If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry. -- Chekhov "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every
morning and say, "How's the President?"
-- Will Rogers "A true friend stabs you in the front." (Oscar Wilde) "All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) Guides and Directories We have drugs to make women speak, but none to keep them silent.
-- Anatole France Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.
-- Albert Camus A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
- Helen Rowland Guides and Directories
If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
-- Jenny Weber "Better to be deprived of food for three days than tea for one." (Chinese Proverb) Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
-- T.S. Eliot I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
-- Woody Allen If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
-- Anonymous Guides and Directories Great eaters and great sleepers are incapable of anything else that is great.
-- William Shakespeare, Henry IV The less their ability, the more their conceit.
Ahad HaAm "I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me." (George Bernard Shaw) Guides and Directories
Intelligence has nothing to do with politics.
-- Londo Molari Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In
this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
-- Marianne Williamson The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent
crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry
inspe The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.
-- Mother Teresa The democratic theory is that if you accumulate enough ignorance at the polls, you produce
intelligence.
-- Philo Vance Guides and Directories Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
-- Niels Bohr Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror.
-- Byrd Baggett Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Wellman died unmarried four years ago Guides and Directories
Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but hurled with great force.
-- Dorothy Parker "If you meet a woman that smokes cigars ... marry her." (Arthur Lotti) You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.
-- John Ciardi "Commit yourself to quality from day one ... it's better to do nothing at all than to do something badly." (Mark McCormack) Guides and Directories I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
-- Carol Leifer The more I know about people, the better I like my dog.
-- Mark Twain Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
- Honore de Balzac Guides and Directories
Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
-- B.F. Skinner We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. -- Groucho Marx "I praise loudly. I blame softly." (Catherine the Great) There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
- Elbert Hubbard Guides and Directories "Do not go gentle into that good night. Old age should burn and rave at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light." (Dylan Thomas) I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
-- Woody Allen Health food makes me sick.
-- Calvin Trillin Guides and Directories
Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an
inquest.
-- H. L. Mencken Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue.
-- Hermione Gingold If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
-- Lily Tomlin I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? -- Phyllis Diller Marriage is a rest period between romances. Guides and Directories My Alma mater was books, a good library . . . . I could spend the rest of my life reading, just
satisfying my curiosity.
--Malcolm X In the end, everything is a gag.
-- Charlie Chaplin Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
-- Mae West Guides and Directories
What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
-- Woody Allen "Nothing has been purchased more dearly than the little bit of reason and sense of freedom which now constitutes our pride." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness.
-- Elsa Schiapirelli Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
- Karl Wallenda Marriage is an institution--but who wants to live in an institution? Guides and Directories Genius is an African who dreams up snow.
-- Vladimir Nabokov Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
-- Bob Perelman "In some ways, I never outgrew my adolescence. I wake up in the morning and think, 'Oh my God, I'm late for a math test!' But then I say, 'Wait a minute. I'm 40.'" (Daniel Clowes) Guides and Directories
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.
-- Dolly Parton I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein Life - a sexually transmitted terminal condition.
-- Walter Prager There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never
were, and ask why not?
-- Robert Francis Kennedy Guides and Directories [You reporters] should have printed what he meant, not what he said.
-- Earl Bush, press aide to Richard Daley It is never too late to be what you might have been.
-- George Eliot Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
- Gail Godwin Guides and Directories
The closer I'm bound in love to you, the closer I am to free.
-- Indigo Girls, song lyric I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
-- Gandhi Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, "Certainly, I can!" Then get busy and find
out how to do it.
-- Theodore Roosevelt We never reflect how pleasant it is to ask for nothing.
-- Seneca A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
-- Gloria Steinem Guides and Directories They think they can make fuel from horse manure.... Now, I don't know if your car will be able to
get 30 miles to the gallon, but it's sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.
-- Billie Holliday "Love matches, so called, have illusion for their father and need for their mother." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) There are trivial truths, and there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
-- Neils Bohr Guides and Directories
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
-- Johnny Carson I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up.
-- Barbara Bush, first lady, 1989 Who, being loved, is poor?
-- Oscar Wilde As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are
certain, they do not refer to reality.
-- Albert Einstein "The man who never made a mistake never made anything." (Derek Longdon, Tongariro Power Development, Turangi, New Zealand) Guides and Directories The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal consistency of the women who
love me.
-- George Bernard Shaw It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.
-- Pierre Augustin de Beaumarchais His ignorance is encyclopedic
- Abba Eban Guides and Directories
Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
-- Mother Teresa Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.
-- Alvin Toffler "Be the change that you want to see in the world." (Mohandas Gandhi) We have drugs to make women speak, but none to keep them silent.
-- Anatole France I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day.
-- Vincent Van Gogh Guides and Directories I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that
M&Ms really do melt in your hand...
-- Peter Oakley If people turn to look at you on the street, you are not well dressed.
-- Beau Brummel If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth Guides and Directories
