Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit. I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all
the time. That would be hypocrisy.
-- Oscar Wilde Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things!
-- Tom Lehrer When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of
the world.
- George Washington Carver Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy. Waterville Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
-- Wynn Catlin, also attributed to Will Rogers I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt Waterville
I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been.
-- Wayne Gretzky This isn't right, this isn't even wrong.
- Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper If a man is considered guilty for what goes on in his mind, give me the electric chair for all my
future crimes.
-- Prince It is a known fact that men are practical, hardheaded realists, in contrast to women, who are
romantic dreamers and actually believe that estrogenic skin cream must do something or they
couldn't cha "Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking." (H. Jackson Brown (Jr.) Waterville "This is the first age that's paid much attention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one." (Arthur C. Clarke) If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model.
Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush...
-- Dawn French "And on the seventh day, God stepped back and said 'There is my creation, perfect in every way ... oh, damn it, I left pot all over the place. Now they'll think I want them to smoke it. Now I have to Waterville
"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." (George Bernard Shaw) Conversation, fastidious Goddess, loves blood better than brick, and feasts most subtly on the
human will.
-- Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
-- G. K. Chesterton May you grow so rich your widow's second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid. Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over." Waterville I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-- Will Rogers Friends applaud, the Comedy is over.
-- Ludwig von Beethoven, dying words I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain
and bought jewelry.
-- Rita Rudner Waterville
"I praise loudly. I blame softly." (Catherine the Great) Better to die ten thousand deaths than wound my honor.
-- Joseph Addison Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
- Ambrose Bierce Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. To expect defeat is nine-tenths of defeat itself.
-- Francis Crawford Waterville I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked
me in the cellar.
-- Anonymous The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
-- Kin Hubbard Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
-- H. L. Mencken Waterville
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW We make our friends; we make our enemies; but God makes our next door neighbour.
-- G. K. Chesterton Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
- Saint Augustine There is nothing that can be said by mathematical symbols and relations which cannot also be
said by words. The converse, however, is false. Much that can be and is said by words cannot
successfully Waterville "Things do not change, we change." (Henry David Thoreau) "Video games are bad for you? That's what they said about rock 'n roll." (Shigeru Miyamoto, game designer for Nintendo) In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
- W.B. Prescott Waterville
Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward.
-- Patricia Sampson "To live is to dream and to die is to awaken." (Anonymous) "Drugs have done a lot of good. A lot of good songs have been written. 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. 'Dark Side of the Moon?' 100 dead kids. At least that many were conceived by people listening We know the truth, not only by the reason, but also by the heart.
-- Blaise Pascal, Thoughts, Chap. x. 1., Translated by O. W. Wight There is nothing that can be said by mathematical symbols and relations which cannot also be
said by words. The converse, however, is false. Much that can be and is said by words cannot
successfully Waterville How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it
a leg.
-- Abraham Lincoln I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
-- Hector Louis Berlioz Waterville
If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything.
-- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with
the wish to teach himself.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
-- Indira Gandhi The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
- Aristotle Onassis Washing one's hands of the conflict between the powerful and the powerless means to side with
the powerful, not to be neutral.
-- Paulo Freire Waterville If your professor wrote it, it's as near to the truth as you ever need to get.
-- John Watson, University of Canterbury Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.
-- Jim Beggs "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet." (Mae West) Waterville
It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.
-- St. Francis of Assisi A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness.
-- Elsa Schiapirelli It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
-- Abraham Lincoln Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology.
-- John Tudor Hell is other people.
- Jean-Paul Sartre Waterville Age does not make us childish, as some say; it finds us true children.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences." (Isadora Duncan) There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.
-- Peter De Vries Waterville
"We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly." (Bill Mahe It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember.
-- Eugene McCarthy "Yes, I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can find his way by moonlight, and see the dawn before the rest of the world." (Oscar Wilde) And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.
-- The Beatles, The last lyric of their last song Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright Waterville I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest.
-- Alexandre Dumas pere God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if
he finds her.
-- Benjamin Tillett "To educate educators! But the first ones must educate themselves! And for these I write." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Waterville
When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
-- Helen Rowland "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him.
-- Cher To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it more fit for its
prime function of looking forward.
-- Margaret Fairless Barber "Dreams are the touchstones of our personality." (Henry David Thoreau) Waterville A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing
nothing.
-- George Benard Shaw "I think people resist freedom because they're afraid of the unknown. But it's ironic....That unknown was once very well known. It's where are souls belong....The only solution is to confront them--co Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you
get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a
Waterville
I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all
over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University >From the Far East I send you one single thought, one sole idea--written in red on every
beachhead form Australia to Tokyo--There is no substitute for victory!
-- General Douglas MacArthur There is more to life than increasing its speed.
-- Gandhi The more I know about people, the better I like my dog.
-- Mark Twain "It ends not with a bang, but a whimper." (Thomas Stearns Eliot, aka T. S. Eliot, The Hollow Man) Waterville "Those that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." (Benjamin Franklin) The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going
to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen Life is the flower for which love is the honey.
-- Victor Hugo Waterville
