Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
-- Mark Twain The honest poor can sometimes forget poverty. The honest rich can never forget it.
-- G. K. Chesterton They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits.
-- Joe Early, Congressman (D-Mass), at a press conference to answer questions about the
House Bank scandal Where there is an unknowable there is a promise.
-- Thornton Wilder blah "Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together." (Vincent van Gogh) D "To avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." (Elbert Hubbard, American author, 1856-1915) Spinster: A bachelor's wife. All science is concerned with the relationship of cause and effect. Each scientific discovery
increases man's ability to predict the consequences of his actions and thus his ability to control
futur D
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
- Henry Ford "What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for
appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George bernard Shaw Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than
the wisest man can answer.
-- Charles Caleb Colton A beauty is a woman you notice; A charmer is one who notices you.
-- Adlai Stevenson D "Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies." (Gore Vidal) "The man who never made a mistake never made anything." (Derek Longdon, Tongariro Power Development, Turangi, New Zealand) I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can
write better.
- A. J. Liebling D
blah "Some of the worlds greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. unattributed" (Anonymous) Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
-- Groucho Marx "These are days you'll remember." If you recall nothing else from your graduation ceremony,
remember you heard the New Jersey Governor quote from 10,000 Maniacs.
-- Christine Todd, NJ Governor, Whea In marriage, the bridge gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains! In the sciences, we are now uniquely privileged to sit side by side with the giants on whose
shoulders we stand.
-- Gerald Holton D Goodbye, Everybody!
-- Hart Crane, poet, who committed suicide by jumping overboard during a steamship voyage. I've been trying desperately to save my marriage for the last 35 years. "Talent does what it can; genius does what it must." (Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton) D
I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.
-- Euripides In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Therefore:
? In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its
duties.
? Work The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.
-- Aaron Machado He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
-- J. Heller God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at
the same time.
- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair D Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and
illiterate sport fishermen.
-- P. J. O'Rourke The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx "We must view young people not as empty bottles to be filled but as candles to be lit." (Robert Shaffer) D
blah "If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves." (Thomas Alva Edison) "The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning, but without understanding." (Louis Brandeis) "I know that God won't give me more trouble than I can handle ... but sometimes I wish he wouldn't trust me so much." (Mother Teresa) I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up.
-- Barbara Bush, first lady, 1989 "In fact, most deaths are not tragic. Few people die because of a flaw in character, which is the essential element of tragedy. They just die." (John Chancellor, The News Business) D History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
-- Winston Churchill I once asked my history teacher how we were expected to learn anything useful from his subject,
when it seemed to me to be nothing but a monotonous and sordid succession of robber baron
scumbags dev If ever I get married again it would have to be under an anaesthetic.
-- Marie Tonkin D
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
-- Carl Gustav Jung Live out of your imagination, not your history.
-- Stephen Covey If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
-- Voltaire The average person thinks he isn't.
- Father Larry Lorenzoni "Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared." (Eddie Rickenbacker) D I'll sleep when I'm dead.
- Warren Zevon Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
- Mark Twain "O' What may man within him hide, though angel on the outward side!" (William Shakespeare) D
"Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes." (Oscar Wilde) If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
- Carl Sagan CAPITAL, n. The seat of misgovernment. That which provides the fire, the pot, the dinner, the
table and the knife and fork for the anarchist; the part of the repast that himself supplies is the
disg Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage.
-- Jean Anouilh Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does
not change his mind.
-- Leonardo da Vinci, Notebooks D A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
- Paul Erdos Education is not filling a bucket, but lighting a fire.
-- William Yeats Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five
isn't bad.
-- Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994 D
"Failure is not an option!" (Ed Harris, as Gene Kranz, Apollo 13) It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
- G. B. Burgin "A conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) "The want of logic annoys. Too much logic bores. Life eludes logic, and everything that logic alone constructs remains artificial and forced." (André Gide) "A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men." (Roald Dahl) D It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.
-- Mae West I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can
never tell.
-- Joan Crawford D
During the first period of a man's life the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
-- Soren Kierkegaard "Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck." (George Sanders, suicide note) The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
- Samuel Johnson "One will rarely err if extreme actions be ascribed to vanity, ordinary actions to habit, and mean actions to fear." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw D Laywers, I suppose, were children once.
-- Charles Lamb When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims
of intact ones.
-- Peter DeVries "No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous." (Henry B. Adams) D
If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
-- Albert Einstein With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow.
-- Wedding Vow, Book of Common Prayer "If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) We haven't the money, so we've got to think.
-- Lord Rutherford "REASONABLE, adj. Accessible to the infection of our own opinions. Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion." (Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary) D Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.
-- Emily Dickinson It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out next morning it was
someone else.
-- Rogers "Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under." (Henry Louis Mencken) D
"Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments." (Anonymous) Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop
questioning.
-- Albert Einstein Do you not know, my son, with what little understanding the world is ruled?
-- Pope Julius III The less their ability, the more their conceit.
Ahad HaAm People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.
-- Walter Savage Landor D "If a man has good corn, or wood, or boards, or pigs to sell, or can make better chairs or knives, crucibles, or church organs, than anybody else, you will find a broad, hard-beaten road to his house, We had a lot in common. I loved him and he loved him.
-- Shelley Winters "College professors are the people who can't hack it in the real world." (William Thomas) D
