In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson
articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are
apparently based "I have learned that to be with those I like is enough." (Walt Whitman) Reading computer manuals without the hardware is a frustrating as reading sex manuals without
the software.
-- Arthur C. Clarke Life is ours to be spent, not to be saved.
-- D.H. Lawrence "A wise man among the ignorant is as a beautiful girl in the company of blind men." (Saadi) Self-Catering That's the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how obvious they've been
all along.
-- Madeleine L'Engle I drink no more than a sponge.
-- Francis Rabelais, Works. Book i. Chap. v. No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
- William Jennings Bryan Self-Catering
"If you light a man a fire, he will be warm for a day; if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life." (Anonymous) Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.
-- Gandhi "A true friend stabs you in the front." (Oscar Wilde) "A man must dream a long time in order to act with grandeur, and dreaming is nursed in darkness." (Jean Genet) You can observe a lot by watching.
-- Yogi Berra Self-Catering Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.
-- Virginia Woolf >From error to error one discovers the entire truth.
-- Sigmund Freud The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to
contact us.
-- Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes Self-Catering
Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
- Henry Louis Mencken I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-- Michael McShane A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.
-- Albert Einstein Once all struggle is grasped, miracles are possible.
-- Mao Tse-tung Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Self-Catering "Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent." (Napoleon Bonaparte) The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-- Lily Tomlin By working faithfully eight hours a day, you might eventually get to be a boss and work twelve
hours a day.
-- ROBERT FROST Self-Catering
Despite the high cost of living it remains a popular item.
-- Anonymous If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.
-- King George V It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
- Albert Einstein Health food makes me sick.
-- Calvin Trillin Self-Catering The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism
is the equal sharing of miseries.
-- Winston Churchill He who receives an idea from me receives instruction for himself without lessening mine; as he
who lights his taper at mine receives light without darkening me.
-- Thomas Jefferson Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop
questioning.
-- Albert Einstein Self-Catering
My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in
bed with her.
-- Lenny Bruce "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) An economic forecaster is like a cross-eyed javelin thrower: they don't win many accuracy
contests, but they keep the crowd's attention.
-- Anonymous Our schools have been scientifically designed to prevent over-education from happening. [...] The
average American (should be) content with their humble role in life, because they're not tempted
to I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward Self-Catering Wind is to fire like distance is to love; it extinguishes the small and enflames the great.
-- Anonymous The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.
-- Franklin D. Roosevelt Self-Catering
"... adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, quoted in his obituary, Time) The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
-- Jackie Gleason Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the
writing will be just as it should be.
-- Mark Twain You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's
arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
-- Jonathan Carroll, Outside Better to die ten thousand deaths than wound my honor.
-- Joseph Addison Self-Catering Better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall.
-- David Chambless Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
-- George Washington The last good thing written in C++ was the Pachelbel Canon.
-- Jerry Olson Self-Catering
"It seems to me that there are two kinds of trickery: the 'fronts' people assume before one another's eyes, and the 'front' a writer puts on the face of reality." (Francois Sagan) Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
-- Robert Schuller Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.
-- Mae West I still believe in liberalism today as much as I ever did, but, oh, there was a happy time when I
believed in liberals...
-- G. K. Chesterton Self-Catering Do not assume that she who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and
quiet words that sometimes do you good. Her life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that
remains fa Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
-- Baudelaire Self-Catering
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
- Albert Einstein Laywers, I suppose, were children once.
-- Charles Lamb "Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." (George Orwell) If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters.
-- Abigail Van Buren "The easiest kind of relationship is with ten thousand people, the hardest is with one." (Joan Baez) Self-Catering A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
-- John Ciardi Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability. George Bernard
Shaw (1856 - 1950), The Devil's Disciple (1901) act 3 Self-Catering
These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
-- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995 Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.
-- James Stephens "Self-confidence is the first requisite for achieving great things." (Samuel Johnson) People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.
-- Otto von Bismarck "Paper should be edible, nutritious. Inks used for printing or writing should have delicious flavors. Magazines or newspapers read at breakfast should be eaten for lunch. Instead of throwing one's mai Self-Catering A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
-- Joseph Addison It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. -- Guitry Self-Catering
Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
-- T.S. Eliot That's the nature of research--you don't know what in hell you're doing.
-- 'Doc' Edgerton The great end of life is not knowledge, but action. What men need is as much knowledge as they
can organize for action; give them more and it may become injurious. Some men are heavy and
stupid from Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the
commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete
answer. In fact, women's total ins "Some people must go to extremes to get the world in balance for themselves. Some can't bear bright lights, so wherever they go they search for the dark; they turn the lights down, anything to sustain Self-Catering 2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time.
-- inside of a Pepsi cap I could prove God statistically.
-- George Gallup Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
-- M. C. Reed Self-Catering
I just want what every married woman wants, someone besides her husband to sleep with.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show "Vegiburgers are wrong." (Mike Kaup) Whoever controls the media--the images--controls the culture.
-- Allen Ginsberg The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
-- Paul Valery Self-Catering If I tell a lie it's only because I think I'm telling the truth.
-- Phil Gaglardi, Minister of Highways, British Columbia, Canada "Good taste is the first refuge of the non-creative. It is the last-ditch stand of the artist." (Marshall McLuhan) The only thing you will ever be able to say in the so-called 'social' sciences is: "some do, some
don't."
-- Ernest Rutherford Self-Catering
