History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.
-- Salvador Dali Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
-- Anonymous We didn't send you to Washington to make intelligent decisions. We sent you to represent us.
-- Kent York, Baptist minister to US Rep. Bill Sarpalius I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
-- Francois-Auguste Rodin, when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues E There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
- Frank Zappa The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort "The things we admire in men, kindness and generosity, openness, honesty, understanding and feeling are the concomitants of failure in our system. And those traits we detest, sharpness, greed, acquisi E
"'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!'" (Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass) I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible
by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
- Umberto Eco Women see better than men. Men see lazily, if they do not expect to act. Women see quite
without any wish to act.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson A thing is not necessarily true because badly uttered, nor false because spoken magnificently.
-- St. Augustine "Learn from the mistakes of others--you can never live long enough to make them all yourself." (John Luther) E Good friends are good for your health.
-- Irwin Sarason I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
-- Nancy Mitford Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden E
"Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
-- Henny Youngman We can say 'Peace on Earth,' we can sing about it, preach about it or pray about it, but if we have
not internalized the mythology to make it happen inside us, then it will not be.
-- Betty Shabazz Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
-- Aaron Levenstein "I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me." (George Bernard Shaw) E "Everyone is a bore to someone. That is unimportant. The thing to avoid is being a bore to oneself." (Gerald Brenan) "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) "From the start, marriage was instituted for contemptible, practical reasons--an idea of men." (Catherine Deneuve) E
America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a
chair.
-- Arnold Toynbee The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it.
-- Lou Holtz We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we
respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H. L. Mencken It was a day like this Marco Polo left for China. What are your plans for today?
--Loesje The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.
-- Andy Warhol E Most convicted felons are just people who were not taken to museums or Broadway musicals as
children.
-- Libby Gelman-Waxner Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person that loves you
enough chance to love you enough.
-- Dinah Shore "Any existence deprived of freedom is a kind of death." (General Michel Aoun) E
The Churches must learn humility as well as teach it.
-- George Bernard Shaw, St. Joan No race can prosper till it learns that there is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem.
-- Booker T. Washington Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau ( There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
-- George Bernard Shaw Research is the act of going up alleys to see if they are blind.
-- Plutarch E There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home.
-- Kenneth H. Olson, President of DEC, Convention of the World Future Society, 1977 May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. "So little done, so much to do." (Cecil Rhodes) E
In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others.
-- André Maurois I believe that mink are raised for being turned into fur coats and if we didn't wear fur coats those
little animals would never have been born. So is it better not to have been born or to have lived What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
-- Robert Schuller "Avoid providing material for the drama that is always stretched tight between parents and children; it uses up much of the children's strength and wastes the love of the elders, which acts and warms Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.
-- George Orwell E The telephone company is urging people to *please* not use the telephone unless it is absolutely
necessary in order to keep the lines open for emergency personnel. We'll be right back after this
bre The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
-- George Bernard Shaw If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
-- Aristotle Onassis E
In the case of good books, the point is not to see how many of them you can get through, but how
many can get through to you.
-- Mortimer J. Adler When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
-- Bobcat Goldthwait A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash We can never be sure that the opinion we are endeavoring to stifle is a false opinion; and if we
were sure, stifling it would be an evil still.
-- John Stuart Mill E Anything too stupid to be said, is sung.
-- Voltaire Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.
-- John F. Kennedy E
"Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing." (Oscar Wilde) Marry in haste, repent in leisure.
-- Tilney Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
- Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat He who kisses the joy is it flies lives in eternity's sunrise
-- William Blake There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and
flattens the stomachs.
-- Barbara Howar E If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
- Seymour Cray (1925-1996), father of supercomputing Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
-- Finley Peter Dunne "In times of change learners inherit the earth; while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists." (Eric Hoffer) E
Love is shown in your deeds, not in your words.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings "The evil that is in the world almost always comes of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding." (Albert Camus) I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a
woman.
-- Virginia Woolf "Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking." (H. Jackson Brown (Jr.) That's the nature of research--you don't know what in hell you're doing.
-- 'Doc' Edgerton E "We have so little presumption that we should like to be known in the world, even to those who come after when we are no more. We have so little vanity that the esteem of five people, say six, amuses In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
-- G. K. Chesterton E
A theory is something nobody believes, except the person who made it. An experiment is
something everybody believes, except the person who made it.
-- Albert Einstein, attributed Once a boy becomes a man, he's a man all his life, but a woman is only sexy until she becomes
your wife.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to
realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and
grie "Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies." (Gore Vidal) Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been
reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Depart E "All our best men are laughed at in this nightmare land." (Jack Keroac) The mistakes are all waiting to be made.
- chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956) on the game's opening position "Jesus died too soon. If he had lived to my age he would have repudiated his doctrine." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) E
"I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.
-- Sophocles "College: two hundred people reading same book. An obvious mistake. Two hundred people can read two hundred books." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
-- Benjamin Disraeli "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) E "I'm basically an optimist in life but this doesn't prevent me from deducing as a scientist that we are probably doomed." (Vladimir Chaloupka, physicist, University of Washington, regarding mankind's It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
-- Oscar Wilde The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute
for life.
-- Andrew Brown E
