Nobody ever died of laughter.
-- Max Beerbohm The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
-- Niels Bohr I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible.
-- Margaret Mead Infatuation is when you think that he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger,
as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is
when you r Health Insurance "Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget." (G. Randolf) "College: two hundred people reading same book. An obvious mistake. Two hundred people can read two hundred books." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.
-- Otto von Bismarck Health Insurance
"Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something." (Plato, 427 BC-348) "If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive." (Samuel Goldwyn) Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
-- B.F. Skinner I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence.
-- Doug MacLeod "No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous." (Henry B. Adams) Health Insurance "Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes." (Oscar Wilde) "Never frighten a little man. He'll kill you." (Robert A. Heinlein) Education is an admirable thing, but nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
-- Oscar Wilde Health Insurance
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
-- Aristotle There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!
-- Calvin "Common sense and education are highly compatible; in fact, neither is worth much without the other." (Donald G. Smith) Why doesn't she like me? Is it my hair, my overbite, the fact that I've worn the same shirt and
shorts for the last four years?
-- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated tele The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
- Lucille S. Harper Health Insurance When you're away, I'm restless, lonely
Wretched, bored, dejected; only
here's the rub, my darling dear,
I feel the same when you are here.
-- Samuel Hoffenstein We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
-- Will Rogers "People drag their progeny around with them like a ball and chain, like some terrible deadweight that hinders their every move - and that, as often as not, effectively winds up killing them." (Michel Health Insurance
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
- e e cummings No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
- William Jennings Bryan "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) I don't know anything about luck. I've never banked on it, and I'm afraid of people who do. Luck to
me is something else; hard work and realizing what is opportunity and what isn't.
-- Lucille Ball "Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of food." (George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman) Health Insurance Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.
-- George Orwell Marry in haste, repent in leisure.
-- Tilney "The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Health Insurance
When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his
cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that
Uncl Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and
blows up the bonfire.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crow Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
-- Oscar Wilde, dying words Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot Health Insurance "If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there." (Sterling Holloway, voice of Chesire Cat, Alice in Wonderland) The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be
feasible.
- A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper prop It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
- Aristotle Health Insurance
"I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you and education." (Wilson Mizner) Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and
illiterate sport fishermen.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Anything too stupid to be said, is sung.
-- Voltaire In marriage, the bridge gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains! Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
- Jean-Paul Sartre Health Insurance "Our lives are repetitious shams--every single day a simulacrum of the previous day. So for Man, he is out to pepper his daily activities with different things--he's fighting against boredom." (Matth Live out of your imagination, not your history.
-- Stephen Covey I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
- e e cummings Health Insurance
Goodbye, Everybody!
-- Hart Crane, poet, who committed suicide by jumping overboard during a steamship voyage. Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with
the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals.
-- Cynthia Heimel There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a
natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.
-- Lord Dewar "Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time." (E. B. White) Health Insurance "I was a total loner, not by self-design. I just didn't know what the hell to say to people. I was so shy. I used to stammer and lisp and dribble at the mouth." (Sir Anthony Hopkins, on his youth) Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.
-- Al Gore, U.S. Vice President "Man is a strange animal. He generally cannot read the handwriting on the wall until his back is up against it." (Adlai Stevenson) Health Insurance
"Hold a true friend with both your hands." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Only positive consequences encourage good future performances.
-- Kenneth H. Blanchard Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit. My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
-- Buddy Hackett Live TV died in the late 1950s, electronic bulletin boards came along in the mid-1980s, meaning
there was about a 25-year gap when it was difficult to put your foot in your mouth and have
people all Health Insurance I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.
-- Mother Teresa "If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change." (John A. Simone Sr.) Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem.
-- John Galsworthy Health Insurance
Well if this is the wrong number, why did you answer it?
-- James Thurber Nothing is beneath you if it is in the direction of your life.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson The time is always right to do what is right.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. Life is like a movie--since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the
bathroom in the middle of it.
-- Nick Mirov "My daughter has never forgiven me. for what, I don't know, because for years, she won't speak to me. She blackens my name in the press and makes me think abortion is an excellent idea." (Klaus Kinsk Health Insurance In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson
articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are
apparently based "By seeing the seed of failure in every success, we remain humble. By seeing the seed of success in every failure we remain hopeful." (Mel Ziegler, founder of Banana Republic) Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances
continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the
distance Health Insurance
Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc
jockey is not allowed to talk.
-- Fran Lebowitz Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.
-- Samuel Johnson "A man who flies from his fear may find he has only taken a shortcut to meet it." (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien) Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing
popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
-- Dave Barry To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.
-- Karen Sunde Health Insurance With the catching end the pleasures of the chase.
-- Abraham Lincoln Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
-- Michael Leunig Health Insurance
"Fear is the dark room where the Devil develops his negatives." (Gary Busey) His ignorance is encyclopedic
- Abba Eban Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
- Irving Kristol My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her. The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx Health Insurance I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
-- Edward Chilton If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
-- Voltaire There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you
yourself have altered.
-- Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom Health Insurance
