Love is friendship set on fire.
- Jeremy Taylor Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.
-- Alphonse Allais An economic forecaster is like a cross-eyed javelin thrower: they don't win many accuracy
contests, but they keep the crowd's attention.
-- Anonymous After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely
pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent Good judgement comes from experience, and experience--well, that comes from poor judgement.
-- Cousin Woodman G Love is what happens to men and women who don't know each other.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the
moment.
-- Robert Benchley "No one ever owns his youth or the women he loves." (Pedro Almodóvar, Live Flesh) G
What's new? Most of my wife. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world.
-- George Santayana Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
-- Typewriting exercise The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.
-- Andy Warhol G Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away.
-- Mary Alice Messenger I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
-- Gore Vidal Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
-- George Bernard Shaw G
It is best to learn as we go, not go as we have learned.
-- Leslie Jeanne Sahler "I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it." (Ashleigh Brilliant) If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so uninteresting that none of us would
be able to endure it.
-- Schopenhauer Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc
jockey is not allowed to talk.
-- Fran Lebowitz "I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real senten G If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children..." - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner There is a coherent plan in the universe, though I don't know what it's a plan for.
-- Fred Hoyle The world has achieved brilliance without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and
ethical infants.
-- General Omar Bradley G
"The formula for my happiness: a Yes, a No, a straight line, a goal." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The open-minded see the truth in different things: the narrow-minded see only the differences.
-- Author Unknown He who has lost honor can lose nothing more.
-- Publilius Syrus "I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him." (Galileo Galilei) Love is what happens to men and women who don't know each other.
-- W. Somerset Maugham G Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever. "I am the lizard king. I can do anything." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) G
In the end, everything is a gag.
- Charlie Chaplin Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
-- Steven Wright But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
- Andrew Marvell Never look at the trombones. You'll only encourage them.
-- Richard Strauss, on conducting Washing one's hands of the conflict between the powerful and the powerless means to side with
the powerful, not to be neutral.
-- Paulo Freire G "What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain The charm of history and its enigmatic lesson consist in the fact that, from age to age, nothing
changes and yet everything is completely different.
-- Aldous Huxley G
Every calling is great when greatly pursued.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.
-- Harry Truman Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside
desperate to get out.
-- Michel de Montaigne A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Mae West Education ... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth
reading.
-- G. M. Trevelyan G Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're
entitled to a little fun first.
-- Anonymous When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of
the world.
- George Washington Carver G
For the majority of People, smoking has a beneficial effect.
-- Dr. Ian G. Macdonald, Los Angeles surgeon, quoted in Newsweek , Nov.18th 1963. Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
-- Niels Bohr Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute. The absolute yearning of one human body for another particular body and its indifference to
substitutes is one of life's major mysteries.
-- Iris Murdoch Well, I think that it's a- it's had some difficult times but I think we have- we, I think, have been able
to make some very good progress and it's- I would say that it's- it's- it's delightful that w G I am about to--or I am going to--die; either expression is used.
-- Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, dying words He who knows nothing, knows nothing. But he who knows he knows nothing knows something. And he who knows someone whose friend's wife's brother knows nothing, he knows something. Or something like that There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written.
-- Oscar Wilde G
"I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we've been voting for boobs
long enough."
-- Arizona senatorial candidate Claire Sargent, on women candidates "People expect a certain reaction from a business, and when you pleasantly exceed those expectations, you've somehow passed an important psychological threshold." (Richard Thalheimer, president, The A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
-- Paul Valery "Failure is not an option!" (Ed Harris, as Gene Kranz, Apollo 13) The closer I'm bound in love to you, the closer I am to free.
-- Indigo Girls, song lyric G Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
- Elbert Hubbard To expect defeat is nine-tenths of defeat itself.
-- Francis Crawford "If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." (Anatole France) G
They had a dispute about a night out with the boys. But he finally decided to let her go.
-- Anonymous If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research, would it?
-- Albert Einstein "College: two hundred people reading same book. An obvious mistake. Two hundred people can read two hundred books." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) "Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, 'What?! You too! Thought I was the only one.'" (Clive Staples Lewis) He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
- Sir Winston Churchill G Work is a four-letter word.
-- The Smiths (Morrissey) Better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall.
-- David Chambless Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
- Henry Louis Mencken G
"There are no uninteresting things, only uninteresting people." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crowf "Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck." (George Sanders, suicide note) Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would
be doing if he were alive today?
1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
2) Advising the President.
3) D G The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.
-- Gandhi Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon
them.
-- Anonymous G
"Posterity: you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it." (John Quincy Adams) blah "Each friend represents a world in us; a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only in meeting them that a new world is born." (Anais Nin) "We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones." (Andrew A. Rooney) Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.
-- Erica Jong Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
-- Stephen Leacock G Never marry for money. Ye'll borrow it cheaper.
-- Scottish Proverb Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from
history.
-- George Bernard Shaw Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the
time by watching the second hand of a clock.
-- Ben Hecht G
