Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx To write a good love letter, you ought to begin without knowing what you mean to say, and to
finish without knowing what you have written.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau Tear open packet, unfold and use.
-- Directions on moist towelette package When people go to work, they shouldn't have to leave their hearts at home.
-- Betty Bender I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
-- Anonymous Provinces "Ninety percent of my salary I spent on booze and women ... and the other ten percent I wasted." (Tug McGraw, Major League Baseball pitcher) Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.
-- George E. Woodberry If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to get a 'fix' of
something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that netnews is far more addictive than
cocaine.
Provinces
Considering the flames and intolerance, shouldn't USENET be spelled ABUSENET?
-- Michael Meissner You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald
spot.
-- Elayne Boosler Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
-- Charles Pierce There is nothing that can be said by mathematical symbols and relations which cannot also be
said by words. The converse, however, is false. Much that can be and is said by words cannot
successfully Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
-- Frank L. Visco, How to Write Good Provinces All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems. "Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." (George Orwell) The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live Provinces
He that would have the fruit must climb the tree.
-- Thomas Fuller, M.D. "College: two hundred people reading same book. An obvious mistake. Two hundred people can read two hundred books." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
- Gail Godwin "It is the nature of a man as he grows older, a small bridge in time, to protest against change, particularly change for the better." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book. Provinces He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
-- Bertolt Brecht "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most fools do." (Dale Carnegie) The last good thing written in C++ was the Pachelbel Canon.
-- Jerry Olson Provinces
"You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question." (Albert Camus, The Fall) "God's creatures, great and small ... eat them one, eat them all." (John A. Simone Sr.) Marry in haste, repent in leisure.
-- Tilney Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing
they die earlier.
-- H. L. Mencken Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
-- Pancho Villa, dying words Provinces I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
-- Mark Twain "I was a total loner, not by self-design. I just didn't know what the hell to say to people. I was so shy. I used to stammer and lisp and dribble at the mouth." (Sir Anthony Hopkins, on his youth) We think caged birds sing, when indeed they cry.
-- John Webster Provinces
Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same
thing nowadays.
-- Oscar Wilde Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can get divorced. The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
-- Josh Billings If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
-- Jenny Weber Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
-- Anonymous Provinces Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You're able to
benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment.
-- Ralph Mars When you've spent half your political life dealing with humdrum issues like the environment... it's
exciting to have a real crisis on your hands.
-- Margaret Thatcher, on the Falklands Conflict Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.
-- James Baldwin Provinces
It's true that I did get the girl, but then my grandfather always said, "Even a blind chicken finds a
few grains of corn now and then."
-- Lyle Lovett, musician, upon marying actress Julia Roberts, We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
-- Decca Recording Company, rejecting the Beatles, 1962 Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
- George Bernard Shaw I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
- Thomas Jefferson Provinces Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for the appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George Bernard Shaw Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of
existence.
-- Sydney Smith By working faithfully eight hours a day, you might eventually get to be a boss and work twelve
hours a day.
-- ROBERT FROST Provinces
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is
merely a good excuse not to play football.
-- Fran Lebowitz Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.
-- Al Gore, U.S. Vice President It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.
-- Alec Bourne, A Doctor's Creed In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes.
-- Elizabeth Ashley "I am interested in anything about revolt, disorder , chaos--especially activity that seems to have no meaning. It seems to me to be the road toward freedom ... Rather than starting inside, I start ou Provinces Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham Twenty years fron now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones
you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in
your "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead, 1901-78) Provinces
Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
-- James Joyce "He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." (George Bernard Shaw) Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for
appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George bernard Shaw Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.
-- John-Paul Sartre In great matters men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small matters, as they are.
-- Gamaliel Bradford Provinces Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the
commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete
answer. In fact, women's total ins I drink no more than a sponge.
-- Francis Rabelais, Works. Book i. Chap. v. "Well begun is half done." (Aristotle) Provinces
My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her. When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are
legislators.
-- P. J. O'Rourke "Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few." (George Bernard Shaw) "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." (Viktor E. Frankl) Such is life.
-- Ned Kelly, Last words, before being hung at Old Melbourne Gaol Provinces Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same
thing nowadays.
-- Oscar Wilde "Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking." (H. Jackson Brown (Jr.) A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.
-- Edward Abbey Provinces
You cannot think about thinking, without thinking about thinking about something.
-- Seymour Papert Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire.
-- Jean de La Fontaine The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort We haven't the money, so we've got to think.
-- Lord Rutherford I love cats because I love my home and after a while they become its visible soul.
-- Jean Cocteau Provinces A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
- George Bernard Shaw Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.
-- Aristotle Provinces
My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it. "Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." (George Bernard Shaw) It was a day like this Marco Polo left for China. What are your plans for today?
--Loesje Our own heart, and not other men's opinions form our true honor.
-- Coleridge, Samuel Taylor "Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes." (Oscar Wilde) Provinces "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) I'd wipe the machines off the face of the earth again, and end the industrial epoch absolutely, like
a black mistake.
-- D. H. Lawrence What does not kill me makes me stronger.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Provinces
