Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous All courage is a form of constancy. It is always himself that a coward abandons first. After this all
other betrayals come.
-- Cormac McCarthy The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home.
-- Kenneth H. Olson, President of DEC, Convention of the World Future Society, 1977 N "Deep down, no one really believes they have a right to live. But this death sentence generally stays tucked away, hidden beneath the difficulty of living. If that difficulty is removed from time to t "Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing." (Oscar Wilde) I don't know as much as God, but I know more than He did at my age.
-- Henry Kissinger N
"Beauty awakens the soul to act." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
-- Joseph Addison A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
Robert Frost (1874-1963) There is a coherent plan in the universe, though I don't know what it's a plan for.
-- Fred Hoyle Never eat more than you can lift.
-- Miss Piggy, character on "The Muppet Show," U.S. television show N An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -- Agatha Christie I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
-- Elvis Presley "I have no special gift; I am only passionately curious." (Albert Einstein) N
No wonder nobody comes here--it's too crowded.
-- Yogi Berra "A wise man among the ignorant is as a beautiful girl in the company of blind men." (Saadi) "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead, 1901-78) "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands... but English women only
hope to find in their butlers.
-- W. Somerset Maugham N Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.
-- Gloria Steinem Life is like music; it must be composed by ear, feeling, and instinct, not by rule.
-- Samuel Butler I read the book of Job last night - I don't think God comes out well in it.
-- Virginia Woolf N
Education is not filling a bucket, but lighting a fire.
-- William Yeats Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its
coattails.
-- Clarence Darrow Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to.
-- Shane Leslie Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock N Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
-- Aldous Huxley A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
- Lao-Tzu "Club Secretary: I say, Lawrence. You are a clown!
Lawrence: We can't all be lion tamers." (Thomas Edward Lawrence, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) N
Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over." "We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones." (Andrew A. Rooney) "No man is clever enough to know all the evil he does." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
-- Marx Groucho, the film "Animal Crackers" To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it;
whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Ogden Nash N It is always right that a man should be able to render a reason for the faith that is within him.
-- Sydney Smith ...the fog is rising.
-- Emily Dickinson, dying words Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can.
-- Danny Kaye N
Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
-- Buddha Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli "The man who lets himself be bored is even more contemptible than the bore." (Samuel Butler) Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so you apologize for truth.
-- Benjamin Disraeli The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
-- Josh Billings N NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows
how to make us disobedient.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.
-- George S. Patton, Jr. N
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
-- George Santayana No, that is the great fallacy; the wisdom of old men. They do not grow wise. They grow careful." (Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell To Arms) Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.
-- Confucius I like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign.
-- Mae West N "There cannot be a God because, if there were one, I would not believe that I was not He." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." (Blaise Pascal) "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) N
Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
-- George Bernard Shaw Love is what happens to men and women who don't know each other.
-- W. Somerset Maugham I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? -- Phyllis Diller "I praise loudly. I blame softly." (Catherine the Great) Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of
existence.
-- Sydney Smith N Man is the only animal that blushes--or needs to.
-- Mark Twain "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have
had any experience with them.
-- H. L. Mencken N
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd It is a product of Einstein's genius -- taking a commonplace observation, combining it with some
simple imaginary experiments, and arriving at a revolutionary conclusion.
-- Clifford M. Wills, 1986 If you would thoroughly know anything, teach it to others.
-- Tryon Edwards The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One
cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the
marvelous str It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing. N Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
-- Oscar Wilde, dying words Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
-- Laurence J. Peter As for the virtuous poor, one can pity them, of course, but one cannot possibly admire them.
-- Oscar Wilde N
These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
-- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995 Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for
appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George bernard Shaw I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but
all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
- Bill Hirst Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 - 1944) The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is
that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one.
-- Anonymous N We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
- Friedrich Nietzsche If you don't know how to do something, you don't know how to do it with a computer.
-- Anon. Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw. N
"It seems to me that almost all our sadnesses are moments of tension, which we feel as paralysis because we no longer hear our astonished emotions living." (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poe Dreams never hurt anybody if you keep working right behind the dreams to make as much of
them become real as you can.
-- Frank W. Woolworth Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
-- Finley Peter Dunne "Against stupidity the very gods themselves contend in vain." (Johann Christian Friedrich von Schiller, 1759-1805, The Maid of Orleans. Act iii. Sc. 6.) I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
-- Henny Youngman N The great advantage of being in a rut is that when one is in a rut, one knows exactly where one
is.
-- Arnold Bennett Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
-- James Joyce I like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign.
-- Mae West N
