Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of
humor is just common sense, dancing.
-- Clive James What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crowf There's nothing wrong with having nothing to say -- unless you insist on saying it.
-- Anonymous "The intellect is always fooled by the heart." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett Localities Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
- Karl Wallenda "A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) "Do you know that places only yield up their secrets, their most profound mysteries, to those who are just passing through?" (Salman Rushdie, The Moor's Last Sigh) Localities
...the fog is rising.
-- Emily Dickinson, dying words In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update
would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every
computer that th "Nothing touches a work of art so little as words of criticism: they always result in more or less fortunate misunderstandings." (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet) Conversation, fastidious Goddess, loves blood better than brick, and feasts most subtly on the
human will.
-- Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway Intelligence has nothing to do with politics.
-- Londo Molari Localities Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
-- Indian proverb I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it.
And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.
-- George Bus Localities
Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe blah "A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
-- Helen Rowland "I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower."
"Oh yeah, well I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower TWICE!"
-- Ken Kesey from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" "Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, great minds discuss ideas." (Anonymous) Localities I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Life is not an easy matter.... You cannot live through it without falling into frustration and cynicism
unless you have before you a great idea which raises you above personal misery, above
weakness The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain
terrible.
-- Jean Kerr Localities
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can
only read the title.
-- Virginia Woolf If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
-- George Bernard Shaw Guide to understanding a net.addict's day:
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three ho Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been
reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Depart Localities Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
- Jean-Paul Sartre "Mothers spend a lifetime excising from their sons the influence of their fathers." (Arthur Lotti) "We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police." (Jeff Marder) Localities
To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the marriage cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
Whenever you're right, shut up. -- Nash Establishing yourself, furnishing a house, building up a comfortable existence, and having that menace hanging over your head all the time - no, I prefer to live in hotels, cafés, just passing through "The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." (George Bernar The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage. Localities He who laughs last didn't get it.
-- Helen Giangregorio "Kill a man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conquerer. Kill everyone, and you are a god." (Jean Rostand) Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?
- H. M. Warner, founder of Warner Brothers, in 1927 Localities
Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley
Temple could do it at the age of four.
-- Katharine Hepburn In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
-- Albert Einstein The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.
-- Cicero If other people are going to talk, conversation becomes impossible.
-- James McNeill Whistler That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the
lessons that history has to teach.
-- Aldous Huxley Localities "Some people wear their heart up on their sleeve. I wear mine underneath my right pant leg, strapped to my boot." (Ani Difranco) blah "You shall find out how salt is the taste of another man's bread, and how hard is the way up and down another man's stairs." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) Localities
"If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library." (Frank Zappa) The closer I'm bound in love to you, the closer I am to free.
-- Indigo Girls, song lyric "I owe much to my friends; but, all things considered, it strikes me that I owe even more to my enemies. The real person springs life under a sting even better than under a caress." (André Gide) The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
-- George Bernard Shaw I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
- John F. Kennedy when asked what is his favorite song Localities In the early sixties, we were strong, we were virulent...
-- John Connally, Secretary of Treasury under Richard Nixon, in an early 70s speech, as reported
in a contemporary "American Scholar" "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
- Cicero Localities
Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware;
those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.
-- Unknown author, Levitating T The great man fights the elements in his time that hinder his own greatness, in other words his own freedom and sincerity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
-- Al Capone University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
- Henry Kissinger Whining is not only graceless, but can be dangerous. It can alert a brute that a victim is in the
neighborhood.
-- Maya Angelou Localities You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
- Gilbert Keith Chesterton Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.
-- G. K. Chesterton Universities incline wits to sophistry and affectation.
-- Francis Bacon Localities
Research is the act of going up alleys to see if they are blind.
-- Plutarch "Nothing has been purchased more dearly than the little bit of reason and sense of freedom which now constitutes our pride." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his.
-- Oscar Wilde An understanding heart is everything is a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One
looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our
human Each religion, by the help of more or less myth which it takes more or less seriously, proposes
some method of fortifying the human soul and enabline it to make its peace with its destiny.
-- George Localities In the blithe days of honeymoon,
With Kate's allurements smitten,
I lov'd her late, I lov'd her soon,
And call'd her dearest kitten.
But now my kitten's grown a cat,
And cross like other wives.
Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
-- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
-- Alphonse Allais Localities
A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life.
-- Christopher Morley I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put
over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country
could do under first-class management.
-- Senator Soaper A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke
or worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow.
-- Charles Brower "When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory." (Friedrich Wilhelm Ni Localities As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
-- Proverbs 23:7 When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up
something appropriate and do it.
-- E. W. Howe I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
-- Mae West Localities
History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte Always behave like a duck--keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil
underneath.
-- Jacob Braude Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll, (seen attributed to "R.S. Ingersoll" - a typo?) And life is what we make it. Always has been, always will be.
-- Grandma Moses "Plato was a bore." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Localities Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. "Paper should be edible, nutritious. Inks used for printing or writing should have delicious flavors. Magazines or newspapers read at breakfast should be eaten for lunch. Instead of throwing one's mai Unfortunately, the media have trouble distinguishing between real science and propaganda
cross-dressed as science.
-- Linda Bowles, political columnist Localities
