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Onchan Links

Onchan Online - From the District Commissioners. Contains history, events, clubs, community calendar, and tourist information.
2nd Onchan Scouts Phoenix Troop - Extensive information about the troop, facilities, and activities. Also includes a guest book, and details of how to book the hall.
Onchan Football Club - Members, match reports. fixtures, photographs, statistics, and forums.
Liverpool Arms Country Pub - Information about the Baldrine pub, including what's on, menus and contact details.
Banks Howe - Located in Onchan, just outside the Island's capital, Douglas. Includes tariffs, contact information and photos.
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. -- Henry David Thoreau, Walden (1854) Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats. -- Howard Aiken Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right. -- Henry Ford Giving a man space is like giving a dog a computer: the chances are he will not use it wisely. -- Bette-Jane Raphael "See - one side of my face is gentle and kind, incapable of anything but love of my fellow man. The other side, the other profile, is cruel and predatory and evil, incapable of anything but lusts and Onchan "You believe that flag burning shows disrespect towards those who have fought to preserve our freedoms. Punishing protestors shows an even more profound disrespect for the ideals that these people die Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back. -- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if he finds her. -- Benjamin Tillett Onchan I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it ha Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too. -- H. L. Mencken There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. -- Albert Einstein There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder... It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician Onchan Does anal retentive have a hyphen? -- Seen on a t-shirt The grand aim of all science is to cover the greatest number of empirical facts by logical deduction from the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms. -- Albert Einstein "Do you know that places only yield up their secrets, their most profound mysteries, to those who are just passing through?" (Salman Rushdie, The Moor's Last Sigh) Onchan In the spider-web of facts, many a truth is strangled. -- Paul Eldridge No one finds life worth living; he must make it worth living. -- Anon. Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. - Isaac Asimov Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without feminine upheaval. Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the fair sex, the ugl In the blithe days of honeymoon, With Kate's allurements smitten, I lov'd her late, I lov'd her soon, And call'd her dearest kitten. But now my kitten's grown a cat, And cross like other wives. Onchan "To be great is to be misunderstood." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present. -- Roger Babson The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous str Onchan A man who marries a woman to educate her falls a victim to the same fallacy as the woman who marries a man to reform him. -- Elbert Hubbard In the early sixties, we were strong, we were virulent... -- John Connally, Secretary of Treasury under Richard Nixon, in an early 70s speech, as reported in a contemporary "American Scholar" "It is neccessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live." (Alexander Dumas) "Humans beings can always be relied upon to assert, with vigor, their god-given right to be stupid." (Dean Koontz, Seize the Night) "It ends not with a bang, but a whimper." (Thomas Stearns Eliot, aka T. S. Eliot, The Hollow Man) Onchan I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often, but I'm well preserved. -- Rose Kennedy, (1890-1995) family matriarch, on her 100th birthday, 1991 If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything. -- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life "A conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) Onchan "Talent does what it can; genius does what it must." (Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton) Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open. -- Thomas Dewar I think one of the reasons I'm popular again is because I'm wearing a tie. You have to be different. -- Tony Bennett, 1995 Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution? -- Marx Groucho, the film "Animal Crackers" English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. Onchan Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don't think. -- Anon. Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think. -- Niels Bohr Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise. -- John Heywood Onchan "What dies if freedom lives? What lives if freedom dies?" (Lindsay Anderson, British filmmaker, from if.... (1968) "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." (Oscar Wilde, his last recorded words) I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it ha "The order of the world is always right - such is the judgment of God. For God has departed, but he has left his judgment behind, the way the Cheshire Cat left his grin." (Jean Baudrillard) The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. -- Jackie Gleason Onchan The child is the father of the man. -- William Wordsworth Unfortunately, the media have trouble distinguishing between real science and propaganda cross-dressed as science. -- Linda Bowles, political columnist A girl must marry for love and keep on marrying until she finds it. -- Zsa Zsa Gabor Onchan "It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) If you can't convince them, confuse them. -- Harry S. Truman The planting of trees is the least self-centered of all that we can do. It is a purer act of faith than the procreation of children. -- Thornton Wilder "Those who feel certainty are stupid and those with any imagination or understanding are filled with doubt and indecision." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) "Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences." (Isadora Duncan) Onchan "Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) I could prove God statistically. -- George Gallup I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted. -- Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic wastes to Third Wo Onchan "See - one side of my face is gentle and kind, incapable of anything but love of my fellow man. The other side, the other profile, is cruel and predatory and evil, incapable of anything but lusts and The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts. -- Paul Ehrlich A person starts to live when he can live outside himself. -- Albert Einstein There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered. -- Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to be perfectly deaf. -- Oscar Wilde Onchan The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do. -- B. F. Skinner Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwile careers in the street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of u "It is the nature of a man as he grows older, a small bridge in time, to protest against change, particularly change for the better." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) Onchan May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important. -- Lisa Hoffman The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible. -- Jean Kerr When looking back, usually I'm more sorry for the things I didn't do than for the things I shouldn't have done. -- Malcolm Forbes What do you take me for, an idiot? - General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy Onchan "Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them." (Samuel Butler) If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to get a 'fix' of something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that netnews is far more addictive than cocaine. Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit. Onchan For most of history, Anonymous was a woman. -- Virginia Woolf Some birds aren't meant to be caged, their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up, does rejoice. I guess I just miss my friend. Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. -- Joan Crawford I'm not indecisive. Am I indecisive? -- Jim Scheibel, mayor, St. Paul MN In the late 1600s the finest instruments originated from three rural families whose workshops were side by side in the Italian village of Cremona. First were the Amatis, and outside their shop hung Onchan "The key to wisdom is knowing all the right questions." (John A. Simone Jr.) However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my usual manner...sulking and nausea. -- Tom K. Ryan When looking back, usually I'm more sorry for the things I didn't do than for the things I shouldn't have done. -- Malcolm Forbes Onchan "The dancer's body is simply the luminous manifestation of the soul." (Isadora Duncan) I find television very educating. Every time sombody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. -- Groucho Marx "The happy people are failures because they are on such good terms with themselves they don't give a damn." (Agatha Christie) Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. -- Wynn Catlin, also attributed to Will Rogers There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse! -- Calvin Onchan There is nothing so wrong in this world that a sensible woman can't set it right in the course of an afternoon. -- Giraudoux Computers will not be perfected until they can compute how much more than the estimate the job will cost. -- Anon There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From it springs the purest courtesy in the outward behavior. -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Onchan
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