County Offaly - Links to official sites plus a map of the county.
National Country Fair - Information on annual game fair includes details of events and exhibitions.
"One can do without people but one has need of a friend." (Chinese Proverb) Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them.
-- Ralph N. Gerard The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
-- Publilius Syrus There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
- Frank Zappa We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
-- Aristotle Offaly Love is an attempt to change a piece of the dream-world into reality.
-- Theodor Reik Ridicule is generally made use of to laugh men out of virtue and good sense, by attacking
everything praiseworthy in human life.
-- Joseph Addison "All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) Offaly
Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its
coattails.
-- Clarence Darrow Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.
-- Anonymous Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that
can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately
becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in
those tiny toil I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people
themselves.
-- August Strindberg Offaly Even overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim
poses.
-- John Weitz, American Designer The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the
bad ones.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 Offaly
There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never
were, and ask why not?
-- Robert Francis Kennedy A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.
-- Robert Frost "Friends are those people who know the words to the song in your heart and sing them back to you when you have forgotten the words." (Anonymous) I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put
over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield The better part of one's life consists of his friendships.
-- Abraham Lincoln Offaly When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his
cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that
Uncl Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Wellman died unmarried four years ago The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it.
-- Shirley MacLaine Offaly
Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
-- Ambrose Bierce If we don't change the direction we are going,
We are likely to end up where we are heading.
-- Chinese saying "Is life not a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "The face is the soul of the body." (Ludwig Wittgenstein) Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.
-- John-Paul Sartre Offaly Love matches, so called, have illusion for their father and need for their mother.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent
ages as much as 20 years.
-- Anonymous Marriage is the sole cause of divorce. Offaly
If God does not exist, then everything is permitted.
-- Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Devils My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
-- Abraham Lincoln "Man looks in the abyss, there's nothing staring back at him. At that moment, man finds his character. And that is what keeps him out of the abyss." (Hal Holbrook, Wallstreet) I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx "In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." (Andy Warhol) Offaly "Who is more foolish? The fool or the fool that follows it?" (Alec Guinness) "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
- Lucille S. Harper Offaly
"Let no one be discouraged by the belief there is nothing one person can do against the enormous array of the world's ills, misery, ignorance, and violence. Few will have the greatness to bend history Ne'er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.
-- Benjamin Franklin "God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes." (Joe Orton, Loot) Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C. Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Offaly It was just him and me. He fought with honor. If it weren't for his honor, he and the others would
have beaten me together. They might have killed me, then. His sense of honor saved my life. I
didn' Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on
a date.
-- Caroline Rhea To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.
-- Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume Offaly
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
- H. G. Wells There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From it springs the purest courtesy in the
outward behavior.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "The want of logic annoys. Too much logic bores. Life eludes logic, and everything that logic alone constructs remains artificial and forced." (André Gide) Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.
-- Gandhi A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
-- Paul Valery Offaly A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness.
-- Elsa Schiapirelli Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-
proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe
is Offaly
You can always amend a big plan, but you can never expand a little one. I don't believe in little
plans. I believe in plans big enough to meet a situation which we can't possibly foresee now.
-- Ha Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license. Practice random acts of kindness and sensless acts of beauty.
-- Adair Lara Honor lies in honest toil.
-- Grover Cleveland To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer Offaly Men have become the tools of their tools.
-- Henry David Thoreau Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of
sin.
-- John Von Neuman Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just
flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around Offaly
"People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say." (Kurt Vonnegut) Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
-- Groucho Marx "A man who flies from his fear may find he has only taken a shortcut to meet it." (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien) "Frank and explicit; that is the right line to take when you wish to conceal your own mind and to confuse the minds of others." (Benjamin Disraeli, Sybil) Propel, propel, propel your craft softly down liquid solution. Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically,
ecstatically, Existence is simply illusion.
-- Fred Rogers, parody of "Row, row, row your boa Offaly The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain
terrible.
-- Jean Kerr Immature love says: "I love you because I need you." Mature love says: "I need you because I
love you."
-- Erich Fromm War is a profession by which a man cannot live honorably; an employment by which the soldier, if
he would reap any profit, is obliged to be false, rapacious, and cruel.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli Offaly
"Think off-center." (George Carlin) People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.
-- Walter Savage Landor Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner "All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." (Edger Allen Poe) He who has a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Offaly Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
-- Oscar Wilde Propel, propel, propel your craft softly down liquid solution. Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically,
ecstatically, Existence is simply illusion.
-- Fred Rogers, parody of "Row, row, row your boa Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of
our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.
-- John Adams Offaly
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
-- William Butler Yeats, from "He wishes for the cloths of heaven" "I have the terrible feeling that, because I am wearing a white beard and am sitting in the back of the theatre, you expect me to tell you the truth about something. These are the cheap seats, not Mou Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of
the time.
-- E. B. White Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before
marriage, which is never advisable.
-- Oscar Wilde Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.
- Paul Erdos Offaly Do not let yourselves be discouraged or embittered by the smallness of the success you are likely
to achieve in trying to make life better. You certainly would not be able, in a single generation, to In the spider-web of facts, many a truth is strangled.
-- Paul Eldridge Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde Offaly
