In the end, everything is a gag.
- Charlie Chaplin Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
-- Alphonse Allais "Whether it is a black cat or a white cat, as long as it can catch the rat, it is a good cat." (Deng Xiao Ping) The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
- Mahatma Gandhi Q People may or may not say what they mean ... but they always say something designed to get
what they want.
-- David Mamet The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
- Samuel Johnson Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop
questioning.
-- Albert Einstein Q
The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same
time, and still retain the ability to function.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
-- Mark Twain Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
-- Red Buttons Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
-- Oscar Wilde To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
-- Ghandi Q Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of
opportunity.
-- George Bernard Shaw "Deep down, no one really believes they have a right to live. But this death sentence generally stays tucked away, hidden beneath the difficulty of living. If that difficulty is removed from time to t the social sciences were for all those who had not yet decided what to do with their lives, and for
all those whose premature frustrations led them into the sterile alleys of confrontation.
-- Peter Q
If we do not maintain Justice, Justice will not maintain us.
-- Francis Bacon "To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being.
-- Tom Robbins The great man fights the elements in his time that hinder his own greatness, in other words his own freedom and sincerity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) Q "The man who lets himself be bored is even more contemptible than the bore." (Samuel Butler) "Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
-- Oscar Wilde Q
Nothing says lovin' like marrying your cousin!
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show "Vegiburgers are wrong." (Mike Kaup) "For others do I wait ... for higher ones, stronger ones, more triumphant ones, merrier ones, for such as are built squarely in body and soul: laughing lions must come." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
- Karl Wallenda It was a day like this Marco Polo left for China. What are your plans for today?
--Loesje Q "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e "Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of food." (George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman) "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) Q
When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find
that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our
pain They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so
brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind.
-- Cindy Crawford, supermodel "Club Secretary: I say, Lawrence. You are a clown!
Lawrence: We can't all be lion tamers." (Thomas Edward Lawrence, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) The Churches must learn humility as well as teach it.
-- George Bernard Shaw, St. Joan I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
-- Thomas Edison Q I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way
around Chinatown.
-- Woody Allen Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
-- Paul Boese You can close your eyes to reality, but not to memories.
-- Stanislaw J. Lem Q
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley "A man who flies from his fear may find he has only taken a shortcut to meet it." (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien) Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.
-- Albert Camus The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
- definition of happiness by John F. Kennedy All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story Q "If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat." (Mark Twain) When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
-- Clarence Darrow Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
- Isaac Asimov Q
Paradoxically though it may seem, it is none the less true that life imitates art far more than art
imitates life.
-- Oscar Wilde blah "An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that she may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion." ( The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going
to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen Two souls with but a single thought,
Two hearts that beat as one.
-- Fredrich Halm "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." (John Benfield) Q If people turn to look at you on the street, you are not well dressed.
-- Beau Brummel Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.
-- Grace Hansen If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
-- George Bernard Shaw Q
"Drugs have done a lot of good. A lot of good songs have been written. 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. 'Dark Side of the Moon?' 100 dead kids. At least that many were conceived by people listening He who kisses the joy is it flies lives in eternity's sunrise
-- William Blake Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
-- Oscar Wilde In times of profound change, the learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves
beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.
-- Al Rogers, Global SchoolHouse Netw "One pretty good definition of college is that it's a place where people are made to read difficult books." (Jonathan Franzen) Q It is because modern education is so seldom inspired by a great hope that it so seldom achieves
great results. The wish to preserve the past rather that the hope of creating the future dominates
the There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and
why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and
inex "I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter." (Blaise Pascal) Q
When yer in a funk, people in love are a royal pain in the patookus.
-- Portnoy, character in "Outland," comic strip by Berkely Breathed Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a
brand new ending.
-- Anonymous Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
-- Anon. "That's the true sign. If the lover has not yet achieved his prize, his eyes will follow the woman, while she appears indifferent. But once he's gained his goal, it's the woman's eyes that follow him, Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and
joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality--not
as Q For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt then the world 's mine oyster
-- William Shakespeare, The Merry Wives of Windsor Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
-- George Bernard Shaw Q
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein "Like as the waves make towards the pebbl'd shore, so do our minutes, hasten to their end." (William Shakespeare) To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive, and the true success is to labour.
-- Robert L. Stevenson "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." (John Benfield) Q If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
- Carl Sagan I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
-- Henny Youngman Q
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a
holding pattern over Philadelphia.
-- Judith Viorst Logic is in the eye of the logician.
- Gloria Steinem blah "Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then be trusted with the government of others? Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him? Education is the state-controlled manufacture of echoes.
-- Norman Douglas You will marry into an Indian tribe and become one big Hopi family. Q "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead, 1901-78) When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws. "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." (Dennis Wholey) Q
