The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
- General George Patton "I should reproach him for not giving us enough evidence." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970, what he would say to God if they 'met') Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
-- Marx Groucho, the film "Animal Crackers" Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would
be doing if he were alive today?
1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
2) Advising the President.
3) D Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of
humor is just common sense, dancing.
-- Clive James Investing I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!
-- Woody Allen Nothing that was worthy in the past departs; no truth or goodness realized by man ever dies, or
can die.
-- Thomas Carlyle Saying that men talk about baseball in order to avoid talking about their feelings is the same as
saying that women talk about their feelings in order to avoid talking about baseball.
-- Deborah Tan Investing
What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crowf As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
-- Proverbs 23:7 "I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter." (Blaise Pascal) The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage. I drink no more than a sponge.
-- Francis Rabelais, Works. Book i. Chap. v. Investing I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
-- Douglas Adams Well, I think that it's a- it's had some difficult times but I think we have- we, I think, have been able
to make some very good progress and it's- I would say that it's- it's- it's delightful that w The person who is slowest in making a promise is most faithful in its performance.
-- Jean-Jacques Rousseau Investing
Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche "I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead." (Oscar Wilde) "Have you ever fed your pocket and starved your soul?" (Ivana Santilli, Too Deep) Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
-- Red Buttons "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to take it off of you." (Francois Sagan) Investing "Ninety percent of my salary I spent on booze and women ... and the other ten percent I wasted." (Tug McGraw, Major League Baseball pitcher) "The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right." (Mark Twain) Thought is action in rehearsal.
-- Sigmund Freud Investing
Teach a parrot the terms "supply and demand" and you've got an economist.
-- Thomas Carlyle Ninety percent of everything is crap.
-- Theodore Sturgeon Only the little people pay taxes.
-- Leona Helmsley, hotel owner and prison inmate, 1989 Drink to me.
-- Pablo Picasso, dying words "Do something for the joy of doing it and pray you won't be punished." (Sammy Cahn) Investing We trained hard - but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we were
reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing,
and A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary.
-- Thomas Carruthers One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do
what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford Investing
I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
-- Woody Allen The Churches must learn humility as well as teach it.
-- George Bernard Shaw, St. Joan Author: A fool, who, not content with having bored those who have lived with him, insists on
tormenting the generations to come.
-- Montesquieu This is the fourth?
-- Thomas Jefferson, dying words You've no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it.
-- W.S. Gilbert Investing My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her. Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
-- Igor Stravinsky Investing
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit." (Aristotle) "Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget." (G. Randolf) I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to
know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
- Clarence Darrow, then the world 's mine oyster
-- William Shakespeare, The Merry Wives of Windsor Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C. Investing The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.
-- Brian Pickrell "These are days you'll remember." If you recall nothing else from your graduation ceremony,
remember you heard the New Jersey Governor quote from 10,000 Maniacs.
-- Christine Todd, NJ Governor, Whea Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
-- Cecilia Egan Investing
Discovery consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else does and thinking something
different.
-- Albert Szent-Gyorgyi, 1937 Nobel Prize in Physiology and Medicine Never moon a werewolf.
-- Mike Binder The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard "I've just had eighteen straight whiskies. I think that's the record." (Dylan Thomas, final words) Parents are the bones upon which children sharpen their teeth.
-- Peter Ustinov Investing In the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls.
-- Lenny Bruce "I fear we are not getting rid of God because we still believe in grammar." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.
-- Channing Pollack Investing
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
-- John Stuart Mill "Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) In a cat's eyes, all things belong to cats.
-- English Proverb The open-minded see the truth in different things: the narrow-minded see only the differences.
-- Author Unknown Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
-- Victor Borge Investing Marriage is a rest period between romances. A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
-- Carl Sandburg Most convicted felons are just people who were not taken to museums or Broadway musicals as
children.
-- Libby Gelman-Waxner Investing
"A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men." (Roald Dahl) "Education is a vacine for violence." (Edward James Olmos) Twenty years fron now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones
you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in
your "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch.
-- Gilda Radner Investing "It is neccessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live." (Alexander Dumas) "Do you know that places only yield up their secrets, their most profound mysteries, to those who are just passing through?" (Salman Rushdie, The Moor's Last Sigh) "The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) Investing
Women's liberationists spread the word that...the only peaceful family is one in which either the
wife is enslaved or the husband is androgynous.
-- R. Emmett Tyell, The Liberal Crack-Up, 1984 For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
-- Lily Tomlin Life is not an easy matter.... You cannot live through it without falling into frustration and cynicism
unless you have before you a great idea which raises you above personal misery, above
weakness Investing Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.
-- Salvador Dali "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." (George Carlin) Teaching is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a losttradition.
-- Jacques Barzun Investing
The more we do, the more we can do; the more busy we are the more leisure we have.
-- William Hazlitt "A man is only as faithful as his opportunity." (Chris Rock) ...the fog is rising.
-- Emily Dickinson, dying words "A man who flies from his fear may find he has only taken a shortcut to meet it." (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien) "I never learned from a man who agreed with me." (Robert A. Heinlein) Investing It is not necessary that whilst I live I live happily; but it is necessary that so long as I live I should
live honourably.
-- Kant, Immanuel May you learn to perform miracles: earn a living and marry off your daughters. The only weapon that becomes sharper with constant use is the tongue.
-- Anonymous Investing
