Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
-- J. Heller To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it;
whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Ogden Nash Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.
-- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia Redcross The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort All that is gold does not glitter. Not all those who wander are lost;
-- J.R.R. Tolkein "Eschew the ordinary, disdain the commonplace. If you have a single-minded need for something, let it be the unusual, the esoteric, the bizarre, the unexpected..." (Chuck Jones) Redcross
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
- Lao-Tzu Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
-- George Bernard Shaw Nothing says loving like marrying your cousin! -- Al Bundy Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.
-- Samuel Butler One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.
-- Virginia Woolf Redcross "I am a part of all that I have met." (Alfred Lord Tennyson, 1809-1892, English poet) Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.
-- King George V It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
-- Woody Allen Redcross
"Whether it is a black cat or a white cat, as long as it can catch the rat, it is a good cat." (Deng Xiao Ping) My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! A beauty is a woman you notice; A charmer is one who notices you.
-- Adlai Stevenson "Yes, I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can find his way by moonlight, and see the dawn before the rest of the world." (Oscar Wilde) We have to keep trying things we're not sure we can pull off. If we just do the things we know we
can do... you don't grow as much. You gotta take those chances on making those big mistakes.
-- Cybi Redcross Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.
-- Virginia Woolf "Hold the fort! I am coming!" (General William Tecumseh Sherman) "An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal ailment of all republics." (Plutarch) Redcross
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
- Napoleon Bonaparte Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without
feminine upheaval. Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the fair sex,
the ugl Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. "The devil's agents may be of flesh and blood, may they not?" (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Hound of the Baskervilles) Where there is an unknowable there is a promise.
-- Thornton Wilder Redcross It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.
-- St. Francis of Assisi Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan. History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte Redcross
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the
moment.
-- Robert Benchley May you learn to perform miracles: earn a living and marry off your daughters. Multimedia? As far as I'm concerned, it's reading with the radio on!
-- Rory Bremner "I fear we are not getting rid of God because we still believe in grammar." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) An eye for an eye only leads to more blindness.
-- Margaret Atwood Redcross Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop.
-- Anonymous Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to
criticize others.
-- H. Jackson Brown The church is the great lost and found department.
-- Robert Short Redcross
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
-- Buckminster Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
- Benjamin Franklin "Pay no attention to what the critics say; there has never been set up a statue in honor of a critic." (Jean Sibelius) "I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you and education." (Wilson Mizner) I was nauseous and tingly all over... I was either in love or I had smallpox.
-- Woody Allen Redcross The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it.
-- Lou Holtz Once all struggle is grasped, miracles are possible.
-- Mao Tse-tung I once asked my history teacher how we were expected to learn anything useful from his subject,
when it seemed to me to be nothing but a monotonous and sordid succession of robber baron
scumbags dev Redcross
"These are days you'll remember." If you recall nothing else from your graduation ceremony,
remember you heard the New Jersey Governor quote from 10,000 Maniacs.
-- Christine Todd, NJ Governor, Whea We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
- Vince Lombardi It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by
the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off!
-- Douglas Jerold, 1858 There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats.
-- Albert Schweitzer Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The
gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.
-- Thomas Arnold Bennet Redcross I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
-- Sam Kinison "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx Redcross
If God had meant us to vote, He would have given us candidates.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and
remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't
work and the "God is Man's stupidest idea." (Marcel Duchamp, French Dadaist) Generations to come will find it difficult to believe that a man such as Gandhi ever walked the
face of this earth.
-- Albert Einstein "There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." (Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom) Redcross Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday
afternoon.
-- Susan Ertz Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anon. We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Redcross
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry "Not only is there no guarantee of the temporal immortality of the human soul, that is to say of its eternal survival after death; but, in any case, this assumption completely fails to accomplish the "If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." (Anatole France) Live TV died in the late 1950s, electronic bulletin boards came along in the mid-1980s, meaning
there was about a 25-year gap when it was difficult to put your foot in your mouth and have
people all "By seeing the seed of failure in every success, we remain humble. By seeing the seed of success in every failure we remain hopeful." (Mel Ziegler, founder of Banana Republic) Redcross Guide to understanding a net.addict's day:
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three ho You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
-- Henny Youngman The planting of trees is the least self-centered of all that we can do. It is a purer act of faith than
the procreation of children.
-- Thornton Wilder Redcross
Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
-- Helen Keller My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way. We have to keep trying things we're not sure we can pull off. If we just do the things we know we
can do... you don't grow as much. You gotta take those chances on making those big mistakes.
-- Cybi "If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) "Love matches, so called, have illusion for their father and need for their mother." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Redcross "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." (Bible, Proverbs 16:24) I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence.
-- Doug MacLeod "That's the true sign. If the lover has not yet achieved his prize, his eyes will follow the woman, while she appears indifferent. But once he's gained his goal, it's the woman's eyes that follow him, Redcross
"Some look at things that are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were and ask why not?" (George Bernard Shaw) "Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies." (Gore Vidal) "Do something for the joy of doing it and pray you won't be punished." (Sammy Cahn) I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.
-- Mark Twain Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc
jockey is not allowed to talk.
-- Fran Lebowitz Redcross A thing is not necessarily true because badly uttered, nor false because spoken magnificently.
-- St. Augustine Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.
-- Judith Viorst Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
-- Carl Gustav Jung Redcross
