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Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes. Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? -- Phyllis Diller "Let no one be discouraged by the belief there is nothing one person can do against the enormous array of the world's ills, misery, ignorance, and violence. Few will have the greatness to bend history It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing. Carloforte Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
-- Robert Frost Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them.
-- Ralph N. Gerard Carloforte
There's a saying among prospectors: "Go out looking for one thing, and that's all you'll ever find."
-- Robert Flaherty Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.
-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the center of the universe. The
premise is wrong, but the navigation works. An incorrect model can be a useful tool.
-- Kelvin Throop I Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.
-- Erica Jong Carloforte Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and
begin slitting throats.
- Henry Louis Mencken There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to
be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson There is a coherent plan in the universe, though I don't know what it's a plan for.
-- Fred Hoyle Carloforte
All courage is a form of constancy. It is always himself that a coward abandons first. After this all
other betrayals come.
-- Cormac McCarthy Every man knows his follies and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
-- Josh Billings It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get back up.
-- Vince Lombardi Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give. -- Cass Daley We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.
-- Aesop Carloforte A really busy person never knows how much he weighs.
-- Ed Howe What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
-- Abraham Lincoln People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.
-- Walter Savage Landor Carloforte
I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. He that would have the fruit must climb the tree.
-- Thomas Fuller, M.D. blah "If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves." (Thomas Alva Edison) 2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time.
-- inside of a Pepsi cap "Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours." (Dale Carloforte Democracy is the name we give the people whenever we need them.
-- Marquis de Flers Robert and Arman de Caillavet "If you believe everything you read, you better not read." (Japanese Proverb) When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are
legislators.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Carloforte
We have been friends together in sunshine and in shade.
-- Caroline Norton "In literary criticism the critic has no choice but to make over the victim of his attention into something the size and shape of himself." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) I hate mankind, for I think myself to be one of them, and I know how bad I am.
-- Samuel Johnson Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
-- Igor Stravinsky Carloforte I date this girl for two years--and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name."
-- Mike Binder A problem is a chance for you to do your best.
-- Buke Ellington "Have love for your friend up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your enemy some day; and hate your enemy up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your friend some day." (Ali bin Carloforte
My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them. "Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential..." ( We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person
perfectly.
-- Anonymous Life is like a movie--since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the
bathroom in the middle of it.
-- Nick Mirov If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams Carloforte Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
-- Rose Franken Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
- Friedrich Nietzsche In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person
must be fired.
-- Conway's Law Carloforte
"Children spell love...T-I-M-E." (Dr. Anthony P. Witham) "People demand freedom only when they have no power." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) None but a good man is really a living man, and the more good any man does, the more he really
lives. All the rest is death, or belongs to it.
-- Herman Melville I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard "A conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) Carloforte "Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something." (Plato, 427 BC-348) A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true.
-- Polish proverb Carloforte
Marriage was all a woman's idea and for man's acceptance of the pretty yoke, it becomes us to
be grateful.
-- Phyllis McGinley Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
-- Robert Frost "Goodwill is the only asset that competition cannot undersell or destroy." (Mrshall Field, businessman and philanthropist) "I am a part of all that I have met." (Alfred Lord Tennyson, 1809-1892, English poet) Where there is an unknowable there is a promise.
-- Thornton Wilder Carloforte Washing one's hands of the conflict between the powerful and the powerless means to side with
the powerful, not to be neutral.
-- Paulo Freire "Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." (Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance) "I am not afraid of tomorrow, for i have seen yesterday and i love today!" (William Allen White) Carloforte
A hippo does not have a sting in its tail, but a wise man would still rather be sat on by a bee.
-- Polish proverb "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit." (Aristotle) "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." (Oscar Wilde, his last recorded words) Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware;
those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.
-- Unknown author, Levitating T To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it;
whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Ogden Nash Carloforte "A man must dream a long time in order to act with grandeur, and dreaming is nursed in darkness." (Jean Genet) A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde The best theology would need no advocates; it would prove itself.
-- Karl Barth Carloforte
"It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company." (George Washington) Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.
-- Emily Dickinson Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
-- Indian proverb It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed.
They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.
-- John Hogan, Commonwealth blah "A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of creation." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Carloforte Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.
-- Bertrand Russell "In my opinion, the greatest single failure of American education is that students come away unable to distinguish between a symbol and the thing the symbol stands for." (Paul Lutus) My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them. Carloforte
"Shared joys make a friend, not shared sufferings." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I don't know which is more discouraging, literature or chickens.
-- E. B. White If all these sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised.
-- Dorothy Parker Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
-- Robert Frost Whenever you eliminate the inedible, whatever remains, however unpalatable, must be food.
-- Anonymous Carloforte We never reflect how pleasant it is to ask for nothing.
-- Seneca The coziness between church and state is good for the state and bad for the church.
-- G. K. Chesterton Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who
can't read.
-- Frank Zappa Carloforte
