that Howth
A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 - 1944) The older one grows, the more one likes indecency.
-- Virginia Woolf Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.
-- Oliver Herford I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Howth The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind
woman.
-- S. T. Coleridge The worth of the state, in the long run, is the worth of the individuals composing it.
-- John Stuart Mill The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
-- Mark Twain Howth
When you've spent half your political life dealing with humdrum issues like the environment... it's
exciting to have a real crisis on your hands.
-- Margaret Thatcher, on the Falklands Conflict Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
-- Stephen Leacock The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. Teaching is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a losttradition.
-- Jacques Barzun Howth If you can't convince them, confuse them.
-- Harry S. Truman Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her
have her own way.
-- Anonymous Better watch out that you won't become a television set in your next life.
--Loesje Howth
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
- definition of happiness by John F. Kennedy He who receives an idea from me receives instruction for himself without lessening mine; as he
who lights his taper at mine receives light without darkening me.
-- Thomas Jefferson Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them
down people's throats.
-- Howard Aiken "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet." (Mae West) "I heard the old, old, men say 'all that's beautiful drifts away, like the waters.'" (William Butler Yeats) Howth Knowledge is the intellectual manipulation of carefully verified observations.
-- Sigmund Freud Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
-- Anonymous "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) Howth
"The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) "What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." Love is only the game that is not called on account of darkness.
-- M. Hirschfield "Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences." (Isadora Duncan) Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd Howth Ninety percent of the game is half mental.
-- Yogi Berra If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don't stand in her way. "You know that being an American is more than a matter of where your parents came from. It is a belief that all men are created free and equal and that everyone deserves an even break." (Harry S. Tru Howth
If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.
-- Al Bernstein "Every act of violence increases the recruitment of terrorists. Iraq has been turned into a base of terror." (Noam Chomsky, from The Toronto Star, March 23, 2004) "Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments." (Anonymous) We have only one person to blame, and that's each other.
-- Barry Beck, New York Ranger, on who started a fight furing a hockey game Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner Howth "If I were still a critic, I would loathe knowing the person I was writing about. There's enough of an incestuous relationship between subject and writer." (Manny Farber, American film theorist) "It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what other men say in whole books--what other men do not say in whole books." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols) I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins Howth
