Children are a poor man's riches.
-- English proverb blah "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) Wife: The perfect acquisition for any gentleman feeling himself to have excessive control over his personal affairs. Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely
been detected.
-- Oscar Wilde "Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." (Native American Proverb) J Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. Laywers, I suppose, were children once.
-- Charles Lamb It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
- Aristotle J
I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
- Helen Rowland The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does
not stop until you get into the office.
-- Robert Frost Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
-- Oscar Levant, to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee Women's liberationists spread the word that...the only peaceful family is one in which either the
wife is enslaved or the husband is androgynous.
-- R. Emmett Tyell, The Liberal Crack-Up, 1984 J He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
- H. H. Munro (Saki) A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted
by a little physical antipathy.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche Better watch out that you won't become a television set in your next life.
--Loesje J
Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're
entitled to a little fun first.
-- Anonymous I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the
advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults of the first.
-- Benjamin Franklin I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like
toxic waste.
-- David Bissonette "The reward of a thing well done is having done it." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) "Over grown military establishments are under any form of government inauspicious to liberty, and are to be regarded as particularly hostile to republican liberty." (George Washington) J You can observe a lot by watching.
-- Yogi Berra He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke.
-- Terry Cohen I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.
-- Jules Renard J
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
-- ee cummings "Have confidence that if you have done a little thing well, you can do a bigger thing well, too." (David Malcolm Storey) "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) "Everything in my life has been determined by mistakes." (Gene Wilder) J I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.
-- James Stephens There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein J
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about "short" and
"cheap"?
-- Phyllis Diller Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly.
-- Simeon Strunsky To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
-- Oscar Wilde To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer To take what there "is", and use it, without waiting forever in vain for the preconceived - to dig
deep into the actual and get something out of that - this doubtless is the right way to live.
-- H J "The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never
were, and ask why not?
-- Robert Francis Kennedy Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its
coattails.
-- Clarence Darrow J
The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this century's history.... We all lived
in this century. I didn't live in this century.
-- Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republic "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom." (William Blake) When making public policy decisions about new technologies for the Government, I think one
should ask oneself which technologies would best strengthen the hand of a police state. Then, do
not allow The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
-- G. K. Chesterton "Whether it is a black cat or a white cat, as long as it can catch the rat, it is a good cat." (Deng Xiao Ping) J ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.
-- James Stephens "Every act of violence increases the recruitment of terrorists. Iraq has been turned into a base of terror." (Noam Chomsky, from The Toronto Star, March 23, 2004) J
He didn't say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech.
-- Richard Darman, director of OMB, explaining why President Bush wasn't following up on his
campaign pledge that there would be Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what "The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked. 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'" (Lewi "The feminists used to say that chivalry and ladyhood were ways of keeping women down and preventing them from standing toe to toe with the guys. Now you've got a lot of women saying that if a guy is Each religion, by the help of more or less myth which it takes more or less seriously, proposes
some method of fortifying the human soul and enabline it to make its peace with its destiny.
-- George J "In literary criticism the critic has no choice but to make over the victim of his attention into something the size and shape of himself." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) "Where there's a marriage without love there will be love without marriage." (Benjamin Franklin) J
Saying that Windows95 is equal to Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and
believing you've witnessed the second coming.
-- Guy Kawasaki The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
-- Joseph Heller, God Knows Do you not know, my son, with what little understanding the world is ruled?
-- Pope Julius III There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to
learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent.
-- Michel de Montaigne Great innovations should not be forced on slender majorities.
-- Thomas Jefferson J If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright Anything too stupid to be said, is sung.
-- Voltaire "When you resort to attacking the messenger and not the message, you have lost the debate." (Addison Whithecomb) J
Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her
have her own way.
-- Anonymous I don't want everyone to like me; I should think less of myself if some people did.
-- Henry James Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
- Jimmy Durante "He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." (Thomas Paine) blah "A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) J Assassins!
-- Arturo Toscanini, to his orchestra You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
-- Mark Twain If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research, would it?
-- Albert Einstein J
"Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) "What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
-- Anonymous If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
-- Abraham Lincoln Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson J Love is blind and marriage is the institution for the blind.
-- James Graham Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
- Isaac Asimov "Good taste is the first refuge of the non-creative. It is the last-ditch stand of the artist." (Marshall McLuhan) J
"The masses are far more likely to believe a big lie than several small ones." (Adolf Hitler) Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck "In literary criticism the critic has no choice but to make over the victim of his attention into something the size and shape of himself." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
-- Abraham Lincoln "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) J I know I'm not in government anymore. In fact I'm out of work.
-- Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President, on a speaking tour of Japan, 1989 Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
-- George Bernard Shaw J
