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Laois Links

Laois County Council - Gives details of the services provided, its elected representatives and the county in general.
Durrow Online - DurrowLaois Online. A guide to whats happening in this Laois community.
Mountmellick - Community site, includes local news, information about local clubs, pubs, amenities, businesses and history of the town.
Laois Arts Festival October 24-31 - Annual festival held in Co. Laois, Ireland that hosts music, dance, theatre, film, comedy and visual art. Includes event listings.
Disability Consultancy Services - Portlaoise based. Includes information about services provided, contact details and training methods.
Mountmellick Development Association - A community development group that supports local integrated, social and economic development.
Laois Civil Defence - Describes the services provided, training, equipment, history and news. Has recruitment, a guestbook and contact information.
Franz Design - Portlaoise based, natural Irish handcrafted wooden giftware featuring the Fine Art of Nature Range by Franz Caffrey. Online Ordering available.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? -- Abraham Lincoln Stung by the splendour of a sudden thought. -- Robert Browning I sometimes think that God, in creating man, overestimated His ability. -- Oscar Wilde Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful. -- Samuel Johnson >From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. -- Groucho Marx Laois Tear open packet, unfold and use. -- Directions on moist towelette package The great end of life is not knowledge, but action. What men need is as much knowledge as they can organize for action; give them more and it may become injurious. Some men are heavy and stupid from Journalism is merely history's first draft. -- Geoffrey C. Ward Laois Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - Carl Gustav Jung "No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, g The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but you still have to mow it. -- Anonymous "What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to a human soul." (Joseph Addison) your daughters marry men of substance: gypsies with two bears. Laois When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it. -- Anatole France A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top. -- James Reston History repeats itself; that's one of the things that's wrong with history. -- Clarence Darrow Laois There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered. -- Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom "Beauty awakens the soul to act." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) Imagination is the highest kite one can fly. -- Lauren Bacall We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give. -- Winston Churchill The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. -- William James Laois It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed. They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position. -- John Hogan, Commonwealth Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward. -- Patricia Sampson Feminists are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one Laois Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd "Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent." (Napoleon Bonaparte) A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government. -- Edward Abbey Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it. -- David Starr Jordan "He who cannot give anything away cannot feel anything either." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Laois "I'm basically an optimist in life but this doesn't prevent me from deducing as a scientist that we are probably doomed." (Vladimir Chaloupka, physicist, University of Washington, regarding mankind's "Never frighten a little man. He'll kill you." (Robert A. Heinlein) Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death Laois Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that he sometimes has to eat them. -- Adlai Stevenson To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought. -- Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume A small family is soon provided for. -- English Proverb He who awaits much can expect little. -- Gabriel Garcia Marquez In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar--a practice which is still continued. -- Helen Rowland Laois A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude. -- Oscar Wilde If there is any one proof of a man's incompetence, it is the stagnant mentality of a worker who, doing some small routine job in a vast undertaking, does not care to look beyond the lever of a machi Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back. -- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Laois Genius has somewhat of the infantine; But of the childish not a touch or taint. -- Robert Browning When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped. -- Marcel Achard They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits. -- Joe Early, Congressman (D-Mass), at a press conference to answer questions about the House Bank scandal It's true that I did get the girl, but then my grandfather always said, "Even a blind chicken finds a few grains of corn now and then." -- Lyle Lovett, musician, upon marying actress Julia Roberts, What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. -- Dave Barry Laois If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance. - George Bernard Shaw Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration. -- D. H. Lawrence I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers. -- Gandhi Laois Mathematics, rightly viewed, posses not only truth, but supreme beauty -- a beauty cold and austere, like that of sculpture. -- Bertrand Russell "Murderers have been known to find that young girls give them more trouble than anybody else." (Jean Cocteau, Les Enfants Terribles) There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend Truth is more of a stranger than fiction. -- Mark Twain I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear. -- Woody Allen Laois Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage. -- Benjamin Franklin Dogma is the sacrifice of wisdom to consistency. - Lewis Perelman The gods too are fond of a joke. - Aristotle Laois I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves. -- August Strindberg How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg. -- Abraham Lincoln Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand. -- Charles Pierce If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee. -- Anonymous "Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential..." ( Laois "If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way." (Mark Twain) In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite. -- Paul Dirac The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary Laois When you've spent half your political life dealing with humdrum issues like the environment... it's exciting to have a real crisis on your hands. -- Margaret Thatcher, on the Falklands Conflict Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up. -- Robert Frost "I am convinced that it is not the fear of death, of our lives ending that haunts our sleep so much as the fear ... that as far as the world is concerned, we might as well never have lived." (Rabbi H Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays. -- Oscar Wilde To correct a natural indifference I was placed half-way between misery and the sun. Misery kept me from believing that all was well under the sun, and the sun taught me that history wasn't everythin Laois "The feminists used to say that chivalry and ladyhood were ways of keeping women down and preventing them from standing toe to toe with the guys. Now you've got a lot of women saying that if a guy is A theory is something nobody believes, except the person who made it. An experiment is something everybody believes, except the person who made it. -- Albert Einstein, attributed The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty than any logician or theologian, unless the latter, too, be lovers in disguise. -- George Santayana Laois I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about "short" and "cheap"? -- Phyllis Diller All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others. -- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story To keep your marriage brimming With love in the marriage cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it, Whenever you're right, shut up. -- Nash blah "Ideas are like stars, you will not succeed in touching them with your hands, but like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and, following them, you reach yo CAPITAL, n. The seat of misgovernment. That which provides the fire, the pot, the dinner, the table and the knife and fork for the anarchist; the part of the repast that himself supplies is the disg Laois The course of true love never did run smooth. -- William Shakespeare You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. -- Al Capone None but a good man is really a living man, and the more good any man does, the more he really lives. All the rest is death, or belongs to it. -- Herman Melville Laois "I have great faith in fools; My friends call it self-confidence." (Edger Allen Poe) I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin "Against stupidity the very gods themselves contend in vain." (Johann Christian Friedrich von Schiller, 1759-1805, The Maid of Orleans. Act iii. Sc. 6.) Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. -- Oscar Wilde The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing. -- Blaise Pascal, Pensées, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer Laois Hell is other people. - Jean-Paul Sartre What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. -- Dave Barry Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious. -- Oscar Wilde Laois
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