Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
-- Anonymous Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-
inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least
expect i I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
- e e cummings "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C. D The fate of love is that it always seems too little or too much.
-- Anonymous Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.
-- Thomas Dewar Honor lies in honest toil.
-- Grover Cleveland D
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
-- Clarence Darrow The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it
prevents you from achieving.
-- Russell Green An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.
-- Alfred A. Knopf My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way. "If you meet a woman that smokes cigars ... marry her." (Arthur Lotti) D I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
-- Anonymous "The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
-- Jackie Gleason D
The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.
-- George Bernard Shaw We can say 'Peace on Earth,' we can sing about it, preach about it or pray about it, but if we have
not internalized the mythology to make it happen inside us, then it will not be.
-- Betty Shabazz "Courageous, untroubled, mocking and violent--that is what Wisdom wants us to be. Wisdom is a woman, and loves only a warrior." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all
the time. That would be hypocrisy.
-- Oscar Wilde "You believe that flag burning shows disrespect towards those who have fought to preserve our freedoms. Punishing protestors shows an even more profound disrespect for the ideals that these people die D The voice of the intellect is a soft one, but it does not rest till it has gained a hearing.
-- Sigmund Freud Vote early and vote often.
- Al Capone I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up.
-- Barbara Bush, first lady, 1989 D
"The bite of conscience, like the bite of a dog into a stone, is a stupidity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside
desperate to get out.
-- Michel de Montaigne We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
-- Will Rogers "Any existence deprived of freedom is a kind of death." (General Michel Aoun) It is best to learn as we go, not go as we have learned.
-- Leslie Jeanne Sahler D "To introduce something altogether new would mean to begin all over, to become ignorant again, and to run the old, old risk of failing to learn." (Isaac Asimov) "Gifts must affect the receiver to the point of shock." (Walter Benjamin) What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat
guy in the third row exists?
-- Woody Allen D
"Boredom is a vital problem for the moralist, since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Learn to laugh at your troubles and you'll never run out of things to laugh at.
-- Lyn Karol Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
-- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle Whoever controls the media--the images--controls the culture.
-- Allen Ginsberg Teach a parrot the terms "supply and demand" and you've got an economist.
-- Thomas Carlyle D Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just
flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around There is more to life than increasing its speed.
-- Gandhi Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're
entitled to a little fun first.
-- Anonymous D
I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all
the time. That would be hypocrisy.
-- Oscar Wilde "In some ways, I never outgrew my adolescence. I wake up in the morning and think, 'Oh my God, I'm late for a math test!' But then I say, 'Wait a minute. I'm 40.'" (Daniel Clowes) I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me
is another matter.
- Sir Winston Churchill "The mark of our time is its revulsion against imposed patterns." (Marshall McLuhan) What if it was cats who invented technology... would they have tv shows starring rubber sqeak
toys?
-- Douglas Coupland D The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and
blows up the bonfire.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of
genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
-- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart D
Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside
desperate to get out.
-- Michel de Montaigne Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard "Any existence deprived of freedom is a kind of death." (General Michel Aoun) I hate work. That's why I got married.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained.
-- John Powell D How could they tell?
-- Dorothy Parker, upon hearing that President Coolidge had died A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Goethe Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
-- T. S. Eliot D
Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.
-- Dr. Benjamin Spock, American pediatrician, address to new parents If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
- George Bernard Shaw When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
- Buckminster "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." (John Benfield) What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
-- Abraham Lincoln D "In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than
the wisest man can answer.
-- Charles Caleb Colton I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on.
-- Oscar Levant D
Love is an attempt to change a piece of the dream-world into reality.
-- Theodor Reik "Hold a true friend with both your hands." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
- e e cummings Experience teaches only the teachable.
-- Aldous Huxley "Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck." (George Sanders, suicide note) D Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable. -- Oscar Wilde "The most instructive experiences are those of everyday life." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Better to be deprived of food for three days than tea for one." (Chinese Proverb) D
Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the
unpalatable.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith I didn't accept it. I received it.
-- Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to President Reagan, explaining the $1000 in cash and
two watches he was given by two Japanese journalists after he hel "Beauty without expression is boring." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that.
-- John Stuart Mill D Well, I think that it's a- it's had some difficult times but I think we have- we, I think, have been able
to make some very good progress and it's- I would say that it's- it's- it's delightful that w Thought is action in rehearsal.
-- Sigmund Freud >From error to error one discovers the entire truth.
-- Sigmund Freud D
"He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever." (Chinese Proverb) If a man does his best, what else is there?
- General George S. Patton The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too.
When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing
extraordinary I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
- Mark Twain "No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous." (Henry B. Adams) D The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-- Will Rogers Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say "Don't trust anyone over 30."
-- Anonymous D
