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He who laughs last didn't get it.
-- Helen Giangregorio "The great aim of education is not knowledge but action." (Herbert Spencer) Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-
proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe
is The older one grows, the more one likes indecency.
-- Virginia Woolf Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo... Maam You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
-- Richard Bach "Ugliness is in a way superior to beauty because it lasts." (Serge Gainsbourg) For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.
-- Clifton Fadiman Maam
In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update
would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every
computer that th "The last Christian died on the cross." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Plato was a bore." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
-- Hector Louis Berlioz A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
- Paul Erdos Maam Love is friendship set on fire.
- Jeremy Taylor Ninety percent of everything is crap.
-- Theodore Sturgeon A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Mae West Maam
What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
-- Robert Schuller I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
-- Katherine Cebrian The best reason I can think of for not running for President of the United States is that you have
to shave twice a day.
-- Adlai Stevenson Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together....
-- Carl Zwanzig Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you
get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a
Maam "Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills." (Minna Antrim) "A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) For I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me.
-- Winnie the Pooh, character from author A. A. Milne Maam
Nothing that was worthy in the past departs; no truth or goodness realized by man ever dies, or
can die.
-- Thomas Carlyle Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Life - a sexually transmitted terminal condition.
-- Walter Prager Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. "The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves." (William Hazlitt) Maam The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the
chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
- unknown Such is life.
-- Ned Kelly, Last words, before being hung at Old Melbourne Gaol You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.
-- Dolly Parton Maam
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
-- Aldous Huxley "Life is a great surprise. I don't see why death should not be an even greater one." (Vladimir Nabokov) There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
-- Oscar Wilde What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.
-- Alanis Morissette, singer, 1995 In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others.
-- André Maurois Maam It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
-- Oscar Wilde The voice of the intellect is a soft one, but it does not rest till it has gained a hearing.
-- Sigmund Freud All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.
-- Edgar Allan Poe Maam
It is most unwise for people in love to marry.
-- George Bernard Shaw The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage. "Every great institution is the lengthened shadow of a single man. His character determines the character of the organization." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) "Shared joys make a friend, not shared sufferings." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) It was a day like this Marco Polo left for China. What are your plans for today?
--Loesje Maam "Conform and be dull." (J. Frank Doble) Look not mournfully into the Past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the Present. It is
thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy Future, without fear, and with a manly heart.
-- Henry Wadsworth Lo Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. Maam
"Fake is as old as the Eden tree." (George Orson Welles) Every child is born a genius.
-- R. Buckminster Fuller Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away.
-- Mary Alice Messenger Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. A dollar saved is a quarter earned.
-- John Ciardi Maam A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
-- G. K. Chesterton In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.
-- Thomas Jefferson Never moon a werewolf.
-- Mike Binder Maam
It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.
-- Alec Bourne, A Doctor's Creed It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.
-- St. Francis of Assisi The coziness between church and state is good for the state and bad for the church.
-- G. K. Chesterton I still live.
-- Daniel Webster, dying words Usenet is like Tetris for people who still remember how to read.
-- Button from the Computer Museum, Boston, MA Maam We must become the change we want to see.
-- Gandhi "An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal ailment of all republics." (Plutarch) Chance is always powerful. - Let your hook be always cast; in the pool where you least expect it,
there will be a fish.
-- Ovid Maam
"The overman ... Who has organized the chaos of his passions, given style to his character, and become creative. Aware of life's terrors, he affirms life without resentment." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietz University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
- Henry Kissinger Here's to you and here's to me,
and I hope we never disagree.
But, if that should ever be,
to HELL with you, here's to ME!
-- Anonymous We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report.
-- Louis Nel, Deputy Minister of Information, South Africa What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
-- Robert Schuller Maam "Death solves all problems--no man, no problem." (Josef Stalin) I would have made a good Pope.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President "Great spirits have always faced voilent protest from mediocre minds." (Albert Einstein) Maam
If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.
-- Al Bernstein No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
-- Honore de Balzac A problem is a chance for you to do your best.
-- Buke Ellington "In married life three is company and two is none." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes
unpunished.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Maam "There cannot be a God because, if there were one, I would not believe that I was not He." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The fate of love is that it always seems too little or too much.
-- Anonymous blah "An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that she may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion." ( Maam
Some birds aren't meant to be caged, their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away,
the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up, does rejoice. I guess I just miss my friend. Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away.
-- Mary Alice Messenger You can always amend a big plan, but you can never expand a little one. I don't believe in little
plans. I believe in plans big enough to meet a situation which we can't possibly foresee now.
-- Ha "Courageous, untroubled, mocking and violent--that is what Wisdom wants us to be. Wisdom is a woman, and loves only a warrior." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes
unpunished.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Maam The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
-- Kin Hubbard Vote for the man who promises least. He'll be the least disappointing.
-- Bernard Baruch When you're away, I'm restless, lonely
Wretched, bored, dejected; only
here's the rub, my darling dear,
I feel the same when you are here.
-- Samuel Hoffenstein Maam
