I drink no more than a sponge.
-- Francis Rabelais, Works. Book i. Chap. v. Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between.
-- David Letterman These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
-- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995 "In some ways, I never outgrew my adolescence. I wake up in the morning and think, 'Oh my God, I'm late for a math test!' But then I say, 'Wait a minute. I'm 40.'" (Daniel Clowes) blah "The length of this document defends it well against the risk of its being read." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) Localities "To introduce something altogether new would mean to begin all over, to become ignorant again, and to run the old, old risk of failing to learn." (Isaac Asimov) It is most unwise for people in love to marry.
-- George Bernard Shaw Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
-- Steven Wright Localities
I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of
humor is just common sense, dancing.
-- Clive James Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.
-- Max Frisch "The mark of our time is its revulsion against imposed patterns." (Marshall McLuhan) If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee.
-- Anonymous Localities Goodbye, Everybody!
-- Hart Crane, poet, who committed suicide by jumping overboard during a steamship voyage. The optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity.
-- Winston Churchill An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.
-- Sacha Guitry Localities
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -- Agatha Christie I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward To write a good love letter, you ought to begin without knowing what you mean to say, and to
finish without knowing what you have written.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
-- Buddha Thought is action in rehearsal.
-- Sigmund Freud Localities Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
-- Aldous Huxley "If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there." (Sterling Holloway, voice of Chesire Cat, Alice in Wonderland) Every major horror of history was committed in the name of an altruistic motive.
-- Ayn Rand Localities
I think one of the reasons I'm popular again is because I'm wearing a tie. You have to be different.
-- Tony Bennett, 1995 For I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me.
-- Winnie the Pooh, character from author A. A. Milne "To avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." (Elbert Hubbard, American author, 1856-1915) University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
- Henry Kissinger Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.
-- G. K. Chesterton Localities "The meeting of two personalites is like the contact of two chemical substances. If there is any reaction, both are transformed." (Carl Gustav Jung) Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's
family does too.
-- Anonymous Localities
Marriage is a rest period between romances. There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker The church is the great lost and found department.
-- Robert Short "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
- Will Rogers Localities I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put
over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like
toxic waste.
-- David Bissonette Localities
You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room
enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
-- Fred Allen I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people
themselves.
-- August Strindberg We didn't send you to Washington to make intelligent decisions. We sent you to represent us.
-- Kent York, Baptist minister to US Rep. Bill Sarpalius Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true.
-- Polish proverb Destiny is but a phrase of the weak human heart - the dark apology for every error. The strong
and virtuous admit no destiny. On earth conscience guides; in heaven God watches. And destiny
is but th Localities ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Where there is an unknowable there is a promise.
-- Thornton Wilder "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e Localities
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to
know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
- Clarence Darrow, It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember.
-- Eugene McCarthy Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
-- Lily Tomlin The coziness between church and state is good for the state and bad for the church.
-- G. K. Chesterton "Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism." (Dave Barry) Localities You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world's happiness now. How? By
giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you
will However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my usual manner...sulking and nausea.
-- Tom K. Ryan One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....
-- Robert Boynton Localities
"The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked. 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'" (Lewi I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein Never judge a book by its movie.
-- J. W. Eagan "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most fools do." (Dale Carnegie) Books had instant replay long before televised sports.
-- Bern Williams Localities Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous; it is nothing if it is not ridiculous.
-- Thornton Wilder In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
-- Adlai Stevenson Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of
genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
-- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart Localities
"God's creatures, great and small ... eat them one, eat them all." (John A. Simone Sr.) Marriage is a trip between Niagara Falls and Reno. "All our best men are laughed at in this nightmare land." (Jack Keroac) "To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend." (Jacques Derrida, French 'deconstructionist') They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so
brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind.
-- Cindy Crawford, supermodel Localities "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.
-- Alphonse Allais The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law.
-- Yiddish Proverb Localities
"Murder is the very bed-rock of our social institutions." (Octave Mirbeau, The Torture Garden) "I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) "It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." (William Blake) Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of
genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
-- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a
lot less.
-- Brendon Behan Localities Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
- Jean-Paul Sartre "It seems to me that there are two kinds of trickery: the 'fronts' people assume before one another's eyes, and the 'front' a writer puts on the face of reality." (Francois Sagan) He who dies a thousand deaths meets the final hour with the calmness of one who approaches a
well remembered door.
-- Heywood Brown Localities
To realize that you do not understand is a virtue;
Not to realize that you do not understand is a defect.
--Lao-Tzu, "Tao Teh Ching" Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
-- H. L. Mencken Nothing average ever stood as a monument to progress. When progress is looking for a partner it
doesn't turn to those who believe they are only average. It turns instead to those who are forever
sea You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.
-- Ziggy, character in comic strip by Tom Wilson I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
- Frederick (II) the Great Localities Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.
-- Mark Twain The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and only
way that the mediocre and vile can be transformed, and (c) doing that makes it that. We waste
time Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to
vote for Colonel Sanders.
-- Bob Inglis, 1995 Localities
