"A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men." (Roald Dahl) Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
-- John F. Kennedy Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you
get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a
The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but
newspapers.
-- Thomas Jefferson "Nothing touches a work of art so little as words of criticism: they always result in more or less fortunate misunderstandings." (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet) L "Learn from the mistakes of others--you can never live long enough to make them all yourself." (John Luther) Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...and the only one that can be mass
produced with unskilled labor.
-- Wernher von Braun The difference between a man who faces death for the sake of an idea and an imitator who goes
in search of martyrdom is that the former expresses his idea most fully in death while the latter
really L
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
-- J. Heller Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country
could do under first-class management.
-- Senator Soaper "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
-- Rose Franken "I think all great innovations are built on rejections." (Louis-Ferdinand Céline) L "Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism." (Dave Barry) 'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
-- ee cummings I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.
-- Euripides L
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of
sin.
-- John Von Neuman The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
-- Ghandi Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
-- Lily Tomlin "People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say." (Kurt Vonnegut) L A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Goethe "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
-- Jackie Gleason L
For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: "It might have been!"
-- John Greenleaf Whittier "I was a total loner, not by self-design. I just didn't know what the hell to say to people. I was so shy. I used to stammer and lisp and dribble at the mouth." (Sir Anthony Hopkins, on his youth) Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
-- Virginia Woolf "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) No matter who you vote for, the Government always gets in.
-- Anon. L Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through
self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
-- Helen Keller "The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) "College professors are the people who can't hack it in the real world." (William Thomas) L
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr "Those that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." (Benjamin Franklin) "The want of logic annoys. Too much logic bores. Life eludes logic, and everything that logic alone constructs remains artificial and forced." (André Gide) The only thing you take with you when you're gone is what you leave behind.
-- John Allston The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard L "I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is." (Alan Watts) Keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.
-- Roger Babson "I have the terrible feeling that, because I am wearing a white beard and am sitting in the back of the theatre, you expect me to tell you the truth about something. These are the cheap seats, not Mou L
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
-- Charlie Chaplin Giving a man space is like giving a dog a computer: the chances are he will not use it wisely.
-- Bette-Jane Raphael "I run to see who has the most guts." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) To teach is to learn twice.
-- Joseph Joubert "Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil) L "I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we've been voting for boobs
long enough."
-- Arizona senatorial candidate Claire Sargent, on women candidates There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
-- George Bernard Shaw A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
-- John Ciardi L
"I'll tell you something: Luxury disgusts me." (Giorgio Armani) I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute. I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't
certain we knew better.
-- George Bird Evans If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
-- Albert Einstein L Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
-- Anon. In the blithe days of honeymoon,
With Kate's allurements smitten,
I lov'd her late, I lov'd her soon,
And call'd her dearest kitten.
But now my kitten's grown a cat,
And cross like other wives.
Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing.
-- Georges Danton, to his executioner L
"When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory." (Friedrich Wilhelm Ni Lawyers are... operators of the toll bridge which anyone in search of justice must pass.
-- Jane Bryant Quinn Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.
-- Jerry Garcia He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
- Abraham Lincoln "You make 'em, I amuse 'em." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, on children) L "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise. Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...and the only one that can be mass
produced with unskilled labor.
-- Wernher von Braun L
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
-- Groucho Marx "If you assume that there's no hope, you guarantee that there will be no hope. If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, there are opportunities to change things, there's a chance for you t For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-
knowing.
- Henry Louis Mencken "What is the difference between exploring and being lost?" (Dan Eldon, photojournalist) If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.
-- Virginia Woolf L Anyone nit-picking enough to write a letter of correction to an editor doubtless deserves the error
that provoked it.
-- Alvin Toffler "I offer images; I conjure memories of freedom that can still be reached ... But, we can only open the doors. We can't drag people through. I can't free them unless they want to be free--more than any I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
-- Mae West L
Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo... The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a
lot less.
-- Brendon Behan If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve
them.
-- Robert Graves "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its
coattails.
-- Clarence Darrow L Learn to laugh at your troubles and you'll never run out of things to laugh at.
-- Lyn Karol "Character is determined more by the lack of certain experiences than by those one has had." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "If you meet a woman that smokes cigars ... marry her." (Arthur Lotti) L
Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.
-- James Stephens The advice your son rejected is now being given by him to your grandson. Imagination is the highest kite one can fly.
-- Lauren Bacall If God does not exist, then everything is permitted.
-- Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Devils Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings L Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
- Jimmy Durante To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive, and the true success is to labour.
-- Robert L. Stevenson When you've spent half your political life dealing with humdrum issues like the environment... it's
exciting to have a real crisis on your hands.
-- Margaret Thatcher, on the Falklands Conflict L
