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Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not
"Eureka!", but "That's funny..."
-- Isaac Asimov Although the course may change sometimes, rivers always reach the sea.
-- Led Zeppelin, Ten Years Gone "See - one side of my face is gentle and kind, incapable of anything but love of my fellow man. The other side, the other profile, is cruel and predatory and evil, incapable of anything but lusts and Time is at once the most valuable and most perishable of all our possessions.
-- John Randolph Lazio Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without
feminine upheaval. Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the fair sex,
the ugl Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
-- Baskins Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose.
-- F. M. Knowles Lazio
I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin "How is it that we never have time to do a job right, but we always have time to do it over?" (Anonymous) You can observe a lot by watching.
-- Yogi Berra The church is the great lost and found department.
-- Robert Short Despite the high cost of living it remains a popular item.
-- Anonymous Lazio Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can.
-- Danny Kaye There's nothing wrong with having nothing to say -- unless you insist on saying it.
-- Anonymous "This is the first age that's paid much attention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one." (Arthur C. Clarke) Lazio
I shall return.
-- General Douglas MacArthur If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the
bureaucracy won't.
-- Hyman Rickover Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a
brand new ending.
-- Anonymous The last good thing written in C++ was the Pachelbel Canon.
-- Jerry Olson "When you resort to attacking the messenger and not the message, you have lost the debate." (Addison Whithecomb) Lazio "Nobody minds having what is too good for them." (Jane Austen) All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
- Ambrose Bierce You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
-- Henny Youngman Lazio
Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own
language and forthwith it is something entirely different.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe If other people are going to talk, conversation becomes impossible.
-- James McNeill Whistler "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) "Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential..." ( Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-
proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe
is Lazio Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they
do.
-- Olin Miller The first duty of love is to listen.
-- Paul Tillich Lazio
I want to die in my sleep like my friend.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his
car.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker What a difference there is between what we say and what we think.
-- Racine If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the
faculty of laughter.
-- Joseph Addison Elegance of language may not be in the power of all of us; but simplicity and straight forwardness
are. Write much as you would speak; speak as you think. If with your inferior, speak no coarser
tha Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between.
-- David Letterman Lazio "... What good are dreams if they come true?" (Frederick Exley, A Fan's Notes) 'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
-- ee cummings "Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under." (Henry Louis Mencken) Lazio
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? -- Phyllis Diller Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner The closer I'm bound in love to you, the closer I am to free.
-- Indigo Girls, song lyric Now comes the mystery.
-- Henry Ward Beecher, dying words, March 8, 1887 I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno Lazio "Bread feeds the body, indeed, but flowers feed also the soul." (The Prophet Mohammad) No matter who you vote for, the Government always gets in.
-- Anon. "When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost." (Billy Graham) Lazio
"If you want a thing done well, do it yourself." (Napoleon Bonaparte) The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.
-- George Bernard Shaw In the spider-web of facts, many a truth is strangled.
-- Paul Eldridge "Character is determined more by the lack of certain experiences than by those one has had." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "I always thought a dog-lover was a dog who loved another dog." (James Thurber) Lazio I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. we are for the most part
more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers.
-- Thoreau The closer I'm bound in love to you, the closer I am to free.
-- Indigo Girls, song lyric It was the greatest of the imperfect ventriloquist acts: when his lips moved, her body sang.
-- Tom Robbins Lazio
The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
-- Jackie Gleason Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them
missionaries for dinner.
-- H. L. Mencken Not to anticipate is already to moan.
-- Leonardo da Vinci Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.
-- William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act i. Sc. 1. Lazio A man's reach should exeed his grasp, or else what's a heaven for?
-- Robert Browning That's the nature of research--you don't know what in hell you're doing.
-- 'Doc' Edgerton Virtue is like health: the harmony of the whole man.
-- Thomas Carlyle Lazio
Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands... but English women only
hope to find in their butlers.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy-- the
mother.
-- Claudette Colbert Cliches should be avoided like the plague.
-- Anon. Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.
-- King George V "The dancer's body is simply the luminous manifestation of the soul." (Isadora Duncan) Lazio He who receives an idea from me receives instruction for himself without lessening mine; as he
who lights his taper at mine receives light without darkening me.
-- Thomas Jefferson "You exist only in what you do." (Federico Fellini) Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Lazio
Love is only the game that is not called on account of darkness.
-- M. Hirschfield I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage,
he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
-- Helen Roland Twenty years fron now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones
you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in
your Lazio To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being.
-- Tom Robbins There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to
be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson It ain't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.
-- Will Rogers Lazio
"Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
-- Anonymous Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead. "No man is clever enough to know all the evil he does." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) Lazio All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems. Our marriage would have worked if we hadn't lived together.
-- Joan Thompson "As is our confidence, so is our capacity." (William Hazlitt) Lazio
