"I have the terrible feeling that, because I am wearing a white beard and am sitting in the back of the theatre, you expect me to tell you the truth about something. These are the cheap seats, not Mou We must become the change we want to see.
-- Gandhi I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to
know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
- Clarence Darrow, When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is
when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.
-- Marcel Achard With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow.
-- Wedding Vow, Book of Common Prayer Localities Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.
-- Chinese Proverb He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation perfectly delightful.
-- Sydney Smith, referring to Macaulay The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.
-- George Bernard Shaw Localities
Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do.
-- Oscar Wilde I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for
half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey I still live.
-- Daniel Webster, dying words It is because modern education is so seldom inspired by a great hope that it so seldom achieves
great results. The wish to preserve the past rather that the hope of creating the future dominates
the Love is blind -- marriage is the eye-opener.
-- Pauline Thomason Localities Always do right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
-- Mark Twain History is more or less bunk.
-- Henry Ford Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence. Localities
"If there is something to pardon in everything, there is also something to condemn." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Will to Power, 1888) If God created us in His image we have certainly returned the compliment.
-- Voltaire Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all
I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going "Quit it."
-- Jerry Seinfeld Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and
hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in
Heaven.
-- P. J We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us.
-- Mme de Staël Localities "Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under." (Henry Louis Mencken) A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence
University education.
-- George Bernard Shaw Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things!
-- Tom Lehrer Localities
Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't
take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates...
-- Anonymous "If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there." (Sterling Holloway, voice of Chesire Cat, Alice in Wonderland) When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
-- Helen Rowland A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
-- Michel de Montaigne Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do.
-- Oscar Wilde Localities A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) The gods too are fond of a joke.
- Aristotle Localities
Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
-- Oscar Wilde I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including:
* Both of your socks should always be the same color
* Or they should at least both be fairly dark
-- Dave Barry "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) A university professor set an examination question in which he asked what is the difference
between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A+ to a student who answered: I
don't know and Localities In great matters men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small matters, as they are.
-- Gamaliel Bradford "One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) All virtue is summed up in dealing justly.
-- Aristotle Localities
Repentance is not so much remorse for what we have done as the fear of the consequences.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld, Maxims, 1665 Happy are those who dream dreams and are willing to pay the price to make them come true.
-- Anon. It is most unwise for people in love to marry.
-- George Bernard Shaw I could prove God statistically.
-- George Gallup "Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something." (Plato, 427 BC-348) Localities The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it
prevents you from achieving.
-- Russell Green Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass.
-- French Proverb "Nothing in education is so astonishing as the amount of ignorance it accumulates in the form of inert facts." (Henry B. Adams) Localities
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a
holding pattern over Philadelphia.
-- Judith Viorst Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
- Sir Winston Churchill Reading computer manuals without the hardware is a frustrating as reading sex manuals without
the software.
-- Arthur C. Clarke "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) Localities Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.
-- Albert Einstein The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to
contact us.
-- Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes "I praise loudly. I blame softly." (Catherine the Great) Localities
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." (Albert Einstein) If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything.
-- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) Life is the flower for which love is the honey.
-- Victor Hugo Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each
other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result being that they get on each other's
nerves Localities "The most beautiful things in the world are the most useless, peacocks and lilies, for instance." (John Ruskin) The whole art of teaching is only the art of awakening the natural curiosity of young minds for the
purpose of satisfying it afterwards.
-- Anatole France Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous Localities
Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.
-- Gloria Steinem God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at
the same time.
- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one
of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
-- George Bernard Shaw "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) Honorable, adj. Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary
to mention all members as honorable; as, ``the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.'
-- Bierce, A Localities There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
-- Flannery O'Connor Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan. Imagination is the highest kite one can fly.
-- Lauren Bacall Localities
The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.
-- Margo Kaufman Do you not know, my son, with what little understanding the world is ruled?
-- Pope Julius III "Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under." (Henry Louis Mencken) "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet." (Andy Warhol) "We have to be able to criticise what we love, to say what we have to say 'cause if your not trying to make something better, than as far as I can tell, you are just in the way." (Ani Difranco) Localities The only weapon that becomes sharper with constant use is the tongue.
-- Anonymous There is no course of life so weak and sottish as that which is managed by order, method, and
discipline.
-- Michel de Montaigne If you are all wrapped up in yourself, you are overdressed
-- Kate Halverson Localities
If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
-- Kingsley Amis The advice your son rejected is now being given by him to your grandson. "I am interested in anything about revolt, disorder , chaos--especially activity that seems to have no meaning. It seems to me to be the road toward freedom ... Rather than starting inside, I start ou "What is tolerance? -- it is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly -- that is the first law of nature." (Francois Marie Ar "The only way to have friends is to be one." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Localities "What is the difference between exploring and being lost?" (Dan Eldon, photojournalist) Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree
to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. you only need a heart full
of grac What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
-- Abraham Lincoln Localities
