And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts,
in living color, you're about to see another first -- an attempted suicide.
-- Chris Hubbock, who sh In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson
articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are
apparently based I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
-- Tom Lehrer We never live; we are always in the expectation of living.
-- Voltaire "Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise." (Alice Walker) K It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
-- Gore Vidal Wit is educated insolence.
- Aristotle Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by
committee meetings.
-- George F. Will, journalist, political commentator, 1994 K
Anything too stupid to be said, is sung.
-- Voltaire The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
-- Albert Einstein The only weapon that becomes sharper with constant use is the tongue.
-- Anonymous Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and
cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
-- Tom Robbins K "If you light a man a fire, he will be warm for a day; if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life." (Anonymous) The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when
we created them.
- Albert Einstein Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
-- H. L. Mencken K
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does
come, we no longer exist.
-- Epicurus All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it
is accepted as being self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) This is the fourth?
-- Thomas Jefferson, dying words I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
-- Sam Kinison K "It is a curious thing that God learned Greek when he wished to turn author--and that he did not learn it better." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Say goodbye to the oldies, but goodies, because the good old days weren't always good and
tomorrow aint as bad as it seems.
-- Billy Joel A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader.
Harry S. Truman K
Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature
machine gun.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell cannot imagine any condition which would cause this ship to founder. Modern shipbuilding has
gone beyond that.
-- E. I. Smith, Captain of the Titanic Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
-- H. L. Mencken Count your age with friends but not with years.
-- Anonymous No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
-- Abraham Lincoln K Love may be a dream but marriage is a nightmare.
-- Joan Collins Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.
-- Anonymous Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from
both sides.
-- Margaret Thatcher K
To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the marriage cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
Whenever you're right, shut up. -- Nash Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?
-- The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Happy are those who dream dreams and are willing to pay the price to make them come true.
-- Anon. "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy
the waking hours much more.
-- Woody Allen K Love is blind -- marriage is the eye-opener.
-- Pauline Thomason "Self confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings." (Samuel Johnson) If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
-- Mother Teresa K
The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. -- S. T. Coleridge "We must view young people not as empty bottles to be filled but as candles to be lit." (Robert Shaffer) Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for the appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George Bernard Shaw Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes.
-- Brendan Hills "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) K "Is man merely a mistake of God's? Or God merely a mistake of man's?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.
-- Alfred A. Knopf Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.
-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh K
"The most instructive experiences are those of everyday life." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Age does not make us childish, as some say; it finds us true children.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe A straight line is the shortest in morals as in mathematics.
-- Maria Edgeworth Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't
take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates...
-- Anonymous There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of
bread.
- Mahatma Gandhi K Whoever controls the media--the images--controls the culture.
-- Allen Ginsberg We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.
-- Buck Henry The absolute yearning of one human body for another particular body and its indifference to
substitutes is one of life's major mysteries.
-- Iris Murdoch K
Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the
writing will be just as it should be.
-- Mark Twain He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.
-- Confucius There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the
false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.
-- Salvador Dali Character is what you are in the dark.
-- Dwight L. Moody K A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
-- G. K. Chesterton Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.
-- G. K. Chesterton I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
- Cicero K
"Education must have an end in view, for it is not an end in itself." (Sybil Marshall) blah "Ideas are like stars, you will not succeed in touching them with your hands, but like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and, following them, you reach yo Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more
experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat
soiled or torn? It may be that the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong -- but that is the way
to bet.
-- Damon Runyan It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.
-- Pierre Augustin de Beaumarchais K Goodbye, Everybody!
-- Hart Crane, poet, who committed suicide by jumping overboard during a steamship voyage. I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people
themselves.
-- August Strindberg The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free. K
When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up
something appropriate and do it.
-- E. W. Howe Women's liberationists spread the word that...the only peaceful family is one in which either the
wife is enslaved or the husband is androgynous.
-- R. Emmett Tyell, The Liberal Crack-Up, 1984 Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 - 1944) How is it that little children are so intelligent and men so stupid? It must be education that does it.
-- Alexandre Dumas fils K "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) blah "If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves." (Thomas Alva Edison) "Club Secretary: I say, Lawrence. You are a clown!
Lawrence: We can't all be lion tamers." (Thomas Edward Lawrence, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) K
The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to
vote for Colonel Sanders.
-- Bob Inglis, 1995 "...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes) The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man's observation, not overturning
it.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton I am beginning to suspect all elaborate and special systems of education. They seem to me to be
built upon the supposition that every child is a kind of idiot who must be taught to think.
-- Anne S K Honorable, adj. Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary
to mention all members as honorable; as, ``the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.'
-- Bierce, A Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire.
-- Jean de La Fontaine True thinkers are characterised by a blending of clearness and mystery.
-- Victor Hugo K
