Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson "The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves." (William Hazlitt) For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) Honor the ocean of love.
-- George de Benneville Provinces "Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) 'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
-- ee cummings Marriage is the one subject on which all women agree and all men disagree.
-- Oscar Wilde Provinces
The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.
-- Brian Pickrell The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.
-- Paul Valery This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love; the more they give, the more
they possess.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent
crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry
inspe "There is no such thing as a person that nothing has happened to, and each person's story is as different as his fingertips." (Elsa Lanchester) Provinces If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
- Seymour Cray (1925-1996), father of supercomputing If your professor wrote it, it's as near to the truth as you ever need to get.
-- John Watson, University of Canterbury After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
-- Aldous Huxley Provinces
After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare You can close your eyes to reality, but not to memories.
-- Stanislaw J. Lem "Talent does what it can; genius does what it must." (Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton) His ignorance is encyclopedic
- Abba Eban You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room
enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
-- Fred Allen Provinces The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.
-- George Bernard Shaw "It is awfully easy to be hard-boiled about everything in the daytime, but at night it is another thing." (Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises) Live truth instead of professing it.
-- Elbert Hubbard Provinces
Women and Cats will do as they please. Men and dogs had better get used to it.
-- Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love, Lazarus Long You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be
sacrificed to expediency.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the
top.
-- Ed Abbey If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavours to live the life which
one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
-- Henry David Thoreau When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up
something appropriate and do it.
-- E. W. Howe Provinces "To avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." (Elbert Hubbard, American author, 1856-1915) If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee.
-- Anonymous We have only one person to blame, and that's each other.
-- Barry Beck, New York Ranger, on who started a fight furing a hockey game Provinces
My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
-- Christopher Morley One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do
what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
-- W. C. Fields Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.
-- Virginia Woolf A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.
-- Edward Abbey Provinces Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
-- T.S. Eliot I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
- Mark Twain They will say you are on the wrong road, if it is your own.
-- Antonio Porchi Provinces
"To be great is to be misunderstood." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
-- George Santayana I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.
-- Albert Einstein "We're an embarrasment to college graduates across America." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. -- Guitry Provinces Every calling is great when greatly pursued.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
-- Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting
married "I owe much to my friends; but, all things considered, it strikes me that I owe even more to my enemies. The real person springs life under a sting even better than under a caress." (André Gide) Provinces
Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the
top.
-- Ed Abbey We have only one person to blame, and that's each other.
-- Barry Beck, New York Ranger, on who started a fight furing a hockey game Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.
-- Samuel Butler "Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong." (Muhammad Ali) The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard Provinces "REASONABLE, adj. Accessible to the infection of our own opinions. Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion." (Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary) No one finds life worth living; he must make it worth living.
-- Anon. Once a boy becomes a man, he's a man all his life, but a woman is only sexy until she becomes
your wife.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Provinces
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-- Groucho Marx "I've decided something: Commercial things really do stink. As soon as it becomes commercial for a mass market it really stinks." (Andy Warhol, The Andy Warhol Diaries, 1989) There are three great friends: an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
-- Benjamin Franklin "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll Provinces Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount.
-- Clare Boothe Luce Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.
-- David Starr Jordan "A true friend stabs you in the front." (Oscar Wilde) Provinces
I once asked my history teacher how we were expected to learn anything useful from his subject,
when it seemed to me to be nothing but a monotonous and sordid succession of robber baron
scumbags dev The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live.
-- Joan Borysenko The church is the great lost and found department.
-- Robert Short That's the nature of research--you don't know what in hell you're doing.
-- 'Doc' Edgerton The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!
-- Mark Russell Provinces Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.
-- Samuel Johnson "I have an unfortunate personality." (George Orson Welles) Why yes -- a bulletproof vest.
-- James Rodges, murderer, on his final request before the firing squad Provinces
Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones.
-- Phillip Brooks "I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) He would make a lovely corpse.
- Charles Dickens Realism is a corruption of reality.
-- Wallace Stevens "If all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world." (Blaise Pascal) Provinces What a difference there is between what we say and what we think.
-- Racine If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
-- Jenny Weber Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
-- Steven Wright Provinces
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau "Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." (Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance) Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
-- H. L. Mencken "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most fools do." (Dale Carnegie) Marriage was all a woman's idea and for man's acceptance of the pretty yoke, it becomes us to
be grateful.
-- Phyllis McGinley Provinces "'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!'" (Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass) Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.
-- Albert Einstein Provinces
