National Union of Journalists (UK and Ireland) - The NUJ is the world's largest journalists' union, with 30,000 members in England, Scotland, Wales, and Ireland. This is its home page.
The gods too are fond of a joke.
- Aristotle "All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) I drink no more than a sponge.
-- Francis Rabelais, Works. Book i. Chap. v. Guide to understanding a net.addict's day:
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three ho If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
- Will Rogers National Union of Journalists Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing.
-- Georges Danton, to his executioner In the blithe days of honeymoon,
With Kate's allurements smitten,
I lov'd her late, I lov'd her soon,
And call'd her dearest kitten.
But now my kitten's grown a cat,
And cross like other wives.
Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
-- H. L. Mencken National Union of Journalists
We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.
-- Aesop I want to die in my sleep like my friend.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his
car.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Even overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim
poses.
-- John Weitz, American Designer Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. -- PJ O'Rourke "Dream as if you'll live forever; live as if you'll die tomorrow." (James Dean) National Union of Journalists A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top.
-- James Reston Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say "Don't trust anyone over 30."
-- Anonymous "Don't let your ego get too close to your position, so that if your position gets shot down, your ego doesn't go with it." (Colin Powell) National Union of Journalists
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
- Saint Augustine Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.
-- Lord Dewar The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
-- Publilius Syrus Every act of creation is first an act of destruction.
-- Pablo Picasso National Union of Journalists I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat
people.
-- Ed Bluestone Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.
-- George Bernard Shaw "To introduce something altogether new would mean to begin all over, to become ignorant again, and to run the old, old risk of failing to learn." (Isaac Asimov) National Union of Journalists
Look not mournfully into the Past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the Present. It is
thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy Future, without fear, and with a manly heart.
-- Henry Wadsworth Lo "It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The planting of trees is the least self-centered of all that we can do. It is a purer act of faith than
the procreation of children.
-- Thornton Wilder If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything.
-- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life "I was born lost and take no pleasure in being found..." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) National Union of Journalists "Over grown military establishments are under any form of government inauspicious to liberty, and are to be regarded as particularly hostile to republican liberty." (George Washington) Journalism consists largely in saying "Lord Jones died" to people who never knew Lord Jones
was alive.
-- G. K. Chesterton I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way
around Chinatown.
-- Woody Allen National Union of Journalists
In the sciences, we are now uniquely privileged to sit side by side with the giants on whose
shoulders we stand.
-- Gerald Holton This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love; the more they give, the more
they possess.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke "All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) Unfortunately, the media have trouble distinguishing between real science and propaganda
cross-dressed as science.
-- Linda Bowles, political columnist "Have you ever fed your pocket and starved your soul?" (Ivana Santilli, Too Deep) National Union of Journalists Our schools have been scientifically designed to prevent over-education from happening. [...] The
average American (should be) content with their humble role in life, because they're not tempted
to Guide to understanding a net.addict's day:
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three ho The first clergyman was the first rascal who met the first fool.
-- Voltaire National Union of Journalists
It is because modern education is so seldom inspired by a great hope that it so seldom achieves
great results. The wish to preserve the past rather that the hope of creating the future dominates
the There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written.
-- Oscar Wilde "A true friend stabs you in the front." (Oscar Wilde) "It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard." (Dorothy Parker, 1893-1967, US writer) "No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, g National Union of Journalists If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the
bureaucracy won't.
-- Hyman Rickover They will say you are on the wrong road, if it is your own.
-- Antonio Porchi A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
-- Walter Winchell National Union of Journalists
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K. Dick If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
-- Albert Einstein "Everything in my life has been determined by mistakes." (Gene Wilder) "Use what talents you possess; The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." (William Blake) "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) National Union of Journalists "Mothers spend a lifetime excising from their sons the influence of their fathers." (Arthur Lotti) I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put
over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield "The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right." (Mark Twain) National Union of Journalists
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
-- George Clemenceau Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
-- Anonymous If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it seems to be a minor
one.
-- Dr. W.C. Heuper of the National Cancer Institute, as quoted in the New York Times on Apri The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage. I hate work. That's why I got married.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show National Union of Journalists "An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he is neither hot nor timid." (Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield, 4th earl of) "The great aim of education is not knowledge but action." (Herbert Spencer) Man and wife make one fool. National Union of Journalists
Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry "It is neccessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live." (Alexander Dumas) "Posterity: you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it." (John Quincy Adams) Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give. -- Cass Daley "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) National Union of Journalists The only thing you take with you when you're gone is what you leave behind.
-- John Allston He would make a lovely corpse.
- Charles Dickens Silence is argument carried out by other means.
- ErnestoCheGuevara National Union of Journalists
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
- William Jennings Bryan "I am interested in anything about revolt, disorder , chaos--especially activity that seems to have no meaning. It seems to me to be the road toward freedom ... Rather than starting inside, I start ou The worth of the state, in the long run, is the worth of the individuals composing it.
-- John Stuart Mill "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) In the blithe days of honeymoon,
With Kate's allurements smitten,
I lov'd her late, I lov'd her soon,
And call'd her dearest kitten.
But now my kitten's grown a cat,
And cross like other wives.
National Union of Journalists Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl could want in her life, except for good
taste in men!
-- Wedding Toast "He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever." (Chinese Proverb) Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
- Ambrose Bierce National Union of Journalists
"Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills." (Minna Antrim) One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.
-- Virginia Woolf All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
- Ambrose Bierce If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
-- Kingsley Amis Anyone nit-picking enough to write a letter of correction to an editor doubtless deserves the error
that provoked it.
-- Alvin Toffler National Union of Journalists The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.
-- Brian Pickrell "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." (Paul Boese) Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
- Ross MacDonald National Union of Journalists
