"I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats." (Woody Allen, in regard to the KKK) "A man who flies from his fear may find he has only taken a shortcut to meet it." (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien) "Twelve magicians and two carnies have been shot dead doing the bullet catch. That's cool enough, but every night when we close our show with that trick and the loaded gun gets pointed in my face, it "I do not suppose I shall be remembered for anything. But I don't think about my work in those terms. It is just as vulgar to work for the sake of posterity as to work for the sake of money." (George Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Wellman died unmarried four years ago Provinces Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. -- Guitry I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
- Steven Wright Provinces
Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more
experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat
soiled or torn? "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit." (Aristotle) "The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) "There is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself." (Herman Melville) "When thou art at Rome, do as they do at Rome." (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, 1547-1616) Provinces "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.
-- Thomas Dekker There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats.
-- Albert Schweitzer Provinces
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does
come, we no longer exist.
-- Epicurus Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
-- Mae West While we are postponing, life speeds by.
- Seneca (3BC - 65AD) Computers will not be perfected until they can compute how much more than the estimate the job
will cost.
-- Anon "You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, On becoming a writer, NY Times 21 Provinces I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way
around Chinatown.
-- Woody Allen I am in total control, but don't tell my wife. God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if
he finds her.
-- Benjamin Tillett Provinces
Dreams never hurt anybody if you keep working right behind the dreams to make as much of
them become real as you can.
-- Frank W. Woolworth When people have no other tyrant, their own public opinion becomes one.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton "He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." (Thomas Paine) "Even death is unreliable. Instead of zero it may be some ghastly hallucination, such as the square root of minus one." (Samuel Beckett) Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the
writing will be just as it should be.
-- Mark Twain Provinces In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update
would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every
computer that th The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband bein' big enough to keep his mouth
shut, to step back and see where his wife is wrong.
-- Archie Bunker, character on "All in the Family, You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or
play.
-- WARREN BEATTY Provinces
Go away...I'm alright.
-- H. G. Wells, dying words When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims
of intact ones.
-- Peter DeVries He that always gives way to others will end in having no principles of his own.
-- Aesop Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when
people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw "If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat." (Mark Twain) Provinces Children are a poor man's riches.
-- English proverb Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
-- Martin Mull Why did Nature create man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it
pure ignorance?
-- Holbrook Jackson Provinces
"Today was good. / Today was fun. / Tomorrow is another one." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.
-- Ellen Hubbard If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
-- Bob Edwards I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
- John F. Kennedy when asked what is his favorite song Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
-- Aldous Huxley Provinces "Brevity is the soul of wit." (William Shakespeare) "If a man has good corn, or wood, or boards, or pigs to sell, or can make better chairs or knives, crucibles, or church organs, than anybody else, you will find a broad, hard-beaten road to his house, Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
-- Oscar Wilde Provinces
Whoever controls the media--the images--controls the culture.
-- Allen Ginsberg Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
--Anon. Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed.
-- Hoshang N. Akhtar May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. I think one of the reasons I'm popular again is because I'm wearing a tie. You have to be different.
-- Tony Bennett, 1995 Provinces Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
-- George Santayana "How wondrous familiar is a fool!" (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant
day into your answers.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke Provinces
Grove giveth and Gates taketh away.
- Bob Metcalfe (inventor of Ethernet) on the trend of hardware speedups not being able to keep
up with software demands To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being.
-- Tom Robbins A hippo does not have a sting in its tail, but a wise man would still rather be sat on by a bee.
-- Polish proverb If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
- J. Paul Getty The Church is an organism that grows best in an alien society.
-- C. Stacey Woods Provinces "A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car." (Kenneth Tynan) "Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him." (Aldous Huxley) The advice your son rejected is now being given by him to your grandson. Provinces
I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no
religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear
of Man is the only animal that blushes--or needs to.
-- Mark Twain What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat
guy in the third row exists?
-- Woody Allen The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it.
-- Lou Holtz Provinces "Think where mans glory most begins and ends, and say my glory was I had such friends." (William Butler Yeats) "If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) "If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library." (Frank Zappa) Provinces
We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
-- Winston Churchill The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this century's history.... We all lived
in this century. I didn't live in this century.
-- Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republic Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass.
-- French Proverb The covers of this book are too far apart.
-- Ambrose Bierce Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner Provinces The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book. When you're experimenting you have to try so many things before you choose what you want,
and you may go days getting nothing but exhaustion.
-- Fred Astaire What is the answer? In that case, what is the question?
-- Gertrude Stein, dying words Provinces
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
-- Paul Valery "Genius without education is like silver in the mine." (Benjamin Franklin) It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by
the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off!
-- Douglas Jerold, 1858 Many a man has finally succeeded only because he has failed after repeated efforts. If he had
never met defeat he would never have known any great victory.
-- Orison Swett Marden Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
- Georg Lichtenberg Provinces "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) Discovery consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else does and thinking something
different.
-- Albert Szent-Gyorgyi, 1937 Nobel Prize in Physiology and Medicine "For better or for worse, our company (The News Corporation Ltd.) is a reflection of my thinking, my character, my values." (Keith Rupert Murdoch, media mogul, 1931-) Provinces
