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My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) I shall return.
-- General Douglas MacArthur Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?
- H. M. Warner, founder of Warner Brothers, in 1927 "The bite of conscience, like the bite of a dog into a stone, is a stupidity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Transport I don't mind if you don't like my manners. I don't like them myself. They're pretty bad. I grieve over
them on long winter evenings.
-- Humphrey Bogart to Lauren Bacall, in "The Big Sleep" "If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat." (Mark Twain) The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde Transport
"The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." (George Bernar He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
- Abraham Lincoln Never moon a werewolf.
-- Mike Binder "For how can one know color in perpetual green, and what good is warmth without cold to give it sweetness?" (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper Transport A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune.
-- Anonymous The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde "All our best men are laughed at in this nightmare land." (Jack Keroac) Transport
"Use what talents you possess; The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." (William Blake) He who knows nothing, knows nothing. But he who knows he knows nothing knows something. And he who knows someone whose friend's wife's brother knows nothing, he knows something. Or something like that Tauzin backs term limits -- But he thinks it's a bad idea.
-- Headline, story in the New Orleans Times-Picayune, Feb 20, 1995 "Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him." (Aldous Huxley) "A thing of beauty is a joy forever." (John Keats) Transport Love is only the game that is not called on account of darkness.
-- M. Hirschfield To heck with marrying a girl who makes biscuits like her mother--I want to marry one who makes dough like her father. Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
-- Lewis Grizzard Transport
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put
over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but
all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
- Bill Hirst "Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) Transport blah "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) There is only one kind of love, but there are a thousand imitations.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld Do or do not. There is no try.
-- Yoda, character in the movie The Empire Strikes Back Transport
Change before you have to.
-- Jack Welch Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can.
-- Danny Kaye She felt in italics and thought in capitals.
-- Henry James I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno Laywers, I suppose, were children once.
-- Charles Lamb Transport "Does wisdom perhaps appear on the earth as a raven which is inspired by the smell of carrion?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) A witty saying proves nothing.
- Voltaire Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
-- Gail Godwin Transport
"The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom." (William Blake) We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. -- H.L. Mencken Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
-- Oscar Wilde Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop.
-- Anonymous Propel, propel, propel your craft softly down liquid solution. Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically,
ecstatically, Existence is simply illusion.
-- Fred Rogers, parody of "Row, row, row your boa Transport Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.
-- Anonymous A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There
are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's
reall Truth often suffers more by the heat of its defenders than the arguments of its opposers.
-- William Penn Transport
For a male and female to live continuously together is...biologically speaking, an extremely
unnatural condition.
-- Robert Briffault If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four. If still boring, then eight. Then sixteen. Then thirty-two. Eventually one discovers that it is not boring at all." (John Cage) Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the
source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity,
ign When you are right, you cannot be too radical; When you are wrong, you cannot be too
conservative.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like
what you are getting.
-- Anonymous Transport If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it.
-- H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life's Little Treasure Book, on wisdom Destiny is not a matter of chance; but a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, It is a
thing to be acheived.
-- William Jennings Bryant Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are
capable of being.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Transport
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because
we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that
can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.
-- George Bernard Shaw "He who cannot give anything away cannot feel anything either." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of
the other person.
-- Mark Twain Transport Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.
-- Judith Viorst Considering the flames and intolerance, shouldn't USENET be spelled ABUSENET?
-- Michael Meissner Many a man has finally succeeded only because he has failed after repeated efforts. If he had
never met defeat he would never have known any great victory.
-- Orison Swett Marden Transport
blah "Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then be trusted with the government of others? Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him? Health food makes me sick.
-- Calvin Trillin Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
-- Igor Stravinsky We have been friends together in sunshine and in shade.
-- Caroline Norton "Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers." (Socrates) Transport Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
-- Mark Twain Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
-- Anon. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Transport
No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.
-- Channing Pollack "When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost." (Billy Graham) I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including:
* Both of your socks should always be the same color
* Or they should at least both be fairly dark
-- Dave Barry "Education must have an end in view, for it is not an end in itself." (Sybil Marshall) I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat
people.
-- Ed Bluestone Transport "Some people wear their heart up on their sleeve. I wear mine underneath my right pant leg, strapped to my boot." (Ani Difranco) Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
-- Aldous Huxley Grad school is the snooze button on the clock-radio of life.
-- John Rogers, comedian (who holds a graduate degree in physics) Transport
No one finds life worth living; he must make it worth living.
-- Anon. "Don't let your ego get too close to your position, so that if your position gets shot down, your ego doesn't go with it." (Colin Powell) "Don't let your ego get too close to your position, so that if your position gets shot down, your ego doesn't go with it." (Colin Powell) "No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave." (Calvin Coolidge) "The act of policing is, in order to punish less often, to punish more severely." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Transport "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." (Thomas Jefferson) blah "Each friend represents a world in us; a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only in meeting them that a new world is born." (Anais Nin) Good friends are good for your health.
-- Irwin Sarason Transport
