The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.
-- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
-- Christopher Morley Nothing says loving like marrying your cousin! -- Al Bundy "A friendship that exacts oneness of opinion and conduct is not worth much." (Mohandas Gandhi, In Search of the Supreme) If it were weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
-- Rodney Dangerfield Localities Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
-- Benjamin Franklin The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes Consequences, schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich!
-- Chuck Jones-directed cartoon Localities
Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't
take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates...
-- Anonymous I am beginning to suspect all elaborate and special systems of education. They seem to me to be
built upon the supposition that every child is a kind of idiot who must be taught to think.
-- Anne S Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 - 1944) Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.
-- Albert Einstein Genius is an African who dreams up snow.
-- Vladimir Nabokov Localities "Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself--and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine wit "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.
-- Dolly Parton Localities
"A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to take it off of you." (Francois Sagan) Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
- Auric Goldfinger, in Goldfinger by Ian L. Fleming Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau ( There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and
flattens the stomachs.
-- Barbara Howar The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live.
-- Joan Borysenko Localities Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet
not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?
-- François de La Rouch "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Localities
For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.
-- Clifton Fadiman Never look at the trombones. You'll only encourage them.
-- Richard Strauss, on conducting True, we love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving. There is
always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness.
-- Friedrich Nietzsch "Let no one be discouraged by the belief there is nothing one person can do against the enormous array of the world's ills, misery, ignorance, and violence. Few will have the greatness to bend history Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-
Box.
-- Wil Shriner Localities "Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper." (Larry Flynt) If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
- Carl Sagan If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
-- Kingsley Amis Localities
Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from
history.
-- George Bernard Shaw Your every voter, as surely as your chief magistrate, exercises a public trust.
-- Grover Cleveland "Everything in my life has been determined by mistakes." (Gene Wilder) When a girl marries she exchanges the attention of many men for the inattention of one.
-- Helen Rowland "If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut." (Albert Einstein) Localities "Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt Localities
Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
-- George Bernard Shaw A really busy person never knows how much he weighs.
-- Ed Howe It was the greatest of the imperfect ventriloquist acts: when his lips moved, her body sang.
-- Tom Robbins To read a writer is for me not merely to get an idea of what he says, but to go off with him and travel in his company.
Andre Gide A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland Localities I don't know which is more discouraging, literature or chickens.
-- E. B. White What a difference there is between what we say and what we think.
-- Racine Love is only the game that is not called on account of darkness.
-- M. Hirschfield Localities
Never judge a book by its movie.
-- J. W. Eagan The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it
prevents you from achieving.
-- Russell Green Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of
the other person.
-- Mark Twain It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
-- Gore Vidal "Failure is not an option!" (Ed Harris, as Gene Kranz, Apollo 13) Localities "Life is a great surprise. I don't see why death should not be an even greater one." (Vladimir Nabokov) "Character is determined more by the lack of certain experiences than by those one has had." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "The depth and strength of a human character are defined by its moral reserves. People reveal themselves completely only when they are thrown out of the customary conditions of their life, for only th Localities
"Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational." (Charles Schultz) "The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
- Sir Winston Churchill I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
-- Carol Leifer Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason Localities There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you
yourself have altered.
-- Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted
in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism.
-- Heidi Hartmann, The Unha Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? Localities
Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.
-- George Santayana Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.
-- Virginia Woolf Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an
inquest.
-- H. L. Mencken Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the
commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete
answer. In fact, women's total ins When one is trying to do something beyond his known powers it is useless to seek the approval
of friends. Friends are at their best in moments of defeat.
-- Henry Miller Localities "Eschew the ordinary, disdain the commonplace. If you have a single-minded need for something, let it be the unusual, the esoteric, the bizarre, the unexpected..." (Chuck Jones) The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
-- B. F. Skinner I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
-- Tom Lehrer Localities
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
- H. G. Wells Thought is action in rehearsal.
-- Sigmund Freud "I'll tell you something: Luxury disgusts me." (Giorgio Armani) Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
-- Lily Tomlin I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
-- Thomas Edison Localities Establishing yourself, furnishing a house, building up a comfortable existence, and having that menace hanging over your head all the time - no, I prefer to live in hotels, cafés, just passing through A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence
University education.
-- George Bernard Shaw Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
-- Abraham Lincoln Localities
Question: Ted Kennedy: "Where was George?"
Answer: Dry, sober, and at home with his wife Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
-- Paul Boese He didn't say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech.
-- Richard Darman, director of OMB, explaining why President Bush wasn't following up on his
campaign pledge that there would be If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd Localities Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
-- Semisonic, Closing Time I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
-- Woody Allen My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. Localities
