The only reward of virtue is virtue.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.
-- David Starr Jordan The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
-- Anonymous He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
-- Anonymous More light!
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, dying words Provinces I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.
-- Euripides "Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Walk beside me and just be my friend." (Albert Camus) "I don't believe people die. They just go uptown. To Bloomingdales. They just take longer to get back." (Andy Warhol) Provinces
Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
-- George Burns I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
-- Fran Lebowitz I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.
-- Albert Einstein Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute. You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be
sacrificed to expediency.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Provinces Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
-- G. K. Chesterton Politics have no relation to morals.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for
half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey Provinces
"I consider it the highest compliment when my employees go out and start their own companies in competition with me. I always send them a plant to wish them well. Of course, it's a cactus." (Norman B Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does
come, we no longer exist.
-- Epicurus I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin An understanding heart is everything is a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One
looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our
human Suicide is belated acquiescence in the opinion of one's wife's relatives. Provinces "The most instructive experiences are those of everyday life." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "I've decided something: Commercial things really do stink. As soon as it becomes commercial for a mass market it really stinks." (Andy Warhol, The Andy Warhol Diaries, 1989) "A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car." (Kenneth Tynan) Provinces
There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the
instrument plays itself.
-- Johann Sebastian Bach Marriage is the one subject on which all women agree and all men disagree.
-- Oscar Wilde The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.
-- Mother Teresa "If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut." (Albert Einstein) "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) Provinces I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins The real questions are the ones that obtrude upon your consciousness whether you like it or not,
the ones that make your mind start vibrating like a jackhammer, the ones that you 'come to terms
with A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh Provinces
Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for the appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George Bernard Shaw Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant
day into your answers.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke The health of the people is really the foundation upon which all their happiness and all their
powers as a State depend.
-- Benjamin Disraeli I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.
-- John Cage Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau ( Provinces I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins We had a lot in common. I loved him and he loved him.
-- Shelley Winters And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
-- Abraham Lincoln Provinces
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
- e e cummings Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of
the other person.
-- Mark Twain We make our friends; we make our enemies; but God makes our next door neighbour.
-- G. K. Chesterton No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
-- Honore de Balzac "Every Man and every Woman is a Star." (Aleister Crowley) Provinces "If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair." (Samuel Johnson) I date this girl for two years--and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name."
-- Mike Binder I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
-- Fran Lebowitz Provinces
"Jesus died too soon. If he had lived to my age he would have repudiated his doctrine." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The great end of life is not knowledge, but action. What men need is as much knowledge as they
can organize for action; give them more and it may become injurious. Some men are heavy and
stupid from I like nonsense -- it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way
of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope...and that enables you to laugh at all It is not good enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well.
-- Rene Descartes Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt Provinces Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
-- Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare. Act II, Scene II, lines 220-221 Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is.
-- Thomas Szasz "The most instructive experiences are those of everyday life." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Provinces
I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find
that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our
pain I am going to put myself to sleep now for a bit longer than usual. Call the time Eternity." (Jerzy Kosinski, Polish novelist, from his suicide note) The worth of the state, in the long run, is the worth of the individuals composing it.
-- John Stuart Mill It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain Provinces A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
-- G. K. Chesterton Cricket is best described as organised loafing.
-- Anonymous British Radio Broadcaster, 1996 Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from
history.
-- George Bernard Shaw Provinces
It's no credit to anyone to work to hard.
-- Ed Howe There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.
-- Will Rogers You can't say civilization isn't advancing: in every war they kill you in a new way.
-- Will Rogers Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.
-- Anonymous I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including:
* Both of your socks should always be the same color
* Or they should at least both be fairly dark
-- Dave Barry Provinces Laundry increases exponentially in the number of children.
-- Miriam Robbins It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
-- Oscar Wilde A White House well filled, a little peanut field well tilled, and a wife who will go to the Bronx are
great riches.
-- Poor Jimmy's Almanac Provinces
Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them.
-- Ralph N. Gerard I hate women because they always know where things are.
-- James Thurber "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) "Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers." (Socrates) "One of the things about acting is it allows you to live other people's lives without having to pay the price. I've never been one of those actors who has touted myself as a fascinating human being. I Provinces For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-
knowing.
- Henry Louis Mencken Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous
and dreadful.
-- Samuel Johnson Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
-- Finley Peter Dunne Provinces
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
- Abraham Lincoln ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 "Any existence deprived of freedom is a kind of death." (General Michel Aoun) Our own heart, and not other men's opinions form our true honor.
-- Coleridge, Samuel Taylor Provinces You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres I like nonsense -- it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way
of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope...and that enables you to laugh at all Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.
-- Erica Jong Provinces
