"And on the seventh day, God stepped back and said 'There is my creation, perfect in every way ... oh, damn it, I left pot all over the place. Now they'll think I want them to smoke it. Now I have to Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd "The formula for my happiness: a Yes, a No, a straight line, a goal." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "I like boring things." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.
-- Oscar Wilde O "In literary criticism the critic has no choice but to make over the victim of his attention into something the size and shape of himself." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
-- Woody Allen O
The grand aim of all science is to cover the greatest number of empirical facts by logical
deduction from the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
-- Albert Einstein The great man fights the elements in his time that hinder his own greatness, in other words his own freedom and sincerity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) It is not necessary that whilst I live I live happily; but it is necessary that so long as I live I should
live honourably.
-- Kant, Immanuel Morality consists in suspecting other people of not being legally married.
-- George Bernard Shaw This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. O "Your children are not your children. They are sons and daughters of life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you, they belong not to you. You may gi The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-- Tom Clancy Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. O
"The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." (John Benfield) "Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to their capacity for experience." (George Bernard Shaw) Destiny is but a phrase of the weak human heart - the dark apology for every error. The strong
and virtuous admit no destiny. On earth conscience guides; in heaven God watches. And destiny
is but th If pleasures are greatest in anticipation, just remember that this is also true of trouble.
-- Elbert Hubbard O What luck for the rulers that men do not think.
-- Adolf Hitler There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose
-- Jim Elliott O
"Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) It is never too late to be what you might have been.
-- George Eliot "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) To read a writer is for me not merely to get an idea of what he says, but to go off with him and travel in his company.
Andre Gide I know I'm not in government anymore. In fact I'm out of work.
-- Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President, on a speaking tour of Japan, 1989 O "To introduce something altogether new would mean to begin all over, to become ignorant again, and to run the old, old risk of failing to learn." (Isaac Asimov) A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
-- Navaho saying I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
- Thomas Jefferson O
"Genius without education is like silver in the mine." (Benjamin Franklin) I'm not dumb, I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
-- Calvin There are many things worth living for, there are a few things worth dying for, but there is nothing
worth killing for.
-- Tom Robbins Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.
-- Ziggy, character in comic strip by Tom Wilson O blah "The best students always are flunking. Every good teacher knows that." (Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance) There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
- Frank Zappa Education is not filling a bucket, but lighting a fire.
-- William Yeats O
If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so uninteresting that none of us would
be able to endure it.
-- Schopenhauer Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. "The want of logic annoys. Too much logic bores. Life eludes logic, and everything that logic alone constructs remains artificial and forced." (André Gide) People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only
make $500,000.
-- Pete Incaviglia, baseball player, 1990 "I am interested in anything about revolt, disorder , chaos--especially activity that seems to have no meaning. It seems to me to be the road toward freedom ... Rather than starting inside, I start ou O Repentance is not so much remorse for what we have done as the fear of the consequences.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld, Maxims, 1665 blah "Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then be trusted with the government of others? Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him? You cannot think about thinking, without thinking about thinking about something.
-- Seymour Papert O
"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." (George Carlin) "A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or
play.
-- WARREN BEATTY If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man
will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.
-- Henry Ford "Beauty without expression is boring." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) O The sun never sets on the British empire because Britain is in the east and the sun sets in the
west.
-- Unknown history student The west wasn't won on salad.
-- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990 "As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it." (Dick Cavett) O
Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.
-- Virginia Woolf Usenet is like Tetris for people who still remember how to read.
-- Button from the Computer Museum, Boston, MA "I offer images; I conjure memories of freedom that can still be reached ... But, we can only open the doors. We can't drag people through. I can't free them unless they want to be free--more than any I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard This world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.
-- Horace Walpole O blah bla "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough." (Albert Einstein) "I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of
opportunity.
-- George Bernard Shaw O
A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted
by a little physical antipathy.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche "Nothing touches a work of art so little as words of criticism: they always result in more or less fortunate misunderstandings." (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet) It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by
the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off!
-- Douglas Jerold, 1858 Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window.
You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.
-- Jean Ke "What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to a human soul." (Joseph Addison) O Nothing average ever stood as a monument to progress. When progress is looking for a partner it
doesn't turn to those who believe they are only average. It turns instead to those who are forever
sea And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise. There's a saying among prospectors: "Go out looking for one thing, and that's all you'll ever find."
-- Robert Flaherty O
I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all
the time. That would be hypocrisy.
-- Oscar Wilde I still believe in liberalism today as much as I ever did, but, oh, there was a happy time when I
believed in liberals...
-- G. K. Chesterton Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're
entitled to a little fun first.
-- Anonymous Work is the curse of the drinking class.
-- Oscar Wilde We need the iron qualities that go with true manhood. We need the positive virtues of resolution,
of courage, of indomitable will, of power to do without shrinking the rough work that must always
be O Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes.
-- Brendan Hills Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson If you cannot be the master of your language, you must be its slave. If you cannot examine your
thoughts, you have no choice but to think them, however silly they may be.
-- Richard Mitchell, from O
The first duty of love is to listen.
-- Paul Tillich As for courage and will - we cannot measure how much of each lies within us, we can only trust
there will be sufficient to carry through trials which may lie ahead.
-- Andre Norton Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like
what you are getting.
-- Anonymous Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the
wrong remedies.
-- Groucho Marx We do not remember days; we remember moments.
-- Anonymous O "Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers." (Socrates) I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been.
-- Wayne Gretzky "I have no special gift; I am only passionately curious." (Albert Einstein) O
